Sometimes I could kick myself........

I don't suppose anyone can help picking up, lets call them, fair weather friends, as they go through life... I've certainly got my fair share, you know, the ones who take but never give back, that are happy to phone you and spend an hour or so chewing your ear off  about how terrible their lives are and what problems they've got (and expecting you to fix them) but at the same time they can't even mange to say "how are you?"

Now I know I am a mug, well not really, but it feels like that sometimes, because I do let friends do this.... possibly because I've not many of them thanks to the controlling Ex who carefully extracted them one by one over the years without me noticing, but also because I like to believe that should I ever get myself into difficulties and need a friend at least one or two of them might be there for me.  I sometimes wonder if I am deluding myself and they do all just think I am a doormat.

Anyway late last night I had a call from, well one of these friends, which is perhaps not being fair on her, but I am feeling a little bitter, as she is one of those people I do consider to be like family, we've known each other a very long time (long story, but even though she's only 6 years younger than I am I used to babysit for her and her brother/sisters).  For the last 14 months or so she's been quite distant as she's been wrapped up in her oh so new and spangly other half (which will probably tell you what my gut reaction was to him)..... they'd moved in together about 6 months ago and I thought everything was fine, until yesterday.  Things had all imploded and she needed out...

So off I went to collect her in the middle of the night .... made up the spare bed and poured vodka into her and then her into bed.... Today has been about letting my maternal instinct take charge, offering comfort and food (well chocolate but that is just taken as read) whilst I listened and agreed, mainly, whilst being very good not to bad mouth or tell her what I really thought (deciding that honesty can come later when there is distance between what happened)

Then this evening he started texting, and tomorrow she's going to go back and see if they can work things out.....which is fine and her decision, but I can't help feeling perhaps just a tiny bit bitter and a little used.... and the really stupid thing, I know that in a heartbeat I'd do it all again, for her or any of my friends......