So that was 2012.... what next....

2012.... a year in which:
I learnt that I really don't do being poorly,
I became very familiar with being stuck on the sofa,
My parents health both had wobbles, mum now being fine, but dad still continues to deteriorate
My sister found a new partner and one year on they are still going strong
I didn't manage to electrocute myself (despite several near misses with the kettle, heater and light fittings),
I discovered that my destructive powers extended to my Kindle (but limited it to 3 replacements over the course of the year)
I spent far too much money on e-books
I spent far too much time reading said e-books
I took the plunge and wrote a story for more than just myself by taking part in LiAW
My internet friendships grew and provided me with some excellent memories, advice, support and parcels :)
oh yes, and I finally got my professional qualification.

So as I sit hear listening to some premature fireworks signalling the arrival of 2013 what am I hoping for....

That my mother continues in good health as she approaches her 75th birthday in the summer - and of course continues to embarrass me whenever she can!
That my dad's condition stays as stable as possible, or that if he does deteriorate then it happens quickly and without pain
That my sister and her partner's relationship continues to grow from strength to strength
That my friends who are pregnant have swift and safe deliveries of their expected daughters (who knows, the latest half daughter might get something hand knitted before her first birthday....)
That I continue to have a job and a roof over my head
That my critters behave themselves (yeah, I know, optimistic)
That my friendships, both online and in real life, continue to grow and flourish and that I can give back to my friends even part of what they give to me
That my leg continues to heal and there are no more set backs
That I can pluck up the courage to do more with my writing this year and in particular to join in and go to the UK GLBT writers and readers weekend in July

And with that, all that is left is to wish anyone reading this a happy and peaceful new year and all the best for 2013

Books I read in December....

A day early, but I wanted to do some totals and favourites tomorrow (well whilst everyone else is out enjoying New Year's Eve I shall be at home with the critters due to an excessive amount of fireworks!)

So, this month I have read...

1.     Papa’s Boy – Sue Brown 

2.     Country Mouse – Amy Lane - It took me ages to get into this one, I am not sure why but just something didn't gel the first couple of times I tried to read it, got there eventually though and really enjoyed it

3.     Shying Away – Kate Sherwood

4.     Blind Items – Kate McMurray

5.     Diplomacy – Zahra Owens - This probably has to be one of my favourite books this month

6.     Sorcerer’s Knot – Tali Spencer

7.     Silver/Steel – Belinda McBride - I really enjoyed Blaque/Bleu so was pleased to see a sequel, unfortunately I found it a little muddled and quite rushed towards the end

8.     Reclaiming Love – V. L. McElfresh (December’s pick it for me choice)

9.     Aaron – J P Barnaby - This is again one that sat on my Kindle for a while before I read it.  I loved the story line and was so glad to see that the author didn't go down the "magical healing penis" trope to give it a HEA.... this one could only have a HFN ending given what the MC had been through, his age etc.  Also had a good supporting cast of characters.

10.  Domestic Relations – K-Lee Klein

11.  The Long Way Home – Z. A. Maxfield

12.  An Isolated Range – Andrew Grey - I enjoyed this series to start with but they are all becoming a touch formulaic now

13.  Marked Yours – Elizabeth Noble

14.  Vanilla Free Christmas (manlove edition) – various - Meh - just don't even go there

15.  Bound by Honour – S. E. Jakes

16.  The Condor – Isa K - this was a freebie I picked up and enjoyed, the MC (first person dialogue) has a snarky sense of humor and for a very long story it moves along quite quickly.

17.  Naked Tails – Eden Winters 

18.  Beaten – Sean Michael - I had high hopes, it seemed to have a plot.... then it turned into the typical things to be expected from the author/series

19.  In the Red – Kari Gregg

20.  Luke’s Present – Sue Brown

21.  Half Moon Chambers – Harper Fox - This author's writing is exceptional, sadly I think I read too many crime novels/police procedurals from other UK authors, not to mention working in the legal field, which meant a couple of technical things pulled me out of the story

22.  Lorcan’s Desire – S.J.D. Peterson (r)

23.  Quinn’s Need – S.J.D Peterson (r)

24.  Ty’s Obsession – S.J.D Peterson (r)

25.  Connor’s Courage – S.J.D Peterson

26.  Jess’s Journey – S.J.D Peterson - Another series I really enjoy, I also read the short (Riveted) on Good Reads - looking forward to reading the series that will branch of from Ty's story and the short.

27.  Frat House Troupers – Xavier Mayne - I read this on Literotica a couple of years ago, post editing it is slightly more polished, the main storyline has been done before but the characters make this, particularly the supporting characters of Nestor and Bryce.

28.  Room at the Edge – Jane Davitt - I was really pleased to see a follow up to Room at the Top, and it didn't disappoint at all.... and well.... fire play... for a happy little pyromaniac this was a huge plus :)

A "relaxing day" as only I can have.....

After only two days back at work I was so tired last night that I fell asleep on the sofa at about 6.30 for a couple of hours.... then spent half the night awake, thinking very random thoughts, unable to get back to sleep.  I eventually gave up and got up at about 4 am, let the dogs out and then dozed with them on the sofa till about 9 am.....

It's been raining pretty solidly the last 3 days and I was feeling very creaky so phoned mum and told her I wasn't going to be coming to visit as I wanted a nice quiet relaxing day at home........ or at least that was what I was hoping for...

It started well, I did some reading, pottered round the kitchen, put away the supermarket delivery and then about 3 pm wandered through to the lounge.  Fire on and NCIS marathon, book if needed, yep I was all set.... well for about 90 minutes till the dogs wanted their dinner.

I put them in the kitchen, threw wings at them and then shut the door on them to go up and see to the dietary requirements of the felines.... nipped on the net for 10 minutes and then went back downstairs.... let the dogs back out the kitchen and herded them towards the lounge.... where Hugo flew over the baby gate towards us and landed right in the middle of the dogs!

Cue bedlam....... Now I know that Ivan will attack and possibly kill if he catches a cat, so he was my main concern... I managed to scruff him and stuff him back into the kitchen.... only Hugo went through too and ran a circuit or two around the work tops, table and cooker before landing on the floor amidst the dogs again ... they chased him out and at one point had him cornered in the hall.  Again I extracted Ivan and got him back in the kitchen, by which time the girls were all running around frantically in the hallway, leaping up and down and generally being very excitable.... but no sign of Hugo, so I assumed he'd gotten away over the baby gate and back upstairs........ wrong!

I let Ivan out, only to have him leap onto the night crates they sleep in which are under the stairs.... he then got behind the storage boxes that have their towels and spare bedding in.... at which point I realised Hugo was in fact wedged at the back of the crates...... extraction process commenced again, with the girls herded into the lounge behind one gate, Ivan unceremoniously scruffed and dropped over the kitchen baby gate, and then Hugo safely gathered in from where he was wedged......... one quick once over of a furious and extremely stressed cat revealed no serious injuries, but he then proceeded to pee all over me....I have some minor scratches to my hands caused as he flung himself over the bannister to rush upstairs.......

The dogs went to their crates for an hour whilst I calmed down.......

I've since checked everyone over and the damage is as follows:

Ivan - limping on both front legs where he's got cat bites across the lowest joint on one side and a small hole in his pad on the other
Gretchen - small claw mark by her right eye
Kammi - ripped ear (sheesh they don't half bleed)
Hope - nothing at all except a confused look (she actually gets on with the cats and plays with them)

I have cleaned wounds, applied antiseptic and arnica (and thrown antibiotics into Ivan)..... there has been no sympathy or bed time biscuits though.

As for Hugo.... aside from needing a bath quite desperately he's a couple of scratches that have taken some pigment off but nothing that has broken the skin....... he's still a bit skittish but is currently curled up on my hip occasionally purring, so I am guessing he's getting over it.

So much for a nice quiet relaxing day........

So that was Christmas....

Tis all over and alas I must go back to work tomorrow

*stamps feet and throws hands around dramatically*

Don't want to!!

So, Christmas Eve.... mum's party was great fun and as usual I spent most of my time acting as bar person, guide to the edibles and finder of suitable things for children to eat..... which brings us to the nipple buns...  I hadn't actually planned on telling anyone bar my sister about how said buns had been making me chuckle and why.... only she told mum...... who then decided to have a guessing game of "what are these meant to represent" with nearly everyone....... the funniest comments being from her cleaner who got the whole boob reference... at which point his partner declared that in fact he should not know anything about how they looked like boobs/nipples as he hasn't really had the experience with them.... to which my mother calmly pointed out that I made them and that to be honest I was probably, out of everyone in the room (at that point, one gay couple, two straight women, one about to be rather shocked elderly het couple and me) the expert on boobs so should know.......... I should be used to my mother by now, but really!

Christmas Day was spent at my sisters, and after home made chocolate croissants and decaf coffee there was present opening and much amusement .... I then ran away for peace, tranquillity and emergency chocolate at home for a couple of hours... oh okay, I went to check on the critters.  I went back later for a lovely lunch involving far too many vegetables..... the hazelnut and chocolate meringue went down very well and has been asked to feature at future events.....  For some reason my sister changed the rules regarding washing up in her house (usually we don't wash up in each other's houses... it stems from the fact that my mother although willing to wash up is in fact really bad at it and you have to rewash half of it....  personally I think she did this on purpose).... this year it was decreed that I could wash up.... which I did..... though only after causing much amusement when each time I sidled along my sister's extremely narrow galley kitchen I had to stop every three paces to detach my knicker elastic from the handles of the kitchen doors.....

Today I took things very easily this morning and then went back to my sisters for a few hours this afternoon where we did jigsaws, read and finished up some of the left overs.

And now I have to get ready to go back to work tomorrow.....  I have a list of little bitty things that I never get round to normally to try and finish off before New Year so that is the plan..... well, aside from faffing about on the net and catching up on the gossip with the skeleton staff that will be working with me

Happy Christmas....

To all who read this, may you have a happy and peaceful festive season.

I hope you are all spending the time in warmth and safety with the ones you love.

May you all have a wonderful time.

With my very best wishes

*hugs*

K

General ramblings ....

Well I was going to update yesterday.... but I, erm, caught my foot on the wire to the electric heater in the study..... then kind of fell over the heater itself..... finally landing in an oh so ungraceful heap on the floor and slightly bashing the side of my head on the wooden chair I use when I am at the computer..... so I didn't update, I took it as a sign and went to bed....... This morning I woke to a slight singe on my right shin and a rather impressive bruise just to the side of my right eye...... I would add that during the whole falling over process Hugo watched with some amusement from the top of the door and then used me as a trampoline before I could get up.....

So, aside from being a klutz, what else have I been up to....

Well, last night I was going to blog about my eyebrows.... no seriously.... the thing is I don't really do the whole eyebrow plucking thing... okay sure, they are kept neat and I make sure there are two of them but that's about it...... except when I am stressed..... when I have a bad habit, well not even really a habit, as it's done totally unconsciously, of plucking my eyebrows the way a stressed cage bird would pull out it's feathers..... okay, so... I have passed my exams, I am enjoying a week off work when the office is mainly shut so nothing can go wrong, my leg is getting better, the critters are all fine, the family are doing well.... so why the hell did I manage to sit the other night and rip out most of my right eyebrow and pretty much half of my left??  I didn't even realise I'd done it till I got in the car on Saturday morning and looked in the rear view mirror... I look moth eaten.....  I've done some tidying up but, meh, they look terrible, thank goodness I can hide them behind my glasses till they grow back!

Today has mostly been about prep for mum's Christmas Eve party.... I am on salads again, and puddings.... for which I made and iced cup cakes this afternoon....  They are cherry cupcakes and have almond frosting and a cherry on top, which was mum's suggestion as they will look like Rudolph's nose......... only they don't they look like boobs with large red nipples....... which has given me the giggles all afternoon and there is no way on earth I will keep a straight face tomorrow handing out nipple buns to the kids who come to the party...

Tomorrow I am on taxi duty as my sister isn't driving at present.... we are off out to the farm shop to pick up the chicken for Christmas dinner (and something from the veggie deli for me) and then to get the last few bits of fresh veg, bread and make sure that we are well  stocked up on critter food....oh and I've been promised a gingerbread latte (decaf of course!) for my services!  Then in the afternoon I have to make the dreaded meringue for Christmas day and scribble like mad to finish a ficlet I am hoping to do as an extra present for someone..... I shall be so busy I won't have time to accidentally pluck anything else.....

Solstice Blessings....

The longest night has come once more,

the sun has set, and darkness fallen.

The trees are bare, the earth asleep, 

and the skies are cold and black. 

Yet tonight we rejoice, in this longest night, 

embracing the darkness that enfolds us. 

We welcome the night and all that it holds, 

as the light of the stars shines down. 

The sun returns! The light returns!

The earth begins to warm once more!

The time of darkness has passed,

and a path of light begins the new day.

Welcome, welcome, the heat of the sun,

blessing us all with its rays. 

(Traditional Winter Solstice blessings for sunset and sunrise)

Oh My!

Today was the day!

20 years after I originally went to university I was due to receive the results of the course I've been doing for the past three years, not just any course, no, a proper formal qualification that will do such exciting things as allowing me to have Rights of Audience in the Higher Courts, that will mean I can take oaths, that mean I am professionally qualified......

Last night was terrible. I had the most vivid dreams of failing badly.... in one of them I'd got 11%, which was apparently the lowest mark ever... I was the only person that failed in another.... I gave up shortly after 4.30 am and fed the dogs, then Ivan got groomed as there was no way I was going back to sleep.

By 10 am this morning I'd had text messages from two work colleagues, my mother, sister and one of my friends asking how I'd done...... but our post hadn't been.   I was told I could phone or e-mail for the results..... erm... no, hello, compete chicken here! not a chance!

The post eventually came just after midday (after a false start where someone else came to the door to try and persuade me to buy the local paper and have it delivered).... I don't think I've ever been so nervous as I was opening that envelope......which I did after sitting and staring hard at it for about five minutes......

I eventually opened it

and found out

That I'd passed.... both exams, the one I thought I'd done badly in with 83% and the practical, which I thought was the better of the two, at 70%.

So that's it, I am now officially professionally qualified to do my job.......... must be time for a career change *snicker*

I have to add though, special thanks to those friends on line who kept me going both before the exam and whilst waiting for the results... I would have been a complete wreck (rather than the partial one) without you!

Slightly less of the Bah Humbug....

It appears to be time for me to shed my outer Grinch and embrace the festive season....... for I have finished work today and don't go back until after the whole she-bang is over with.... I am working between Christmas & New Year (well just 3 days of it) again so that my colleagues who have young children or who have distant family can spend the whole of the festive period together.... I am not so bothered... as much as I love my family, there are limits on the amount of time I can spend with them and three full days (Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing day) are normally quite enough in one go for me!

So to try and embrace the festive feeling I went to my sister's to help her put up her tree.  Now, small disclaimer here.... I wasn't in her house when she tested the tree lights, therefore I had nothing to do with the fact they went "bang" and refused to work....... I arrived shortly after...... I don't think they knew I was coming..... anyway, my sister decreed she was going to the shop to pick up a new set of lights and suggested  that her other half and I should bring the tree in from the garden and set it into the base, carry it through to the lounge and place it ready for decorating.  Then she looked at us both, shook her head and said, maybe we should leave it..... we rebelled, by the time she got back the tree was set up and in place.... though not sufficiently straight for my sister's liking.

The new lights were wrapped round it (they flash and sequence and all sorts...... and I am banned from touching the controls on pain of death....... which is a little unfair I feel)..... after which we got on with decorating....... well, I got banished to the sofa after the first couple of minutes for throwing the snowball decorations at, erm, the tree, my sister, Mavis the cat....... and was allowed only to hand out the requested decorations when asked..... sometimes my sister is no fun!  It looks very pretty and the decorations are all red, silver or crystal.... my money is on Mavis taking at least half of them down before the big day.....

Tonight the last of my on line purchases arrived, which means tomorrow I shall battle with paper, scissors, ribbon, tape and cats to wrap up the presents for the family.  Wish me luck!!

I also have to finish a story I am writing about a whip wielding demonic sharply dressed lawyer and his two faithful imps ...... Rupert has some seriously weird ideas and my brain is happy to play along.  Hopefully the story will be ready to be gifted to a friend in time to be an extra Christmas present for her and her family :)

There is also unfinished knitting... but alas I fear this will remain unfinished till long after Christmas......

Okay, I think I'm ready to risk a seasonal mince pie now ....

Oh and my exam results should apparently be here tomorrow........ still not convinced I've passed but there is bugger all I can do about that now....

That Hope(less) dog....

I am sure there is an unwritten law known by all pet animals.... if you are going to do something stupid causing injury..... make sure the Vets is shut first....

This afternoon, shortly after I hit publish on the last blog post, I was still upstairs communing with the naked ones (well trying to persuade Hugo that bad things would happen if he leapt from the top of the study door onto my lap where his mother was enjoying a cuddle) there was a very loud cry of terror and pain from downstairs.....

Now my dogs can be quite vocal, but this was a definite "panic, panic, I'm in pain" type of cry....... not helped by the fact that it was shortly followed by at least one other dog growling and snapping......  It's amazing how fast I can get downstairs at times.....  I could see the problem as soon as I got to the bottom of the stairs..... somehow they'd managed to open the kitchen door (which I shut when I leave them in there) and Hope had made a bid for freedom over the top of the baby gate - something she's been doing since she was about 14 weeks old..... only this time she'd misjudged it and her back left leg had got stuck at the hock joint between the bars, leaving her front half hanging over the top of the gate and her right back leg flailing about in mid air.... Gretchen and Kammi, freaked out by the noises Hope was making, had decided something was terribly wrong and reacted in a way that dogs will and were attacking her trapped leg.

By the time I'd untangled her and hauled her the rest of the way over the baby gate her eyes were rolling and she was looking rather shocky.... her hock was also starting to swell quite badly.... I couldn't feel a break and the joint were stable (there are times when being a former vets assistant come in very handy) but getting the vet to check her over was on the cards.... so off we went... luckily my own vets have a weekend call out service and when I got to the surgery with her the vet on duty turned out to be the one I'd worked with in the past, so after a quick prod at her leg she confirmed what I thought, the silly dog has badly sprained her hock and is now on crate rest for a week with anti-inflammatory medication and no walks.......

Hope is not a happy dog right now, she's in pain and shut away from everyone... because I don't trust her for a minute not to try and jump even if it does hurt she's not even getting supervised time out of her crate for cuddles.... Gretchen has been sitting on my knee looking extremely smug for most of the evening.....             

Musing about anthologies...

I recently bought, and read, a couple of anthologies.  Now this is unusual for me, as I am not a big fan of anthologies..... which I think goes hand in had with me not being a huge fan of short stories (at least not when I have to pay as much for them as I would for a novella).....

Anyway, these were billed as being "kinky" Christmas stories........ which should suit be just fine..... now one anthology I did enjoy most of the stories... the other unfortunately was a reminder of exactly why I don't usually read them..... from 5 stories, 1 I enjoyed (and admittedly it was from an author whose work I've read before for free on Literotica so I know their style), 2 were okay at a push, the other 2.... well, I wondered how on earth they got into the anthology at all (in a sort of ... what really? did they not get any better submissions??)

And this is the problem..... in any anthology I find that for me there is always going to be at least 30% of the work in there that I just can't get on with..... which leads on to another problem......... and one which is probably in my mind..... but it's there anyway.... and that is that my LiAW story is going to be part of an anthology....

My story will be in the 5th volume.... along side stories by real, proper, popular authors....... my story! written, well scribbled, by me, a complete novice at this sort of thing...... My stomach kind of flips when I think about it... because yes, I am pretty sure that for a lot of the readers mine will be in that 30% giving readers a "WTF is this crap?" moment...... I suppose at least they can just skip it and at least it's free so they won't have wasted money on it....... 

I know it's probably just nerves.... after all the ratings it's had have been good..... but still... *sigh*

Right, I shall go off to brood some more, and stand by the phone waiting for my mother to call me.....she informed me yesterday she'd borrowed a couple more books - I recently lent her Tigers & Devils and Tigerland to read, she enjoyed them and wanted another of the same sort of thing.... trouble was she chose herself and is currently reading My Fair Captain..... I have a horrible feeling I am going to have one of those slightly squicky conversations involving me trying to explain the concept of fisting to my 75 year old mother......

Storm warning.......

Today should have been a good day....

I wasn't at work, I should have been going to see a friend and exchanging Christmas presents, I should have been having fun, doing last minute Christmas shopping and drinking flavoured (decaffeinated) coffee...... I should possibly have been celebrating my exam results (or drowning my sorrows)....

Nope, didn't happen.

Instead, I woke to find that I was stuck at home
Literally..... thanks to the rainfall onto frozen ground overnight which meant that the road resembled an ice rink.... and then when it warmed up enough to get out I had a doctors appointment..... deep joy, the 3rd different doctor I've seen in the last week.... this one obviously hadn't even read my notes to find out what I was there for so we went through the whole thing yet again..... and I have another fortnight's worth of antibiotics to take... that will be zero alcohol for me this Christmas....

I then had to go to the bank to sort out some financial stuff...... four years after moving here and nearly five since separating all my stuff from the ex and taking back control of my money and what do you know, it can still be stuffed up by someone else..... apparently she has sold the house we owned jointly (which subsequently was transferred to her) and had some problems with the mortgage on the new place...... and there had been some credit searches etc done on my accounts which had flagged up some issues.....I'm sorry but WTF??  I think we have finally got to the bottom of it all and made sure she's not mentioned at all on my credit scoring or history..... but it will probably be another 3 years before my credit rating is where it should be.....

I nipped round to my mothers after that.... and she took pity on me and fed me some lunch..... then had a go at me when I admitted that I hadn't actually eaten anything up to then (it was about 2 pm at this point)..... I am sure it's the drugs that are squashing my appetite, but apparently this matters not and I need to eat three proper meals a day.... including one in the morning....... She's probably right, but, meh, just not happening at the moment.

And on top of all of this....... I am still waiting for my exam results...... which should have been released earlier this week..... so it looks like it will be Monday at the earliest before I get them....... and I am starting to get really really twitchy about it all.

The upshot of all this is I am in a really tetchy mood...... I've shouted at the dogs, snapped at the cats and, erm, taken out my frustrations on a packet I couldn't open with a sharp knife..... and now have to go clear the kitchen sides of the broken pasta pieces that are currently decorating them......

This is one of the things I hate most about being single, not having someone there to listen, or who can tell me to pack it in when I am being really unreasonably mardy, or who can just give me a hug and tell me that things will sort themselves out and to stop worrying......

*sigh* right, I think I shall go put on the CD player far too loudly and sing very out of tune till I feel a bit less frustrated about life in general......

I hate waiting......

It's a pretty much established fact that I only have an extremely limited amount of patience.....and my tolerance levels were all used up thanks to being grounded on the sofa last week....

So, knowing that my exam papers were marked last Monday (3rd December).... because one of the guys I work with is in the marking group.... and being told that our results should be received this week..... I am now getting to the stage of being extremely anxious about the whole thing.

If I was able to walk properly on my stupid leg I'd be pacing.

As it is I am silently (and on some occasions not so silently) driving myself up the wall..... at times like this it's a good thing I live on my own with only the critters to roll their eyes at me when I start chuntering to myself or, erm, throwing things (it wasn't anything important).....

Okay, I am not 100% sure I've passed both exams, I am really hoping I've passed at least one of them.... but I'd really like to know.... like, well, now, please, if not sooner......

*resumes mental pacing*

Vague mumbling....

Hurrah! I am being released into the wild tomorrow........ okay, well not quite... I am being allowed to return to work on the strict understanding that (a) I do not walk more than 50 metres. (b) I pack it in and go home and rest if I feel at all unwell and (c) I do not over do it.......(anyone else starting to think that my doctor is perhaps getting to know me??)

Now (b) and (c) are not too much of an issue but (a) is as the nearest car park is well over the allowable walking distance........ and they powers that be decreed that outside the office parking is for visitors only (which means that the 5 disabled spaces sit empty for 99% of the time which really irks me).... anyway, work are obviously extremely pleased I am allowed back and have arranged for a taxi to get me to and from work for the next three days, which is wonderful of them... What is not so wonderful was in arranging said taxi my team leader managed to send my personal contact details on an e-mail to every single employee in our head office.........this I am not particularly impressed about as I don't think everyone should have access to where I live or my mobile phone number but then again, I am unlikely to develop a stalker from this and anyone that wants to burgle me know I am out, well, yeah, good luck with that one, cos rent a mob might let you in, but you ain't going nowhere once you're in......

So today I have pottered about a bit in an attempt to use my leg just a little bit...... which basically meant taking myself to mum's house and lurking on her sofa whilst I wrapped presents to go in the post.  They are all done now which is surprisingly organised of me.

I also picked up my candle order today.... not only my usual selection of particularly nice smelling Christmas type candles - such as cinnamon sticks, warm spices, cherries on snow and pure snow - but also my nice long tapered solstice candles for burning on the 21st onwards....... I have been quite traditional this year and got natural beeswax candles, which smell really nice.  The metal holders are out on the window ledge all ready and I am starting to feel quite festive...

I also bought a few candles to give away as presents, they may only be little things, but to me a candle is kind of a significant gift, particularly at the Winter Solstice as it lights the way forward into the new year.

Right, time to extract Hugo from the top of the door and head to bed to get a decent nights sleep before I have to remember what getting up at 6.00 am is all about..........

The view from the sofa....

Soooo, I last updated on, erm, I think it was Tuesday, when the leg of doom had gotten overexcited and I'd skipped off to the doctors for antibiotics.... but was spending the day on my sofa trying to feel better... and intermittently working on stuff that was left over from Monday.....

Let us move forward to Wednesday, when despite the fact I still hadn't eaten anything and I'd developed an interesting rash on my forearms, not to mention swelling on my finger and wrist joints, I decided that I was well enough to go to work.... and the parental taxi, very unwillingly I might add, agreed to convey me to and from my place of work....  Now in theory this wasn't a bad plan, I wasn't on the roads, I didn't have to walk further than the front of the building to the elevator and I could sit all day and work.... which I did... and slowly felt worse, and worse and worse.... I phoned the doctors in the morning and muttered that perhaps the rash was an allergic reaction to the meds and what was their suggestion.... answer, have an appointment after work.....

By the time I got to see the doctor I was feeling completely pants and in fact absolutely convinced that I was going to have to go to hospital for IV antibiotics...... I'd even put the emergency dog plan into place and my friend was primed to come pick up the hell hounds and take them away for the duration (brave woman that one!)......Suffice to say, yes, I was having an allergic reaction to the meds, but not the simple one that like 1 in 100 people get, no I had to go the whole way and have the reaction that 1 in 100,000 people get - namely my tissues and joints swelling - so I swapped for alternative drugs and was given strict instructions to return to my sofa until they kicked in........ it wasn't a pleasant 24 hours after that as my body seemed to wage some sort of war against itself (we voted in the end for it re-enacting it's own battle from the 12th Century English Civil War (Stephen v. Matlida) and somewhere definitely there had been a charge or two of heavy horses across my body....)

Which meant Thursday was viewed from the sofa......... as was Friday.......... which should have been a day's holiday spend doing festive things....... today has also been spent on the sofa........ the highlight of my day being the grocery delivery ...... which I looked at, put away and wondered if I was ever actually going to feel like eating again........ not sure if it's the drugs but I have no appetite at all... though I am drinking all the fruit juice in the world!

Most of my sofa time has been spent reading (okay, in the first couple of days there was an awful lot of sleeping going on too) but also watching ... or at least having on in the back ground.... any TV shows that I could find that didn't cause me to throw things at the TV.....

Which is a dangerous thing

As it made Rupert suddenly start twitching his whiskers

He feels that quite a good story could be concocted from the meeting of an older flamboyant well known celebrity archaeologist and a some what sedate but openly gay young police detective, who meet when the archaeologist's team are carrying out a dig at a medieval castle and come across a shallow grave which contains rather modern remains.... suffice to say neither character hits it off, the police have jurisdiction  the TV crew have permits and a deadline and a 10 year old missing person case has just become a murder investigation.......with the murderer still at large.......

And now I've dumped that out my brain hopefully the bunny from hell will stop pushing!

Ooooh, look how exciting... I can get off my sofa..... and get into bed...... this is getting old, very, very fast........

Relegated .....

To the sofa again!

Alas my leg decided, rather unexpectedly as it had been healing really well, to flare up on Sunday afternoon and by yesterday morning was rather horribly swollen and sore.

A quick trip to the doctors and yes, the cellulitis is back..... possibly of all things caused by the sore throat I had a couple of weeks ago.... which I had done as recommended by medical practitioners everywhere and not sought more than advice from the pharmacist because you don't need antibiotics for a sore throat..... apparently this isn't the case for me any more!  I had thought I'd got my temperature under control - but alas it was just under 39 degrees C last night... really must go find out what it is today...

So for starters I have 2 weeks worth of antibiotics ... which may then go on for another month or so.... it's a good job I am not bothered about not drinking alcohol as that will be out for the whole of the festive season!

I don't feel anywhere like as bad as I did in August the first time this happened, to the extent that I am bored out of my tree and had it not been for the small wobble of dizziness this morning I would have gone to work today.  Instead I have done a bit of work from home but am now on strict instructions to rest up.  Oh and I really should try to eat something as I haven't really eaten a proper meal since Saturday... which may have been a clue that I was coming down with something now I think of it!

Hopefully my Kindle is now recharged and I can go put my leg up and sofa surf for the afternoon...

Books I read in November

My reading was severely hampered by my exams (dammit!) in fact I didn't really read much for the first half of the month at all.....

1. Carpe Jugulum – Terry Pratchett (r) – I try to read something Halloween-ish every year, it was a toss up between two favourites, this one or Robin McKinley’s “Sunshine” this year.  This one won because I needed the humour and familiarity of the characters

2. Dex In Blue – Amy Lane
3. A Red Tainted Silence – Carolyn Grey – November pick it for me challenge – enjoyable book even if I did have to suspend my disbelief in places

4. Tigers and Devils – Sean Kennedy (r)
5. Tigerland – Sean Kennedy – I really love Simon’s voice in these books... pleased that it’s set up for a 3rd book if Aus pass marriage equality, but if that is the last we hear of Simon and Declan I will know they are quite happy with their lives...

6. Ricochet – Xanthe Walter
7. The Gravediggers Brawl – Abigail Roux
8. Sauntering Vaguely Downwards – Nessa Warin  - one of several books I picked up during the Dreamspinners’ October give away that I wouldn't usually have bought.... I hated the tense the book was written in but quite enjoyed the story ... the references to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s works kept me amused as I am a fan of both (particularly PTerry.... after all I am the person whose warped mind resulted in writing a cross over Discworld/Chalet School fic ..... don’t ask!)

9. A Knitter in his Natural Habitat – Amy Lane

10. Falls Chance Ranch – Rolf & Ranger (r)
11. Three Traders – Rolf & Ranger (r)
12. Mustang Hill – Rolf & Ranger (r) – these are rapidly turning into some of my favourite comfort reads... and were where I wanted to be in between some majorly heavy revision and whilst I had a horrible cold.

13. Ascendance – Lissa Kasey – this is the fourth in this series and the characters are continuing to develop and evolve... and although I am not really a vampire kind of person (okay, you know what I mean!) I really do like the way Gabe is portrayed (and hoping Sam will “grow-up” to be another interesting multidimensional character)

14. Nighttime Wishes – M A Church (r)
15. Nighttime Dreams – M A Church – I first came across MA’s writing on Literotica and fell in love with her series The Harvest (sadly no longer available), she does great snarky characters, tongue in cheek humour and likeable aliens ... with in this case tentacles...

16. This Old House – Sean Michael
17. Bound by nature – Cooper Davis
18. Hold Still – Megan Derr
19. Complete Faith – Sue Brown
20. Hajiri’s Pet – Auburnimp
21. Marathon Cowboys – Sara Black
22. A Matter of Time – Mary Calmes
23. The End of Innocence – John Good – this is the follow up to Tales of Foster High, again it’s YA, and there’s no happily ever after.  It’s gut wrenching in places but beautifully written.... and if you aren’t in tears by the end then the authors note will probably send you that way.

24. Sock it to me, Santa – Madison Parker – YA – very sweet short story.
25. The Stardust Diaries 2007 - Tarn Swan (which for some reason hasn't made it onto Goodreads yet...)

This month I’ve also re-read most of the Falls Chance Ranch short stories, Team Trials (which is a series which combines rugby players and domestic discipline – and a lot of humour) as well as numerous other short stories from lurking about the net.....

No clear outstanding best of for this month...  

Adventures in baking...

One thing our family have always done is made sure for big occasions no one person is left to do everything. Which means at Christmas the cooking always gets shared out... not just for the day itself, but for mum's Christmas Eve open house party... (and I have warned my sister's other half as it's his first year that mum will have already told "everyone" going all about him ..... she did it with me, though I am sure that was partly because she wanted to watch people's reactions to the fact that I would be bringing my girlfriend... *rolls eyes* .... I know, I know, I really am grateful for my parents, but my mother is sometimes a little too proud of having a lesbian daughter....)

For some reason, puddings and deserts always falls to me.... and as we don't do traditional in our house I am going to be preparing all three of my short-listed deserts this weekend.

There will be.... Hazelnut and Chocolate Meringue Roulade or Chocolate and Cardamom Cheesecake or possibly Apple & Plum Tart in Cinnamon sweet pastry.... the two that don't win the Christmas dinner vote I'll make again for Christmas Eve..

Now the first two I have recipes for or at least as near as dammit make up the bits that don't quite fit as you go along kind of recipes.... the last I just thought sounded like it would work..... I've started the filling off overnight by putting the apples/plums/sugar into the slow cooker (crock pot for those reading this not in the UK) and have made up the pastry.... it's only been going for about 30 minutes but it already smells rather nice...

Erm.... I might also have possibly sliced my finger a bit.... I didn't actually realise it at first as having no heating in and the fruit I was cutting having just come out the fridge my fingers when rather cold and white.... sitting in the lounge a bit later in front of the fire my circulation came back and, well, my finger decided to leak quite a bit...... it's safely under a plaster now....

Apparently in my baking weekend my sister wants me to produce bags of cookies for her Christmas Sale at the University to raise money for the prize her department awards to the student statistician with the highest exam marks in memory of their colleague who died last year..... looks like it might be a very busy weekend in the kitchen.... I must try not to blow anything up.... or burn anything.... or damage myself any more.... at least the first aid box is well stocked.......

So, it is....

Four weeks to Christmas Day.... and I am wholly disorganised and haven't got a clue what I am getting for most people, those who have been promised knitted items may get them for Beltane....

At least most of the immediate family presents are done.... that is to say they are in the shopping baskets at Amazon, Hotel Chocolate, Lush and Yankee candles... roll on pay day at the end of the week and I can get the orders submitted.... really must go find something for my father mind and get it sent off.

There is only one week to get post out for Christmas that is going down to Australia or New Zealand and only another week after that for USA post... thankfully European post can wait a bit longer.... which is good as I haven't even bought cards yet... this weekend... gonna have to get organised.

More importantly... much more importantly really.... there are now less than four weeks before the Winter Solstice and the turn of the Earth ready for the days to start getting longer again with the hope of a new year.

In all the mad panic of Christmas commercialism it's nice to have something else to focus on  that is a lot calmer and more in tune with nature and the earth.  I am looking forward to banishing the winter spirits and moving out the dark half of the year more than ever as it's been a very long cold and wet final quarter of the year.  Maybe as the new lunar year starts it will bring a more peaceful and balanced time for everyone.

Personal space....

I am a very tactile person, who frequently sprinkles whatever part of cyberspace I frequent with virtual hugs.... in real life, if I know you, I am pretty much the same... I think one of the reasons for always having the critters is in the absence of human company I've got something I can hold, cuddle, stroke... I am even trying to type this with Gina balanced on my knee... 

Now I know not everyone else is the same, my friend I went to see yesterday is another tactile person, and yes lots of hugging was involved .... my best friend is not a hugs person, not from any "hands off" kind of outlook, but because she has an illness that means she is often in pain and a misplaced hug can actually dislocate one of her joints, or pop a rib out of place.  My half daughter's Asperger's and Autism means that I am incredibly honoured and proud that she will hug me and let me hug her as in general she doesn't like anyone in her personal space.

Today I had my personal space invaded in a way I didn't like though.... by my own mother.  As a result of the manky foot fiasco in the summer my lymph system went crazy and I developed blisters all up the back of my calf, which acted accordingly and burst.  Four months on they are just about healed up but look horrible.... kind of like a burn scar that is still healing.  It's horrible.  I hate it, I hate for anyone to see it.  Now normally this is not a problem as I wear ankle length skirts all the time, but recently in high winds I've not been able to hold the skirt down and it's been seen.... and commented on, even pointed at, in the street... which has made me even more conscious of it.  

We were round at my sisters this afternoon making things for her work's craft fayre, which raises money for an annual prize in memory of one of her colleagues at the university where she works.  During a coffee break (I love my sister... she bought me very posh ground decaffeinated coffee for when I go visit her!) without warning or asking my mother lifted my skirt to try and look at my leg..... I freaked and shouted at her I'm afraid.  She then got defensive stating she only wanted to see how it was healing... and didn't take it at all well when I informed her that it wasn't acceptable for her to do that, it was a really bad invasion of my personal space and I wasn't having it.  Apparently, in her view, I was totally over reacting and as she was my mother and worried about me I should let her look.... 

Now had she asked first I probably would have shown her, but it was the whole thing of her just actually doing it without asking.  Part of me worries I over reacted and upset her, but part of me feels still really shuddery and self conscious about the whole thing.  My leg is always going to be badly scarred and ugly, I suppose I should really just get used to it, but part of me wants to hide it, and at times the rest of me, away so other people can't see.

There are no hard and fast rules about what is acceptable so far as invading someone else's personal space goes... but I hope that I'd never do what was done to me today and make someone else feel uncomfortable about it.

The (critter) Mafia...

A long time ago, a certain friend of mine, who should know better, started referring to me in tweets and on line generally as The Mob Boss (she also sends mail through the post with the same name... much to the consternation of my postie).... Now the reason for this is that the critters, well the canine part of them, are known collectively as The Mob.... shortened from Rent-a-Mob (for a small fee they will come round to your house and remind you why it's a damn good thing you don't have dogs)

Alas this stuck and henceforth in certain circles it's become almost an official nick name.  However, being The Mob Boss, this also means I am also known as.... The Godmother!

And today I had an official invitation from said friend responsible for silly nicknames to go meet two new members of The Family

So, introducing Fynn and Theo........... My new God-kittens.....

Fynn
"Go away Human, sleeping here"

Theo
Learning the enigmatic look

.

Ah, finally, someone found the off switch...

On being thankful.....

Given that we don't do Thanksgiving over here, last year I blogged about some of the things that I was thankful for.

This year most of those things remain the same....... though more and more as I see people struggle to gain acceptance within their own families I am more and more thankful that I grew up with parents who were open, understanding and above all loved me enough to let me be whatever I wanted to be.

The last twelve months have also given me something else to be extremely thankful for, and that is an ever growing group of internet friends, I could say internet family really.  With many that friendship has grown out of the internet sites into true and proper friendship.  To them I am extremely grateful, for their support, encouragement, helping me grow and making me smile.

Purple unicorns - for a very special friend :)

(un) Happy Feet....

Today has not been a good day for my poor feet!

Feet are important, I know this, they take the weight of most of a person's everyday stresses and strains, they are used for walking, driving, swimming, standing up after sitting down... they help you balance and it's a good thing to look after them really well..... as I learnt in the summer from the toe nail incident that landed me on the sofa for two weeks and has resulted in the lymph glands in my lower left leg packing up....

I have not always been good to my feet...... mainly because I hate and detest having to wear shoes and socks.... I am learning to be nicer to them as my McMillan Nurse was quite stroppy about the fact that I need to keep something on them pretty much all the time to protect them...... I sulk a bit sometimes about it but in general I try to do as I am told on this one (fear of landing back on the sofa for two weeks.... grief that was boring)

Obviously so not my feet!! 

Anyway, I digress.... today.... it was wet and miserable this morning and in the walk from the car park to the office I knew I was going to get wet .... what I hadn't realised was that my right shoe had a hole in the bottom of it and a small crack near the heel...... I did realise after I'd splashed through a puddle or two and squelched a few steps further as my foot began to feel cold and soggy..... I divested myself of said shoe and the accompanying sock when I got to my desk but alas it did not dry out before I had to put it back on.... consequently my right foot was very wrinkled and prune like.

I was looking forward to having a nice foot pampering session this evening with some lovely citrus and rock salt bath goodies that I'd been sent ..... however, as I'd run out of cat biscuits, and three chicken wings will not feed four dogs, I stopped at the shops on the way home in order to prevent a mutiny by the critters.... by the time I'd got everything I needed I was flinging three carrier bags into the car, in the dark car park, and sliding into the drivers seat.  As I dropped the bags onto the passenger seat and pulled the door shut behind me I kind of forgot to pull my right foot all the way into the car........ and slammed the door straight across my foot just below my toes!

After sitting in the car park with my eyes watering and my foot throbbing for about five minutes I tentatively tried it on the accelerator and brake before deciding that it was probably okay to drive home..... yeah, that was painful, and possibly in hindsight not more of my more brilliant ideas.

I half hopped and half hobbled my way into the house and pacified the critters with food before daring to remove my shoe.... the bruising was already starting to come up across the top of my foot, and after carrying out several strange contortionist type moves I could see that it was a bit bruised on the bottom as well.  There is some swelling but not a huge amount.  I thought about going to A&E and getting it x-rayed but as I can move all my toes and it isn't agony to touch on top or to stand and put weight on it I am pretty sure it's just bad bruising......I ice packed it for a while and have now strapped it up nice and tightly, taken some pain killers (though I am sure the approved method of this is not to swallow them by swigging cough medicine out the bottle) and am now sitting here with my foot up on the cat's toy box whilst I question why is it that these things just seem to happen to me??

Further tales from Mr Hugo’s House of Grooming…

My cats are strange …. which if you’ve read any of this blog in the past you’ll know already… you may also recall that Hugo has a fascination for all things related to human grooming and hair care….(unlike his mother whose only contribution is to eat the “hair spiders” that I remove from the comb to make herself sick…. revolting creature!)

Hugo’s biggest grooming fads (well until this morning) are to comb my hair… which usually happens as I am trying to get to sleep…. he perches on my back, extends his claws and drags them through my hair…. if I don’t react he will continue with this, getting more and more into it until he gets carried away and sticks his claws into my head…. at which point he usually gets turfed off the bed…

The other thing he does is to pluck my eyebrows …. he will place his paws either side of my eyes (at which point I tend to either lie very still or remove him straight away depending on how awake I am) and then gently with his teeth pull out individual eyebrow hairs…. well hair… I am not big on the whole eyebrow plucking thing anyway, and done by the cat is just freaky as well as painful!

He’s also very partial to hair dye…. Not sure why, I am sure that the horrible ammonia/chemical smell of it would put any normal cats off and keep the far away… but no, not Hugo…. The closer he can get the better… though I have learnt my lesson and when my hair dye is developing he is not allowed to sit on my shoulder … (as an aside – have you seen the tattooed sphynx cats on the net? I am pretty sure it’s not a permanent tattoo they put on them, but really, no, too weird, even for me)… I do have to put the packaging from the hair dye straight in the bin as he has in the past ripped open the box to get to the left over chemicals.

This morning however I discovered that he has got over his fear of the hair dryer…..it, along with the vacuum cleaner, used to send him and his mother scurrying under the nearest duvet… alas not anymore! Now I am not one for usually drying my hair… its combination of not having time in the morning, having boring straight hair that doesn’t really require styling and, erm, my ability to blow up hair dryers… I mean seriously, they are such fragile things, you have them on for a couple of minutes and they are either smoking on the back end, going bang and tripping the electrics or setting themselves alight, and trying to take the carpet with them…..  I am sure it really isn’t just me that can make them do this!

Usually I will only bother drying my hair if it is freezing outside and I am going to have to go scrape ice off the car (frozen hair defrosting as you sit at the desk in the office is seriously unpleasant) but today, what with the cold, I decided what they hell I had time I might as well take the worst of the water out my hair. 

So as I flipped myself upside down (no not my whole self, just my head, be sensible here), switched on the dryer .... and was joined by Hugo… who kept trying to pull the hair dryer down towards him… so I blasted him to get rid of him, a bit of hot air, totally harmless……. Only it didn’t get rid of him… he basked, he tarted about under the hot air, he scratched all down my hand when I tried to go back to drying my hair……. after a small battle of wills, which was only partially won when I stood up… he refused to be defeated though and climbed up my back onto my shoulder…. I got my hair dry (ish)… I left the stupid cat curled up around the hot hair dryer impatiently tapping the end of it with his paw….. I did turn unplug it from the socket.

A day in the germ filled life...

Okay, so if I had any common sense (or anyone with the ability to make me see reason) I probably wouldn't have gone into work this morning seeing as I am particularly full of the lurgy..... but hey, I had 2 days off last week (yeah, I know, I had an exam, but hey, work doesn't stop for that) and I have a team to supervise, and other people to be and... and... and... etc.... so yeah, I went to work.........

I coughed, sneezed and croaked my way through the morning.... at one point being told that I sounded a bit like Darth-Vader...... they still wouldn't let me have a light sabre to play with mind..... I had a major guilt attack in the afternoon, nothing to do with work but rather that I'd got someone into trouble.... I am assured I am being silly I shouldn't feel guilty and that all is fine...... this didn't stop me from dwelling for a bit until I managed to get a grip by repeating to myself "I am not responsible for other peoples choices and actions," a few times...... I wrote it down when I got in and stuck it on the wall over the kitchen table so that every time my conscience twinged I could read it and get myself to put it into perspective......... I do have problems with an over developed guilt system and an inability to let things go, but given the reassurances provided I am trying my best to with this.

So come home time from work I wheezed my way to the car park (passed the 5 empty disabled parking spots in front of the office - which bugs the hell out of me, particularly on days like this).... only to find a large crowd of people around the machine where you pay to get out.

And this is where all semblance of tact and diplomacy left me and sarcasm rather took over.  As I leant against the door feeling rather washed out and pathetic some suited cretin (I probably work with this guy but it's a large company ....) was ranting into the speaker thing you press to get help.. Apparently his card had been rejected and he had been told to drive to the barrier and pay there.... obviously the help desk in deepest darkest Peru (okay, probably not, but I've no idea where they live.... possibly they are very small people who actually live in the ticket machines??) didn't know that a few weeks back the facility to pay at the barrier by card had been taken out...... so said cretin's car was now parked at the barrier holding everyone else who had paid and could get out up..... cos no, he didn't have the sense to back it into a spare space whilst he sorted it out.

The guy was downright rude to the person trying to help him, so much so that I wasn't at all surprised when he hung up on him....(I nearly applauded but managed to hold that one back) the suited guy was at this time cursing out the bodiless voice, the staff of the car park, probably their owners and the colony of stray cats on the 9th floor (nah, there probably isn't one, I've not been up that far though so I wouldn't swear to it).... and better still... he wouldn't let anyone else use the machine........I did suggest that perhaps he'd reached his credit limit  on his card which went down like a lead balloon......

Eventually a car park worker came to help him..... leading him away to get him to pay at the kiosk inside... but non one else in the queue moved.... by this time, nearly 20 minutes of standing around in the cold was starting to get to me and I quietly asked (it's related to the sarcasm, if I get quiet and more sarcastic it's a pretty safe bet that tact and diplomacy have legged it and I'm about to blow) whether anyone intended to pay for the car park and, you know, go home?

The sour mouthed woman towards the front of the queue turned on me and started having a go at me about how she had no intention of paying now only to find herself stuck in the queue of cars waiting to go out and the time from paying to exiting expiring so she had to pay more.  Fine says I, but I have a day pass with a fixed price and I would rather sit in my car, so if she'd excuse me.... oh the look I got.... apparently that was queue jumping and I could just wait my turn......

I was quite proud of the fact I didn't call her on her attitude..... I did however, ignore her and mutter something about being unwell whilst stalking (well stomping really) past her, wapping card and money into the machine and flouncing through the door.... by the time I'd got to my car and to the barrier there was no queue and stupid woman was only just coming through the door having just paid....... I kind of hope that waiting might have pushed her time up to the next payment bracket.......

I have done nothing much this evening, a bit of reading and some relaxing whilst bemoaning, silently by text cos talking hurts, the fact that I am freezing but can't eat anything hot as it feels like it's taking the skin off my throat........ hot lemon is bad at the best of time but luke warm lemon is truly revolting......... fingers crossed I can beat this cold in the very near future........ the next germ that comes near me I am going to take out with a mallet!

The weekend by numbers...

1.  I did it, I was examinated, it is over and done with... results mid-December... bugger all I can do about them so I am refusing to worry.  When I got home, did I celebrate my freedom from academia after 3 long hard years?  Did I have a drink or three to get over the exam stress?  Did I go paint the town red (well pale pink, I'm old and not that energetic)?  Nope, none of the above, I took lots of cold cures and went to bed early.... I really am an old woman at times!

2.  Saturday started ridiculously early with the realisation that in fact I couldn't breathe .... no nothing drastic.... I have a heavy cold, so of course Gina is trying to aid my recovery (not) by lying in the crook of my neck, with her head resting heavily over my windpipe....The rest of the day was rather boring... I did some serious comfort reading .... and confirmed to myself that, why yes, I do in fact have a crush on a fictional character!.... not so unusual? well perhaps, only in this case object of said crush is male... which for me makes it a bit odd...... ah well, never mind, no one is going to have a problem with me taking him home and looking after him are they?? (though given his Top like tendencies this maybe a mistake on my part)

3.  Laundry happened at some point yesterday... cos clean clothes are a helpful thing for the working week.... only problem is.. lack of heating and wet clothes does not a happy mix make... upstairs in my house feels like a slightly damp laundrette.  I have the heater on in the book room to get things dry... the cats however think this is just on for them....

4.  I don't know about anyone else, but when I have a cold my lips tend to dry out and crack... they did this overnight but I didn't realise until after I'd reached out and drank the lemon squash I had by the bed.... erm... OUCH!!  really not to be recommended... I was very awake and cursing in seconds!

5.  I have no voice!!  The dogs think this is a wonderful thing as unless I can get my hands on something non breakable when they open their gobs that I can throw towards them they've realised I can do nothing to shut them up (usually I shout, well I don't, I just say "Gretchen" in a very loud and stern tone.... which works, well on all bar one dog.... okay, guess which... I tried it earlier and sounded like Kermit on Helium... not good!)

6.  I have been beta reading a story today (which I am really enjoying) but appear to be trying to eat my own body weight in satsumas as I do it...

7.  I had planned to do some baking as well today, but discovered when I bent down to put the oven on that going dizzy was possibly not a good thing to have happen to you when you are using an electric mixer, hot gas oven etc.... well particularly as this is me we are talking about.

8. I need to get rid of my germs before tomorrow... work is not a fun place at the best of times, though I suppose I can run a quarantine flag up the back of my chair and wheeze at people till they go away and leave me alone...... I shall have to find a friendly minion to answer my phone for me though... what a shame ;)

So, this is it....is it?

By this time tomorrow three and a half years of hard work and assignments will be over.  Each year for three years I've done and passed eight assignments in key subject areas and been to a compulsory seminar.... but all of that counts for nothing.... it all hinges on tomorrow and whether I can pass two exams starting with a theory type paper at 11 am and then a practical paper at 2 pm.......to pass I have to secure a minimum of 65% in both........ and I won't get the results till mid December.

Despite that when I get home tomorrow evening I know I can do nothing about the outcome, so it is time to put it behind me and do other things with my free time....

Thanks to reading Amy Lane's knitting books recently (okay, so I finished the last one earlier tonight after my brain reached critical saturation point on the revision front) I appear to have re-discovered my knitting mojo ... just in time to at least get a couple of projects I'd promised done for Christmas... with the knitting it's then onwards to March when two of my friends have babies due... I feel mini socks may be on the cards...

Rupert the evil plot bunny gave me an idea for the November story prompt, which I am hoping to get written up this weekend - so nice not to have to shove what I really want to write to one side for the sake of my course!  I'd also like to work on one other story, which I have the characters for and the very bare bones of a story, but I have no idea where it's going save the opening scene and a bit of background....... I shall just let my characters lead me.

I have a story to beta read this weekend too which I am really looking forward to.

Other than that, my time is my own.... I should really do something to celebrate finishing my course.... something that doesn't get me into trouble.... or arrested ... that is.... perhaps if I have a couple of celebratory vodkas something will come to me on this subject.

In the meantime, I am taking my germ ridden self and a box of tissues to bed for an early night.....

Wibbling slightly....

I'd say about 80% of the time I am fine with being on my own... however, in the run up to these exams, even with incredibly supportive real life and virtual friends, I've really been missing having someone close enough in my life who will give me some personal support, even if it's just to give me a hug when it's all getting too much.

Right now, I am stressed to hell, wavering between throwing a full tantrum in only the way a brat can along the lines of "I can't do this", or running away and hiding.

Added to which I appear to be starting with an early winter cold (streaming nose, itchy eyes, sore throat....) which is just so not needed right now.

As much as I value my independence, there are times when even I believe it's not all it's cracked up to be....those times when I don't actually feel like being the one who can stand on her own two feet, smile, nod and convince everyone that everything is fine.... I just want to lean on someone else for a bit.

Stress levels rising...

I've mastered the first part just working
up to the second....

My finals are in 3 days... well actually in 60 hours....

I don't feel like I know anything - which is ridiculous as the subjects I am being examined on I work at every day - but I am at the stage of looking at case law and Civil Procedure Rules and my mind is just going blank.

After a full day's work I can't revise of an evening or I get to the stage of either wanting to curl up in a ball and cry or having a complete out tantrum, stamping my feet and yelling "I can't do it" at the top of my voice.

I'd liked to have had more than 1 day off before my exams to put in some more revision but that's not an option (and my standing in as team leader got off to a flying start this week when first thing Monday morning one of the team came to me to hand in her notice.... that wasn't on the briefing I got before taking on the post for a month)

Time I think for lots of deep breaths and calming thoughts

and if all else fails I shall do as the picture advises...

Fly - 1, Naked Cats - 0....

Hugo: "Where did it go?"
Gina: "Quiet! Stalking!!"

So there I was, quietly curled up on the sofa reading, the fire on full blast (yep, still no heating - and yes, I've seen, we are threatened temperatures of -15 or so.... pah... I laugh in the face of such temperatures... okay slightly hysterically but that's the only option)... the dogs all snoozing around me.... when there was a roll of thunder from above.....

Well no, it wasn't thunder at all..... it was... The Great End of Season Fly Hunt.....

For two quite small cats they can't half make it sound like I've a heard of elephants crashing about upstairs......

By the time I put the dogs away and came up to play on the computer for a bit before bed they had managed to pull the towels off the back of the bathroom door, knock books off the shelf, tip over and spray their bowl of cat biscuits across the study floor and remove just about all the drying clothes off the airer.

I should be grateful they didn't knock the electric heater I put on for them up here over and set the house alight.

And the cause of all this .... a small innocent housefly, which was at the time lurking harmlessly on top of the bathroom door...

The following conversation may have then taken place....

Hugo (whilst bouncing up and down next to the bathroom door):  "Fly, fly, look human, fly"
Me (with toothbrush in mouth): "stop it, and if you even think about climbing up... ouch...Hugo!"
Hugo (whilst leaping from half way up my back towards the door): "I can get it, I can, oh no....."
Gina (from her perch on the banister rail): "If I chatter my teeth at it will you help get it?"

cue teeth chattering and strange chirrupy meow.... as I heartlessly wander past into my bedroom ignoring them.

Hugo: "I can get it, I can get it"

Next time I looked he was stuck half way up the wall with his claws stuck in the revolting anaglypta wall paper staring pathetically at the housefly which was still on the top of the bathroom door.  I left him there to find his own way down on the theory that he got up there himself he can get down himself.

I've turned the lights off now, and the fly appears to have won this round... Gina has taken herself to bed in a pile of my clean waiting to be ironed clothes, and Hugo is currently on guard duty on top of the book room door... which means any second he's going to make a leap for my right kidney to soften his landing on the way down.......

Remind me... I have these cats because????

Friday evening waffling.....

This time next week, three years of hard work and my finals will all be over.... which is a bit of a sobering thought for someone that has a problem with completing things... this is something I have no choice in though so I am going to have to live with it.  Though the results of the exams won't come out until December so I will be in limbo for a while afterwards.

Talking to a friend this evening, in between the talk of babies, toddlers, badly behaved critters (more of which later) and knitting, we were coming up with ideas of what I can do with my free time.....Now I've said from about the start of this course that this will be it, I will not be doing any further studying... she however has doing various Open University courses over the last few years, some of which do sound tempting - I'd really quite like to do the medieval history course.... but then again, I have kind of had enough of studying.

I do need to think of something, as failing that I will end up taking work home to do in the evenings.... and as much as I could and in fact would spend my entire free time lost in my Kindle (well till it gave up and exploded... again) I should perhaps do other things to unwind.  I do have several knitting projects I need to get on with, and I have some story ideas I would like to get written (and I have been threatened with nagging if my mainstream YA series doesn't get it's second book in the very near future... bossy beta readers!)

That said, I've still a week to get through, and a fun filled week of revision it would be.  Tomorrow and Sunday are scheduled out into 3 x 2 hour blocks, with time off for grocery deliveries and laundry (I know how to have fun....), Monday night I will have revision free as I am always kippered when I get home from work on a Monday night.. more revision Tuesday and Wednesday night and then on Thursday I actually have an official revision day, by which I am hoping I will only be highlighting and cross checking.....oh and making sure I've directions to Leeds where I am sitting the exam.


Now hopefully the canine critters will be well behaved for the rest of the weekend.... they got a severe rollicking when I got home from work as the delightful little gits had emptied my kitchen bin all over the floor... it probably took me longer to clean up than it did for them to empty it.... I am just hoping there are no ill effects from the debris they have probably managed to eat.

The cats are being smug ... they always are when the dogs are in trouble, and I am in fact typing this with my head painfully tilted to one side as Gina is balancing on my left shoulder, purring in my ear, as she supervises my typing....... either that or she's getting revenge for me refusing to give her the Q-tip to play with this morning......