Sugar overload....

There has been way too much chocolate and sugar in my life this evening....... and I have not eaten any of it!

It's odd, but I don't actually seem to get cravings for sweet things, sure I like chocolate (preferably dark, bitter chocolate, the stuff that one small piece is enough), cakes, and such like.... but that wouldn't be my number one choice of either comfort food or what my body craves on a hormonal basis (unlike my sister whose other half has been sent out on middle of the night chocolate buying emergencies)..... My hormones are screwed, they know damn well I'm a vegetarian, but what do they want each month..... yup, roast chicken!  

10 months after giving up caffeine, I still get cravings for coffee. Though I am not even sure it's the caffeine I want or just the coffee flavour - I allow myself an occasional cup of decaffeinated coffee, particularly after a nice meal, but I don't seem to miss any sort of buzz from it.... and I definitely don't miss the inability to fall asleep!  I am learning to adapt to caffeine free diet coke rather than Pepsi Max but that has been a slower and more painful process!

Right now, with the fairly recent yeast exclusion, I am craving crusty bread.....and as I am trying to eat healthily and cheese has been more or less of the menu for the last three months, a nice bit of brie to go with it......failing that toast and Marmite (yep about as yeasty as you can get!) would do!

Anyway, after work tonight I turned my kitchen into a production line for the Comic Relief coffee and cake afternoon Mum is hosting on Saturday.... I have made chocolate cup cakes, flapjack and brownies.......and as I baked the air in the kitchen got sweeter and felt stickier (which I put down to the heating syrup for the flapjack).....by the time the brownies came out the oven I was totally over the whole thing... and made myself a very savoury tea of veggie sausages, potato wedges and broccoli.  

I've another batch of gluten free cupcakes to do tomorrow....... oh and then they need icing.....by Saturday afternoon I am not going to want to look at a cake, let alone eat one..... Lets just hope lots of people come and generously donate money.... and take the cakes away!

And relax......

For it is the weekend..... this is probably going to ramble as I am rather tired (you've been warned, read at your own risk)

We will start with the stocking of doom....... I have managed to wear it all day at work for the last three days.... it feels kind of odd, not really painful, but like someone is hugging your leg, so just, well weird.  On the plus side it seems to be working.... on the down side... I really must shave every last hair off my leg as even the shortest bits keep catching in the elastic and, well, ouch!!  Trouble is I've been told because of how sensitive the skin is on that leg no blades, no waxing, no sugaring, no chemicals........ so apparently I have to go buy an electric shaver....... and any guesses how long it will take me to kill that?

The other downside to the leg is when I first take the stocking back off again the skin that has been under it is shockingly sensitive to touch.... I mean, the cat winds round my ankle and it's all I can do not to scream and kick out.  I've queried this with my MacMillan nurse and hopefully she'll have some suggestions before the cats take pre-emptive action and get in first!  I've also ordered a back up stocking for the bad leg and am waiting to be measured up for the good leg to have it's own stocking.... cos it looks odd only wearing one!

In other news, work is a bitch........ this time of year always is as we are in the last couple of months before financial year end......the new computer system went live this week and they expect us to all be up to speed right away and then add to that we have a whole new raft of changes to the legal system that affect the work I do in particular come into force on 1st April and, well, it's just madness.... and two hours of very boring and dry seminar on the subject on a Friday afternoon was not a good plan... my brain felt like I'd been swimming in treacle by the time I got out of work.

On the plus side.... highlight of the week.... talking about the changes and a colleague said that being young it should be no problem for me.... I kind of looked at him and asked how old he thought I was, to which he said, a couple of years older than him, and he turns 30 in August...... he looked genuinely shocked when I told him I turned 40 next month :)

Tomorrow I shall have an early start as the postal fairies tried to deliver a parcel today whilst I was out but as it wouldn't fit through the door I will have to go and fetch it from the sorting office.  I think I know what it is, which is very exciting... and if it is what I think it is, there will be photos tomorrow!  After that in intend to strenuously ignore the housework and finish knitting something, and possibly read...... I really do need to switch off and have some me time.

Finally for now, I've been watching Crufts on the TV the last couple of nights with very mixed feelings.  For over 10 years it was a focal point of part of my life.....the big show that you have to qualify to enter, and which I did exhibit at every year during that time......  even this year I got tweets and e-mails asking if I was going, just to watch, I haven't shown any of the dogs for about 4 years now.... but no, whilst I miss a few people, those I do miss I speak to out of that environment and don't need to see ... and yes whilst I'd like to go back one day I am not sure how the wide spread the poison the ex spread about me is these days, though I am sure that it is there.... and of course I don't really want to run into her..... unless it's with a car, at speed.......so for at least the next few years it is strictly watching from the sofa with the mob.

Bondage, kind of, but not in a fun way...

Well today started in one heck of a rush, but thankfully it got a lot calmer this afternoon!

After the normal round of trying to persuade the dogs to stay in bed till at least 5.30 - it didn't work, they had a short walk and breakfast and we were back on the sofa for another hour by that time.... I got ready for work - with obligatory 5 minute cat cuddling - and headed off for work.  I actually start at 8.30  but I had a telephone appointment with my MacMillan nurse at 8 am - which I ended up doing from one of the small interview rooms.

Now I love my MacMillan nurse, she actually does know what she's talking about and knows how to treat the defective lymph system in my left leg... unlike my doctor who hasn't got a frickin clue. So we started off with twenty questions, I confirmed I felt fine, I'd given up yeast products (which is harder than I realised as they sneak the damn stuff in everywhere), I'd had no new outbreaks on my leg and the last lot of manky bits were clearing up - yes good great... then the dreaded question... and how are you getting on with the pressure stocking....... erm...... I hedged by saying I wasn't sure my skin was healed enough yet.

She suggested I take pictures of my leg on my phone and text them over to her and she'd be the judge on that one..... Have you ever tried taking a photograph of the back of your calf by yourself, in an office, as your work colleagues are starting to come in, without looking a complete pillock?  In the end I spied my team leader had come in and dragged her in to the interview room to take the photo.

Pictures sent I went off to start working and about ten minutes later judgement arrived by text.... I have to start wearing the pressure stocking......like today......

Now anyone who has flown long distance or had surgery probably has  some idea of what a pressure stocking is.... trust me, it's nothing like those at all..... for a start it's custom made, it's thick black elastic type material..... and it comes with it's own pressure reading in mm of mercury (mm Hg)

Now I like a little light bondage as much as the next person........ but I've never seen the appeal of the body suit type things that look like you've been shrunk wrapped into a bin bag.... which is kind of what I felt I was putting on my leg.  You can't put it on like a normal stocking, oh no, it has to be turned inside out then carefully rolled up your leg.  It sits in place with 5 rows of plastic type bobbles on the inside which grip your skin..... and it compresses... yep it definitely does that..... you can't pull the material away from your leg and you need a pair of rubber gloves to get it off again

I wore it for four hours this evening as a trial run.... tomorrow I will be being well behaved and putting it on when I dress in the morning and it will remain on all day...... it's a very odd feeling once it's on, a bit like being squashed, a little painful at first, but then that kind of goes, you can't really forget about it as you always know you are wearing it ...

My counsellor thought it was slightly kinky in my appointment this evening....... but then again he's a bit weird anyway!

Spring things.....

Some of my favourite early spring
flowers in mum's garden today

Erm, it's March.... already... how in the name of all that is good and even remotely holey did that happen?  I mean, new year was only last week wasn't it?

So, since Thursday when I last posted.... I spent nearly 2 days alternating between bed, bathroom and sofa ... sleeping for most of the time after the first 12 hours had passed thankfully.... the bug completely knocked me out and I didn't really feel fully functional till this morning.  Sadly one of the things about having an immune system that doesn't work properly means that when you aren't picking up all germs known to man the damn thing goes into overdrive at the most inappropriate moments to do particularly unhelpful things.... like send your lymph system loopy, or make your joints swell up.  When the medical powers that be next consider what transplants they'd like to do next, never mind doing a hand, or a face, a working immune system would be nice... erm, either that or possibly a spine transplant....

Actually, on the plus side with the whole being March thing it has got substantially warmer with temperatures reaching almost double figures in the last few days... fingers crossed this will hold (and we don't get too much rain)

On the minus side with the warming up.... the Hell Cats have suddenly got a lot more active.... to the extent where when I am downstairs it frequently sounds like rolls of thunder approaching as they race around.... they are also much louder and singing from the stairs regularly again.  I guess when your naked winter is best viewed from mainly under the duvet with regular forays out for food.  Sadly the evil capacity of these felines is also on the increase and Hugo is currently nicknamed "shark bait"........ as this is what I am threatening to use him as if he doesn't stop pulling down my clothes from their hangers as they are drying on the door frames.

baby daffodils....again from mum's
garden... mine has flowers... you just can't
see them for the weeds!

Today I did the weekend things that I'd not managed on Saturday.... laundry, the supermarket run and a quick clean of the house.... though the whole concept of a "spring clean" is something I am ignoring.

Mum was in a celebratory mood as the free-loader has moved out the attic.... big sighs of relief all round... and thankfully the stress levels have completely dropped straight away.  She was full of planning for the Comic Relief Tea Party she is holding on 16th March.... for which I am apparently in charge of cup cakes and cookies (and I have no doubt the kettle..... though for some reason Mum's kettle refuses to blow up!)

Next weekend in the UK it's Mothering Sunday (or Smothering Sunday as it used to be referred to when I was little) and my sister and I have arranged a posh Sunday dinner and a couple of small gifts .... I am also in charge of dessert, which will be crumble, because, after all, crumble solves everything ..... well, it helps anyway, in my world!

Weekend waffling.....

Welcome, to another boring weekend in my so called life!

Last night was it's usual Friday night wash out of being far too tired after the working week to do anything remotely exciting except curl up on the sofa and read.

Today, I had to go out and do things..... because in a fit of optimism during the week I decided that I was spending far too much on doing my shopping on line and having it delivered, plus I wasn't actually eating half the stuff I ordered, so I could just take myself to the supermarket and do the shopping...... which in theory was fine!

I wandered round to mother's first thing... okay, well about 10.30 am by the time I'd got my arse into gear and stopped faffing about.... so that I could do laundry and catch up on her gossip..... she's very good at gossip!  I was subjected to answering the questions in the standard crossword and the general knowledge quiz in her newspaper as I sat at the table and got on with my knitting....... though she refuses to do the suduko whilst I am there as apparently it's not helpful to have someone calling out random numbers as she's trying to think......

I did discover that I come by my inability to complete things genetically... and for once not from my father (from whom most of my strange traits come from).....  Earlier in the week I'd asked if she had any buttons as I needed some for a baby jumper I am meant to be knitting (said baby safely arrived today).... anyway, this caused her to tidy out her sewing box (mum, my sister and I all have the same boxes, they belonged to my grandma and her sisters.... whilst mum and sister actually have sewing stuff in theirs, mine is full of yarn.... oh and old photos for some reason).  Anyway, she brought out a couple of tapestry things she'd done and was going to get framed for some of her fairly young nieces........ and then she produced a table cloth she was embroidering..... and proceeded to explain that she'd started it when she was 18 but never finished it........ I've suggested she should try to finish it within the next 3 years....... as then it will at least have only taken her 60 years to complete.......... At this point I was informed I was a cheeky baggage ......

Anyway, after I'd run out of excuses not to leave and go shopping I went to the big supermarket... and drove round the car park...... and out of it....... having been struck by a complete feeling of "nope, not happening".  Now I know that I do get stressed out by busy large supermarkets - particularly when there are lots of kids, long queues and the cashiers are obviously in a hurry and throw things down the check outs....... but I just couldn't face it....... so I went to the much smaller (and in fact a lot cheaper) little supermarket (well hardly super) and managed to get just about everything I needed ....... though they don't do cat food that their imperial felinities find acceptable so I had to trog round to the pet shop afterwards.

Shopping was unpacked with only minor incident when I knocked over an open box of dog biscuits, which poured into the fruit bowl, over the side and down the gap between the cupboard and the cooker........ at which point I had to disconnect said cooker to pull it out and remove the biscuits, before the mob went through the front of it!  Yes, I switched off the gas first and did it very sensibly!

Tonight I have finished the scarf I was knitting for a Christmas present..... okay, so I didn't actually buy the yarn till the new year, but it's done now and only 6 weeks late... I shall send it with the postal fairies early next week and hopefully the recipient will get some use of it before spring arrives!   I should really get on with new baby's jumper..... though the last time I promised to do a baby jumper for a new born was just over four years ago...... and the "baby" is still waiting......

I think it is time to retire with a book now....... and then tomorrow I have a short story to write and housework to tackle before apparently the snow returns..... but as it's nothing like the people in parts of the US and Canada have at present I shall refrain from being typically British and moaning about the weather!

Feeling completely "meh" ...

I'm bored

Completely, utterly, totally and terminally bored

Bored with work, bored with my home life (if you can call it a life), bored of winter, even at some points bored with reading.

And I haven't got a clue what to do about it.

I feel like I want to make some major changes with just about everything in my life, but then I just kind of falter because I haven't got a clue how to start making them.  There are things I want to change that are just totally out of the question, there are things I would love to change but I haven't got a clue how to and there are things I could probably change but am just too damn scared to actually do anything about it.

So instead, I stay stuck in this stupid rut of get up, sort critters, go to work, come home, sort critters, read/knit/write and then go to bed only to start it all over again... with the exception at the weekends when I miss out the work bit and get to do laundry and housework instead.

Looking at friends at work who are all in their early 30's I see them all with friends, families, lives.... Then I look back thinking what the hell have I actually done in the ten years since I was about there age..... and realise I have absolutely fuck all to show for it.... in fact, I could go back further and say 20 years without stretching the point.

It's not even as though I feel like I've failed at life...... more that just I haven't got a life........I can't even remember when I did last have one (or at least one of my own that wasn't manipulatively controlled by someone else)

It's not like I can't be organised and dynamic and go do things for myself..... I am just failing right now to see the point.

Oh well, I'd best not break the cycle of boredom, time to go to bed so I can be up for work in the morning.......

I hope the arrival of spring comes early and these feelings turn out just to be seasonal.......

Snow Day.....

very fuzzy photo of my back garden this morning

I didn't get to work today.... we had 19 cm of snow overnight and it was impossible to get out onto our road.....(and yes, I know, this is nothing snow wise compared to some people but for us it's serious!).... so I had a snow day

Well I didn't, because I took work home on Friday just in case this happened... so I have instead sat at my kitchen table and drafted really horribly tedious documents all day *snore*

(I did have a small break in the afternoon when I felt my head would explode, in order to finish the book I was reading, but then got frustrated as the author will use the
word "hafta" instead of "have to" which drives me nuts!)

The dogs weren't impressed and kept looking at me in disgust wondering when I was going to go away.

The snow isn't showing any signs of melting, in fact we are down to -5 degrees this evening..... but tomorrow I intend to be bravely optimistic and scare the neighbours by trying to get the car out to go to work.

In the meantime, to cheer myself up this evening I've booked my place at the UK GLBTQ meet.... go me!!  Now I have something fun to look forward to as I wish spring would arrive faster

Four letter words...

Rude ones... or at least impolite ones... I have been uttering them since it started snowing here as I left for work (actually I have been uttering them all day thanks to a colleague leaving without notice and some of her work being dumped on me to sort out this morning).  The weather forecasters have been promising us that the Snowpocalypse is on its way... but that wasn't meant to start till at least half way through tomorrow....... this is the UK folks, the Snowpocalypse will result in about 4 cm of snow and shut the entire country down......

That said, the road I live on is made of brick.... which when you add snow and temperatures of -5 means it's an ice rink so getting out to work tomorrow is going to be, erm, fun.... I may slip about a bit but I shall get there... my neighbours are apparently quite impressed with my determination and driving skills when it's icy

I am told that uttering four letter and other impolite words is not a good habit to have ......... alas there are some things that only good old Anglo-Saxon expletives can really fully express...

The other four letter word that blights my life at present is diet....... I am on one, kind of..... I had already given up caffeine and am trying to eat healthily...... then my Macmillan Nurse suggested I might want to give up yeast products to help prevent my leg flaring up again (apparently because I am going to be prone to bacterial infections it will help)... this "suggestion" translated very clearly to "you will".... so bye bye yeast products...... which means no bread!

Now as I've said before when deciding that I was going to become decaffeinated..... I can't do moderation... it's not that I have no will power... I am sure I do... somewhere....it's just easier and makes more sense to go cold turkey.... which means in terms of healthy eating, that gone from my diet are all yeast breads (thank goodness for pita bread and wraps), any cake type things, anything with pastry, all chocolate, sweets, ice cream etc... and most cheeses... at least all the interesting ones!

I've never been a fan of processed food, and having been vegetarian for so long it's not that difficult to eat healthily if I stay focused on it and don't get lazy... which is where I usually fall down.  It's going fairly well so far... 2 weeks in and I am not bored with it and haven't given up...... I have no idea if it's making a difference only time will tell.

Which brings us to another reason for me cursing a lot about the snow.... I have to get to work tomorrow I've a dozen chocolate cup cakes with vanilla frosting on the side in the kitchen for a colleague's birthday... and if I don't go to work temptation may get the better of me!

In which normality returns.......

Or as near as dammit as we get to normal round here!

Today was back to work day...... which meant last night I went to bed at my normal time...... couldn't sleep so I read for a while.... then tried again..... and again....... and got up at 1.30 am, let the dogs out pottered about a bit, then tried to go to sleep again.... I then managed that fitful kind of sleep where you aren't deep enough asleep and every blessed noise wakes you... by the time I got up at just after 5 am I was wondering why I'd even bothered trying......So after sorting the critters I went back to the sofa thinking I'd just dose until 6.30 am when I had to get up and start getting organised... only to be woken by the alarm out of a very deep sleep feeling totally disorientated!  Such a good start!

Work was, well, work.... I have quite a lot of stuff booked in for the next few weeks.... including a hearing next Monday, which I tried to pass off to one of the advocates in the team only to be told that given I was now qualified I could do it myself .... grrrr...... not impressed!!

To cheer myself up I booked some days off - a couple around Easter weekend and some in July for mum's 75th birthday and for the UK GLBTQ Romance Writers and Readers event... now I have the days off I have to pluck up the courage to sign up for it (though alas only as a day visitor not for the whole weekend) .... and then I have to find the guts to actually go!

On a positive note, I promised myself I would start making much more of an effort with my lunches... rather than grabbing fruit and yoghurt from home and then realising this is not enough and attacking the vending machines.... so today there was cous cous and veggies (tomorrow there is pasta salad)..... I did point out to my team leader who was admiring my lunch and bemoaning her soggy tuna sandwich that she shouldn't get too excited my usual (lack of) organisational skills will probably kick in by the middle of next week!

Hope this evening involved sofa surfing with the Kindle as I had bugger all energy to do anything else.... and now it's nearly bed time....... and I've just discovered the new nightshirt that I got for Christmas has a little breast pocket in it (complete with little purple button)... which begs the question why?  It's only a tiny little pocket, I don't think it could hold much...... suggestions welcome though...

And now I must go, because Gina has just managed to throw her ping pong ball down the stairs to the dogs domain and it needs to be retrieved...... I am such a well trained human!!

General ramblings ....

Well I was going to update yesterday.... but I, erm, caught my foot on the wire to the electric heater in the study..... then kind of fell over the heater itself..... finally landing in an oh so ungraceful heap on the floor and slightly bashing the side of my head on the wooden chair I use when I am at the computer..... so I didn't update, I took it as a sign and went to bed....... This morning I woke to a slight singe on my right shin and a rather impressive bruise just to the side of my right eye...... I would add that during the whole falling over process Hugo watched with some amusement from the top of the door and then used me as a trampoline before I could get up.....

So, aside from being a klutz, what else have I been up to....

Well, last night I was going to blog about my eyebrows.... no seriously.... the thing is I don't really do the whole eyebrow plucking thing... okay sure, they are kept neat and I make sure there are two of them but that's about it...... except when I am stressed..... when I have a bad habit, well not even really a habit, as it's done totally unconsciously, of plucking my eyebrows the way a stressed cage bird would pull out it's feathers..... okay, so... I have passed my exams, I am enjoying a week off work when the office is mainly shut so nothing can go wrong, my leg is getting better, the critters are all fine, the family are doing well.... so why the hell did I manage to sit the other night and rip out most of my right eyebrow and pretty much half of my left??  I didn't even realise I'd done it till I got in the car on Saturday morning and looked in the rear view mirror... I look moth eaten.....  I've done some tidying up but, meh, they look terrible, thank goodness I can hide them behind my glasses till they grow back!

Today has mostly been about prep for mum's Christmas Eve party.... I am on salads again, and puddings.... for which I made and iced cup cakes this afternoon....  They are cherry cupcakes and have almond frosting and a cherry on top, which was mum's suggestion as they will look like Rudolph's nose......... only they don't they look like boobs with large red nipples....... which has given me the giggles all afternoon and there is no way on earth I will keep a straight face tomorrow handing out nipple buns to the kids who come to the party...

Tomorrow I am on taxi duty as my sister isn't driving at present.... we are off out to the farm shop to pick up the chicken for Christmas dinner (and something from the veggie deli for me) and then to get the last few bits of fresh veg, bread and make sure that we are well  stocked up on critter food....oh and I've been promised a gingerbread latte (decaf of course!) for my services!  Then in the afternoon I have to make the dreaded meringue for Christmas day and scribble like mad to finish a ficlet I am hoping to do as an extra present for someone..... I shall be so busy I won't have time to accidentally pluck anything else.....

Adventures in baking...

One thing our family have always done is made sure for big occasions no one person is left to do everything. Which means at Christmas the cooking always gets shared out... not just for the day itself, but for mum's Christmas Eve open house party... (and I have warned my sister's other half as it's his first year that mum will have already told "everyone" going all about him ..... she did it with me, though I am sure that was partly because she wanted to watch people's reactions to the fact that I would be bringing my girlfriend... *rolls eyes* .... I know, I know, I really am grateful for my parents, but my mother is sometimes a little too proud of having a lesbian daughter....)

For some reason, puddings and deserts always falls to me.... and as we don't do traditional in our house I am going to be preparing all three of my short-listed deserts this weekend.

There will be.... Hazelnut and Chocolate Meringue Roulade or Chocolate and Cardamom Cheesecake or possibly Apple & Plum Tart in Cinnamon sweet pastry.... the two that don't win the Christmas dinner vote I'll make again for Christmas Eve..

Now the first two I have recipes for or at least as near as dammit make up the bits that don't quite fit as you go along kind of recipes.... the last I just thought sounded like it would work..... I've started the filling off overnight by putting the apples/plums/sugar into the slow cooker (crock pot for those reading this not in the UK) and have made up the pastry.... it's only been going for about 30 minutes but it already smells rather nice...

Erm.... I might also have possibly sliced my finger a bit.... I didn't actually realise it at first as having no heating in and the fruit I was cutting having just come out the fridge my fingers when rather cold and white.... sitting in the lounge a bit later in front of the fire my circulation came back and, well, my finger decided to leak quite a bit...... it's safely under a plaster now....

Apparently in my baking weekend my sister wants me to produce bags of cookies for her Christmas Sale at the University to raise money for the prize her department awards to the student statistician with the highest exam marks in memory of their colleague who died last year..... looks like it might be a very busy weekend in the kitchen.... I must try not to blow anything up.... or burn anything.... or damage myself any more.... at least the first aid box is well stocked.......

So, it is....

Four weeks to Christmas Day.... and I am wholly disorganised and haven't got a clue what I am getting for most people, those who have been promised knitted items may get them for Beltane....

At least most of the immediate family presents are done.... that is to say they are in the shopping baskets at Amazon, Hotel Chocolate, Lush and Yankee candles... roll on pay day at the end of the week and I can get the orders submitted.... really must go find something for my father mind and get it sent off.

There is only one week to get post out for Christmas that is going down to Australia or New Zealand and only another week after that for USA post... thankfully European post can wait a bit longer.... which is good as I haven't even bought cards yet... this weekend... gonna have to get organised.

More importantly... much more importantly really.... there are now less than four weeks before the Winter Solstice and the turn of the Earth ready for the days to start getting longer again with the hope of a new year.

In all the mad panic of Christmas commercialism it's nice to have something else to focus on  that is a lot calmer and more in tune with nature and the earth.  I am looking forward to banishing the winter spirits and moving out the dark half of the year more than ever as it's been a very long cold and wet final quarter of the year.  Maybe as the new lunar year starts it will bring a more peaceful and balanced time for everyone.

Further tales from Mr Hugo’s House of Grooming…

My cats are strange …. which if you’ve read any of this blog in the past you’ll know already… you may also recall that Hugo has a fascination for all things related to human grooming and hair care….(unlike his mother whose only contribution is to eat the “hair spiders” that I remove from the comb to make herself sick…. revolting creature!)

Hugo’s biggest grooming fads (well until this morning) are to comb my hair… which usually happens as I am trying to get to sleep…. he perches on my back, extends his claws and drags them through my hair…. if I don’t react he will continue with this, getting more and more into it until he gets carried away and sticks his claws into my head…. at which point he usually gets turfed off the bed…

The other thing he does is to pluck my eyebrows …. he will place his paws either side of my eyes (at which point I tend to either lie very still or remove him straight away depending on how awake I am) and then gently with his teeth pull out individual eyebrow hairs…. well hair… I am not big on the whole eyebrow plucking thing anyway, and done by the cat is just freaky as well as painful!

He’s also very partial to hair dye…. Not sure why, I am sure that the horrible ammonia/chemical smell of it would put any normal cats off and keep the far away… but no, not Hugo…. The closer he can get the better… though I have learnt my lesson and when my hair dye is developing he is not allowed to sit on my shoulder … (as an aside – have you seen the tattooed sphynx cats on the net? I am pretty sure it’s not a permanent tattoo they put on them, but really, no, too weird, even for me)… I do have to put the packaging from the hair dye straight in the bin as he has in the past ripped open the box to get to the left over chemicals.

This morning however I discovered that he has got over his fear of the hair dryer…..it, along with the vacuum cleaner, used to send him and his mother scurrying under the nearest duvet… alas not anymore! Now I am not one for usually drying my hair… its combination of not having time in the morning, having boring straight hair that doesn’t really require styling and, erm, my ability to blow up hair dryers… I mean seriously, they are such fragile things, you have them on for a couple of minutes and they are either smoking on the back end, going bang and tripping the electrics or setting themselves alight, and trying to take the carpet with them…..  I am sure it really isn’t just me that can make them do this!

Usually I will only bother drying my hair if it is freezing outside and I am going to have to go scrape ice off the car (frozen hair defrosting as you sit at the desk in the office is seriously unpleasant) but today, what with the cold, I decided what they hell I had time I might as well take the worst of the water out my hair. 

So as I flipped myself upside down (no not my whole self, just my head, be sensible here), switched on the dryer .... and was joined by Hugo… who kept trying to pull the hair dryer down towards him… so I blasted him to get rid of him, a bit of hot air, totally harmless……. Only it didn’t get rid of him… he basked, he tarted about under the hot air, he scratched all down my hand when I tried to go back to drying my hair……. after a small battle of wills, which was only partially won when I stood up… he refused to be defeated though and climbed up my back onto my shoulder…. I got my hair dry (ish)… I left the stupid cat curled up around the hot hair dryer impatiently tapping the end of it with his paw….. I did turn unplug it from the socket.

A day in the germ filled life...

Okay, so if I had any common sense (or anyone with the ability to make me see reason) I probably wouldn't have gone into work this morning seeing as I am particularly full of the lurgy..... but hey, I had 2 days off last week (yeah, I know, I had an exam, but hey, work doesn't stop for that) and I have a team to supervise, and other people to be and... and... and... etc.... so yeah, I went to work.........

I coughed, sneezed and croaked my way through the morning.... at one point being told that I sounded a bit like Darth-Vader...... they still wouldn't let me have a light sabre to play with mind..... I had a major guilt attack in the afternoon, nothing to do with work but rather that I'd got someone into trouble.... I am assured I am being silly I shouldn't feel guilty and that all is fine...... this didn't stop me from dwelling for a bit until I managed to get a grip by repeating to myself "I am not responsible for other peoples choices and actions," a few times...... I wrote it down when I got in and stuck it on the wall over the kitchen table so that every time my conscience twinged I could read it and get myself to put it into perspective......... I do have problems with an over developed guilt system and an inability to let things go, but given the reassurances provided I am trying my best to with this.

So come home time from work I wheezed my way to the car park (passed the 5 empty disabled parking spots in front of the office - which bugs the hell out of me, particularly on days like this).... only to find a large crowd of people around the machine where you pay to get out.

And this is where all semblance of tact and diplomacy left me and sarcasm rather took over.  As I leant against the door feeling rather washed out and pathetic some suited cretin (I probably work with this guy but it's a large company ....) was ranting into the speaker thing you press to get help.. Apparently his card had been rejected and he had been told to drive to the barrier and pay there.... obviously the help desk in deepest darkest Peru (okay, probably not, but I've no idea where they live.... possibly they are very small people who actually live in the ticket machines??) didn't know that a few weeks back the facility to pay at the barrier by card had been taken out...... so said cretin's car was now parked at the barrier holding everyone else who had paid and could get out up..... cos no, he didn't have the sense to back it into a spare space whilst he sorted it out.

The guy was downright rude to the person trying to help him, so much so that I wasn't at all surprised when he hung up on him....(I nearly applauded but managed to hold that one back) the suited guy was at this time cursing out the bodiless voice, the staff of the car park, probably their owners and the colony of stray cats on the 9th floor (nah, there probably isn't one, I've not been up that far though so I wouldn't swear to it).... and better still... he wouldn't let anyone else use the machine........I did suggest that perhaps he'd reached his credit limit  on his card which went down like a lead balloon......

Eventually a car park worker came to help him..... leading him away to get him to pay at the kiosk inside... but non one else in the queue moved.... by this time, nearly 20 minutes of standing around in the cold was starting to get to me and I quietly asked (it's related to the sarcasm, if I get quiet and more sarcastic it's a pretty safe bet that tact and diplomacy have legged it and I'm about to blow) whether anyone intended to pay for the car park and, you know, go home?

The sour mouthed woman towards the front of the queue turned on me and started having a go at me about how she had no intention of paying now only to find herself stuck in the queue of cars waiting to go out and the time from paying to exiting expiring so she had to pay more.  Fine says I, but I have a day pass with a fixed price and I would rather sit in my car, so if she'd excuse me.... oh the look I got.... apparently that was queue jumping and I could just wait my turn......

I was quite proud of the fact I didn't call her on her attitude..... I did however, ignore her and mutter something about being unwell whilst stalking (well stomping really) past her, wapping card and money into the machine and flouncing through the door.... by the time I'd got to my car and to the barrier there was no queue and stupid woman was only just coming through the door having just paid....... I kind of hope that waiting might have pushed her time up to the next payment bracket.......

I have done nothing much this evening, a bit of reading and some relaxing whilst bemoaning, silently by text cos talking hurts, the fact that I am freezing but can't eat anything hot as it feels like it's taking the skin off my throat........ hot lemon is bad at the best of time but luke warm lemon is truly revolting......... fingers crossed I can beat this cold in the very near future........ the next germ that comes near me I am going to take out with a mallet!

The weekend by numbers...

1.  I did it, I was examinated, it is over and done with... results mid-December... bugger all I can do about them so I am refusing to worry.  When I got home, did I celebrate my freedom from academia after 3 long hard years?  Did I have a drink or three to get over the exam stress?  Did I go paint the town red (well pale pink, I'm old and not that energetic)?  Nope, none of the above, I took lots of cold cures and went to bed early.... I really am an old woman at times!

2.  Saturday started ridiculously early with the realisation that in fact I couldn't breathe .... no nothing drastic.... I have a heavy cold, so of course Gina is trying to aid my recovery (not) by lying in the crook of my neck, with her head resting heavily over my windpipe....The rest of the day was rather boring... I did some serious comfort reading .... and confirmed to myself that, why yes, I do in fact have a crush on a fictional character!.... not so unusual? well perhaps, only in this case object of said crush is male... which for me makes it a bit odd...... ah well, never mind, no one is going to have a problem with me taking him home and looking after him are they?? (though given his Top like tendencies this maybe a mistake on my part)

3.  Laundry happened at some point yesterday... cos clean clothes are a helpful thing for the working week.... only problem is.. lack of heating and wet clothes does not a happy mix make... upstairs in my house feels like a slightly damp laundrette.  I have the heater on in the book room to get things dry... the cats however think this is just on for them....

4.  I don't know about anyone else, but when I have a cold my lips tend to dry out and crack... they did this overnight but I didn't realise until after I'd reached out and drank the lemon squash I had by the bed.... erm... OUCH!!  really not to be recommended... I was very awake and cursing in seconds!

5.  I have no voice!!  The dogs think this is a wonderful thing as unless I can get my hands on something non breakable when they open their gobs that I can throw towards them they've realised I can do nothing to shut them up (usually I shout, well I don't, I just say "Gretchen" in a very loud and stern tone.... which works, well on all bar one dog.... okay, guess which... I tried it earlier and sounded like Kermit on Helium... not good!)

6.  I have been beta reading a story today (which I am really enjoying) but appear to be trying to eat my own body weight in satsumas as I do it...

7.  I had planned to do some baking as well today, but discovered when I bent down to put the oven on that going dizzy was possibly not a good thing to have happen to you when you are using an electric mixer, hot gas oven etc.... well particularly as this is me we are talking about.

8. I need to get rid of my germs before tomorrow... work is not a fun place at the best of times, though I suppose I can run a quarantine flag up the back of my chair and wheeze at people till they go away and leave me alone...... I shall have to find a friendly minion to answer my phone for me though... what a shame ;)

Friday evening waffling.....

This time next week, three years of hard work and my finals will all be over.... which is a bit of a sobering thought for someone that has a problem with completing things... this is something I have no choice in though so I am going to have to live with it.  Though the results of the exams won't come out until December so I will be in limbo for a while afterwards.

Talking to a friend this evening, in between the talk of babies, toddlers, badly behaved critters (more of which later) and knitting, we were coming up with ideas of what I can do with my free time.....Now I've said from about the start of this course that this will be it, I will not be doing any further studying... she however has doing various Open University courses over the last few years, some of which do sound tempting - I'd really quite like to do the medieval history course.... but then again, I have kind of had enough of studying.

I do need to think of something, as failing that I will end up taking work home to do in the evenings.... and as much as I could and in fact would spend my entire free time lost in my Kindle (well till it gave up and exploded... again) I should perhaps do other things to unwind.  I do have several knitting projects I need to get on with, and I have some story ideas I would like to get written (and I have been threatened with nagging if my mainstream YA series doesn't get it's second book in the very near future... bossy beta readers!)

That said, I've still a week to get through, and a fun filled week of revision it would be.  Tomorrow and Sunday are scheduled out into 3 x 2 hour blocks, with time off for grocery deliveries and laundry (I know how to have fun....), Monday night I will have revision free as I am always kippered when I get home from work on a Monday night.. more revision Tuesday and Wednesday night and then on Thursday I actually have an official revision day, by which I am hoping I will only be highlighting and cross checking.....oh and making sure I've directions to Leeds where I am sitting the exam.


Now hopefully the canine critters will be well behaved for the rest of the weekend.... they got a severe rollicking when I got home from work as the delightful little gits had emptied my kitchen bin all over the floor... it probably took me longer to clean up than it did for them to empty it.... I am just hoping there are no ill effects from the debris they have probably managed to eat.

The cats are being smug ... they always are when the dogs are in trouble, and I am in fact typing this with my head painfully tilted to one side as Gina is balancing on my left shoulder, purring in my ear, as she supervises my typing....... either that or she's getting revenge for me refusing to give her the Q-tip to play with this morning......

Random rambling......

Well twice in two days I've had to scrape ice off my car before going to work....... winter is obviously here..... I have to admit though I do enjoy cold dry days, particularly when it's sunny and there is just a bit of a wind that slightly stings your face (I could live without the whole not being able to feel the tops of my fingers mind)... There has been some nice dawn dog walks with the mob over the past few days, crunching over the fallen leaves and watching them dash about the park their breath steaming in the cold (except Gretchen, who has to stay on her lead as she sods off at the first opportunity and would leg it across three counties given a chance).... that said, it's lashing it down and blowing a gale this evening so tomorrow's walk may be (a) shorter and (b) wetter....

Yesterday morning I went to see the MacMillan Nurse Specialist to have my lymph nodes prodded... my stupid leg got measured, photographed and drawn on .... with thick black pen which I still can't wash off... because the lymph system got quite badly damaged with the infection that spread from my foot in August I am being fitted for a highly (un)sexy black compression stocking ... okay so it has a really swish silk lining but still....I got to try a wrist support made of the same material and, dear Goddess, it's going to feel like my leg has been severely squished....... Ah well, I am under strict instructions to do as I am told and wear the damn thing, and as I'd like my lymph system to kind of return to normal I guess I'd better behave.... just hope it's not too painful!


The revision continues....... and yes, that about sums it up.........well actually it didn't tonight, I needed a night off after working quite hard all weekend and yesterday afternoon.  Today was not a whole bundle of laughs at work as my team leader's last day is tomorrow and she is trying to tidy up what lose ends she can and what she can't she's dropping onto my desk to deal with....

Right, really need to have an early night....(though part of me wants to stay up and watch the US election unfold..... Even I got to vote today.... okay so it was only my postal vote for the local Police Commissioner elections but still, I get to say I voted *grin* ).... I was up far too late last night reading stories on line and woke this morning with that horrible feeling that I'd missed something and that something was horribly wrong somewhere or with someone......... Feeling seems to have gone now so sleep should happen..... that is if I can calm the cats down.... I'm not sure what is wrong with them this evening..... they are racing round like they're on speed... Hugo has just climbed into a big shopping bag that was lying on the spare room bed and then fallen off the bed whilst still wearing it ... he's currently kind of in/under it racing around the room whilst his mother pounces on it from the highest vantage point she can find....... and, oh yes, there goes the clothes airer....... best go extract him and pick up all my clothes... again......

My brain is too fried to think of a title for this post....

Okay, so revision... once I'd remembered how to revise - no seriously, I looked at my paperwork and the stuff that I'd pulled up on the screen to go through and my entire brain froze in terror and then went blank.....I think I sat there for a good 10 minutes staring at the wall and wondering how to even start before I found a method of going through things..... after that it wasn't so bad.

The subject material is dry, like Sahara Desert dry.... but I have read, written out lists, bullet pointed important bits, tried to digest some of the most boring things in the world.... and my head is now a swirly mess of case law and Civil Procedural Rules, with an added dose of essential topics such as contracts, proportionality and procedures......... I have post it notes in various colours marking very important things (and at one stage Gretchen but we won't go into that) I have slashed highlighter pen everywhere... there is a colour code... there might have been having the highlighter pens out slightly too long as I have a headache and can still smell the damn things even though I stopped using them a couple of hours ago.....

I just hope that some of the information I've tried to force in my brain sorts itself into some sort of order and stays where it's meant to be....

I did also discover two things........ firstly when you order your grocery delivery for between 8 and 10 am, knowing you are not going out and knowing there is bugger all in the house food wise.... that will be the day the grocery van breaks down and your shopping doesn't get delivered till 4 pm..... and, secondly, without central heating, or hell any form of heating, sitting still in your kitchen when it's only about 2 degrees outside results in you having to be creative about making it warmer........ it took some ingenuity to decide what I could do to warm up said kitchen, but you know, making the Christmas cake involves baking it for 4 hours.... after which I cooked baked potatoes for my tea.... which took the chill of just enough to keep me from freezing......

So, quite productive a day, but now I am going to comfort read to try and untangle my head... which yes, means reading Falls Chance Ranch for the umpteenth time....

An accident prone kind of day...

Or maybe things were just out to get me!

The day didn't get off to a good start, well being woken at 4.08 am by one of the dogs with their "urgent" bark is never a good sign.... so I was probably half way downstairs before I was actually fully awake, then, without turning the lights on ... which generally I don't at that time as increasing the light levels decreases the chances of me or any of the critters getting more sleep... I got the dogs out their night crates... which was fine till I got to Hopes, which has a sprung latch mechanism .... that I misjudged and trapped my little finger between it and the metal cage front... ouch!  There was some bouncing up and down whilst using creative language as I bustled the dogs out into the garden whilst telling them (and possibly me) to keep the volume down.....  little finger is a little bruised around the middle joint.....

I made it safely then through the morning to 7.45, when I got into the shower, forgetting that I'd had the bath mat up to clean the bath before bed the night before and hadn't checked that it had latched onto the now squeaky clean bath, queue my right leg twisting about as I was standing on it and trying to get the left leg over the edge of the bath without Hugo attacking my foot........ slightly jarred and bruised right knee where it hit the tap.....

I should be grateful I got to work safely by this point......

Anyway, as the day progressed it appeared that the stationary was in fact out to get me....... and my hands are, erm, decorated with plasters.... I have one on the fleshy bit at the bottom of the thumb on my left hand where a metal binder from a document bundle decided to slice into me whilst I was undoing it so I could get a document out to photocopy it....another is on the outside of my right hand where I managed to stab myself with the sharp pointy blade of the scissors I was using to get into the boxes containing the next file I was working one... and finally... and most painfully..... I have a tiny little paper cut on the tip of my right ring finger.... which hurts more than the rest put together and bled all over the desk........

My evening meal tonight was a vegetable bake, which involves lots of finely sliced vegetables in layers..... I elected to use the food processor to slice the veg... I thought using a knife might be tempting fate..... and having reclined on the sofa with my cup of calming herbal team I had hoped for a quite peaceful injury free end to the evening...... yeah, cos that didn't happen as Ivan managed to open the babygate into the hall whilst Hugo was still in there and as I scooted my chair backwards to leap after him and rescue, well one of them, I managed to send the cup flying from the table to the floor, where it shattered sending still rather too warm to be wearing it tea up my right leg.... and as I tried to herd the dogs out the way of the broken mug I managed to stand on one of the pieces......

I think that I shall declare today officially over and go hide in my nice soft comfy bed with my paperback copy of Tigerland which arrived this afternoon........ I should be safe from further injury...... well unless I move my feet in a way Gina and Hugo don't approve of that is.....

A question of timing....

Summer is officially over.... given that we changed time zones at 2 am this morning from British Summer Time back to Greenwich Mean Time.... or in other words for almost everyone else in the UK they got an extra hour in bed this morning...  I say almost everyone else, because I am pretty sure there will be other people who like me own critters who do not understand the concept of someone sneaking an extra hour into their night and mucking up the daily routine.

In an effort to combat what I knew would happen I stayed up till midnight last night and let the dogs out then before putting them to bed.... did they sleep in... did they hell.... 4.30 am (new time) and they are bouncing up and down in their crates making hopefully yipping noises.... I was unimpressed....... a quick nip out into the garden as opposed to a full walk and I put them back to bed again... which lasted all of another hour....at which point I gave in and got up to walk them.

I've had a running battle all afternoon with them in that every time I went near the fridge after about 4 pm they leapt at it hopefully expecting chicken wings to fly out into their gobs.... I held off till 5.30 pm - by which time the cats were also threatening mutiny.  We've had a repeat performance at bed time... when they've paced and glared at me from what they think should be the right time to go out and into their night crates... thing is I don't want to be up at stupid o'clock in the morning tomorrow.

It usually takes them a week to adjust to the time change......... and me about, oh, 5 months of doom and gloom as I walk them in the dark in a morning, go to work in the dark, come home in the dark and never see daylight aside from through a glass window... I am seriously considering applying to be re-classified as a creature that hibernates through the winter......