2013.... that was the year that was....

The sun has gone down here on 2013 and in just a few short hours the new year will arrive, and along with it the usual optimism and hopes for positive things for all in the coming year.

2013 has for me not been a brilliant one....... whilst I haven't had any major relapses requiring me to lurk on the sofa with my leg up for great lengths of times, my immune system remains buggered - to the effect where a simple trip to the dentist requires two weeks worth of antibiotics.  I am having to be very careful not to get bitten or scratched by any of my critters, or to catch any colds or random germs. I am trying out some new medication but it's early days to say how effective it's going to be - but combined with the bondage stocking it seems to be having a good effect so far on my lypmh system.

I am still enjoying my job - and have recently been formally promoted to deputy team leader.  The firm remains busy which should, touch wood, mean my job is safe.  The job of course means that I have a roof over my head and food on the table.... though despite my saving like fury I've still not managed to get the money together for a new boiler - which is not a happy position to be in facing a cold winter in the imminent future!

My sister and her partner are still happily together - and in fact have moved in together earlier in the year.  Mum has only had a couple of minor health wobbles this year - not bad for a 75 year old - and has adopted a wonderful black cat to keep her company.

Of course, the biggest memory of 2013 will always be of losing dad.  I know I said last year that if his health deteriorated I wanted him to pass swiftly and without pain, which of course is what happened.  But even knowing that isn't enough to deal with the gaping big hole in my life and the lives of the family caused by him suddenly not being there anymore.  Things are still far to recent for me to be getting any real perspective on it and I find myself falling apart at the smallest and unexpected things.  Christmas was tough, as tonight will be, as I still forget he's not here and expect him to phone when he would usually have done in the past.


Which of course takes us to next year.... and to be honest, right now I am not in a position to look forward and identify hopes and expectations for the next twelve months.  Right now, all I can say is I want to get myself and my family through it safely and in good health.

Books I read in December.......

For some reason this month it became one for reading some old favourites, and real paperback books for the main part. 

The best book I read this month would have to be Irregulars - which is essentially 4 novellas set in the same universe but by four different authors.  

I read a couple of seasonal books ... my favourite being Merry Gentlemen... which is not really surprising given the author and my soft spot for books with a strong British feeling.

1. Physical Therapy – Z. A. Maxfield (r)
2. The Book of Daniel – Z.A. Maxfield (r)
3. Drawn Together – Z.A. Maxfield (r)
4. Blaque/Bleu - Belinda McBride (r)

5. Chuffed – Tia Fielding  - this was the first of a series of three shifter stories set in Finland I read this month. The first two I really enjoyed - probably because they were about cat shifters not wolves, but the third I didn't enjoy as much.

6. Not My Wolf – Eden Cole
7. Tiglon by the Tail – Tia Fielding
8. Howl Sweet Howl – Tia Fielding

9. Shy – John Inman - I had high hopes for this book but alas I don't think the author and I have remotely the same sense of humour as I found it difficult to enjoy anything about the story in the end.

10. Quid Pro-Quo – Voinov/Witt
11. Merry Gentlemen – Josephine Myles 

12. Never Say Never – Stormy Glen - book of the month I had to read for the Scavenger Hunt - erm, yeah, no, not an author/series I will be reading further.

13. Irregulars – Nicole Kimberling & others
14. The Family We’re Born With – Kaje Harper 

15. Top Bidder – Sean Michael
16. Deeper – Sean Michael - nice addition to the Hammer series and certainly better than the last few boos in my view.

17. Twelve Tasks – Therese Woodson - Really enjoyed this debut book which showed originality and humour in the story telling.

18. Grime & Punishment – Z.A. Maxfield - I always feel in safe hands with a ZAM book and this didn't disappoint.

19. Stripped Clean – Ellis Carrington 

20. Bound to Break – S.E. Jakes -This is the latest in the Men of Honour Series and I thought one of the best.

21.Falls Chance Ranch – Rolf & Ranger (r) - yes, again, what can I say, Christmas was a bit fraught in places and I needed some comfort reading.

So that's it for the year - I shall do another post later on with some stats about what I've read this year and some thoughts about next year's reading goals.

My house today.............

Just with less fur and a lot more wailing

some people will be struck from the Christmas list for buying my cats extra strong catnip gifts!

Christmas wishes.....

To everyone who reads this, whether you are a regular visitor

or just popping by

May you have a wonderful festive season 

*Christmas Squishes*

Winter in the Peak District

The "To Do" List of Doom...

So, the radio is 100% festive tunes, the shops are full of tinny music, driving anywhere involves an impressive tour of highly decorated houses.... Christmas is less than two days away... and I am faced with the List of Doom.....

So... I thought I'd post it here and try to cross it off as I go along...

Today
Breakfast with my sister and a friend - done!
Get enough cat and dog food, cat litter, and find presents for Mavis and Catalina (yeah, mum and sister's cats get presents - mine don't - I am an evil nasty owner) from the haunted pet shop - done!
Do the last of the necessary food shopping - done!
Collect the last of mum's presents and sister's partner's present from sister's house
wrap the last of the presents
make potato salad & coleslaw - done
make lemon drizzle cake - done!
tidy the house

Tomorrow
Collect parcel from the sorting office - I have no idea what this is everything I've ordered or am expecting has arrived... tis a mystery!   I may moan a lot to the guys at the desk over the fact that the parcels I sent to Europe and the US well before the last posting date (9 days in the case of the European one) had spectacularly failed to arrive!
Go out to Chatsworth House Farm Shop with my sister to pick up the meat for Christmas dinner and buy cheeses for the cheese board
Make hazelnut meringue - done bar the cream and chocolate...
Make Lemon & Cherry Torte
Deliver food for mum's Christmas Eve party

Finish everything in time to leave for the party at 6.30 pm

So, this afternoon will be mainly baking and cooking.......whilst flitting on and off the net, falling over the dogs whilst I wander about the kitchen and wishing I could have a very large coffee!

At the year's end

This Solstice is a time for reflection and remembering, and in particular today is a day for being there for my mum on would have been her and dad's 41st wedding anniversary.  Whilst they may have been divorced for longer than they were married they remained very good friends to the end.

There is a lot of focus at the solstice about healing and remembering.  I have lit the fire and my candles will be my light for this evening, I've made a track of songs that I remember my parents playing during my childhood and I am going to sit and reflect this evening

Solstice blessings.

The Festive Social Whirl.....

I think it's probably been established I am not the most social of people.... I am fairly shy (witness me hiding behind my knitting at the UK Meet earlier this year), awkward and with a body that doesn't work properly often in pain and need to sit down.  I also dislike being an object of curiosity or worse (parents - it's not cool for your kids to point and laugh at the fat and disabled person - and trust me I will pull you up on it in the most embarrassing way I can if they do it).

Most evenings throughout the year I am quite happy to come home from work and crash on the sofa or in front of the computer.... but this time of year while I want to go off and see friends, it's hard to get out of other social obligations......... which means that so far I've been out every single night this week.

Last Friday I had the last of my days off, and headed to see a friend in Derby for a pre-Christmas catch up and to see the God-kittens - who have grown and in fact Flynn is now a giant... though amusingly when he's very happy snuggles on my friend's girlfriend's chest and as he gets happier starts humping her bust... which is hilarious to watch!   On Sunday evening I was out again, to meet up with some friends and then on Monday night for a meal with the people who used to live next door while we were growing up - their three girls slot in age around me and my sister.... that meal was amusing as although we'd booked in advance the pub we went to had run out of just about everything on the menu which made us laugh, a lot, much to the increasing embarrassment of our waiter.  Bless him, we did tip him well after all it wasn't his fault the kitchen screwed up.

Last night was the annual tree erection event at my sister's house....... just the phrase "tree erection" I've discovered makes my sister glare at me and her partner giggle....... I may have said it a few times... when I wasn't throwing snowball decorations at my sister the tree... I got told off for that... and for encouraging the Samosa cat to steal the baubles off the lower branches of the tree........

Tonight I had my last counselling session for the year ... and we are looking at me going to every other week come the new year if I cope with the holiday period without too much stress (and my eyebrow has grown back by the time I see him again) ... after that I went and retrieved the Austrian Postal Fairy from where she'd taken shelter overnight n the Post Office.  My internet family are very generous, I have three parcels to unwrap from them on Christmas Day (I've taken them to my sister's this evening to go under the tree so that I am not tempted to shake or proddle......... Then finally, i headed to mum's for tea .... and now I am home..

Tomorrow night, I am really, really looking forward to coming home from work, critter wrangling and then collapsing in a large heap on the sofa and not being social at all......... in fact, that sounds like a damn fine plan for Friday evening to!

Finding that festive feeling........... or not.......

So, the middle of December... I am trying desperately to join my friends and family to get into the festive

spirit, but it's kind of not happening.

I've finished my Christmas shopping.... which I have to admit I enjoyed, but then I love buying stuff and giving it to other people no matter the time of year - there is something special in finding exactly the right things to give to those you care about.  I've wrapped all the presents, sent the overseas cards and parcels - well before the last posting day for a change... 

The radio is now playing about 50/50 Christmas songs and normal tunes.  There are decorations over my desk at work (despite my expressly forbidding the same - I wasn't there the day they went up), when I drive home from work I see houses all lit up and Christmas trees in windows - in some areas also known as "The Tour of Tat" because, well, really, have you seen some of the decorations people have!  Mind you, the highlight of my day has to be my mum telling me about her neighbour who has been inviting everyone on the street round to see "the lights she'd put in her bush" ... I had to explain why I spat my tea out and snickered at this........

But my house is totally unfestive... okay, so I don't usually put up a tree - cos well, I'd spend more time picking it up and putting the decorations back on again after the Canine Demolition Squad and the Hell Cats had had their way with it....... I usually at least put up my cards, but this year they are just lying on the kitchen table... 

This week I have meals out Monday and Wednesday with old friends who I grew up with, who are all very into the whole festive season..... yeah, not sure that's going to be much fun.  Tuesday night we are putting up the tree at my sisters - well, my sister is putting up her tree and I am throwing snowball decorations at her and encouraging the Samosa cat to steal the baubles off the bottom branches.... well that's the plan I've been threatened with being sent to sit in the naughty corner if I try it.........

Maybe the festive spirit will find me.... in the meantime,  I am looking forward to Saturday, which is the Winter Solstice when hopefully I am going to be able to go out to celebrate the turning of the year.

Everyone else is doing it.....

So I am going to as well....

Blow my own trumpet that is........

Here goes....

*imagine fanfare inserted here*

My Love Has No Boundaries Story.... One Week.... has been nominated in the M/M Group's Members' Choice Awards!!

I almost feel like a proper writer....... almost....... yeah, still not one really *grins*



I have to do it here because unlike other nominees (who are proper writers), I have followers on my Twitter feed who I work with in an environment that probably wouldn't appreciate what I was writing and I have other followers who are from my Girls Own book groups, many of whom would be squicked out by any form of romance involving naked body parts ;)

Random mumbling of no particular importance....

Oh dear, I really am a bad blogger... I've not really updated properly for ages....

Well, that's probably because I have not got that much to say.......

I am failing spectacularly to get into the Christmas spirit .... yeah, I know I have grinch like tendencies anyway, but this year I just can't find the will do do anything much about it.  That said, I have got a bit overboard on the present buying for other people - particularly my sister who doesn't want anything "because she's got everything she needs" which is a phrase we heard from dad every single year.... I've tried to find a selection of stuff to spoil her that she wouldn't usually buy for herself.

I spent the better part of yesterday battling with a migraine.... when I could manage to stay upright I wrapped presents and wrote cards ...... which is good as it's the last posting day for the US on Monday and Europe on Friday next week... thankfully I have harnessed some postal fairies and everything should hopefully get to it's destination on time.

Present wrapping is always interesting in my house - I went for the easier option and wrapped on the kitchen table - trying to wrap upstairs with help from Hugo is just about impossible... as it was Hope ended up covered in tape where she kept nicking the carefully cut lengths that I'd got attached to the table edge..... Gretchen kept trying to steal things off the table and Kammi managed to get some of the packing and sat guarding it and growling at everyone that came close.......... Ivan hid in a corner... it was far too stressful for him!

Today has been a quiet day as I got over the tail end of the migraine.... which involved eating dry crackers and drinking weak black tea........ I only get migraines once in a blue moon - I mean seriously - the last time was about 8 years ago after I'd been in a car crash... I have no idea what triggered this one - but I hope that it won't happen again for another 8 years.

What else...
I have 9 working days to go till Christmas - and about a months work of work to fit into that....
I still haven't bought a new home phone... and am loving not being disturbed by cold callers....
I have the smallest Christmas tree I could find - I mean seriously it's about 6 inches high ... it has a little bit of sparkly stuff on and is on my kitchen windowsill where no critter can get it
I discovered that leaving buying dog food till after the shops are shut on a Sunday night is not perhaps the best plan - they are having scrambled eggs for breakfast!

Right, that's about it... time to go hide under a blanket in front of the fire with the Kindle for the rest of the evening...

100 words....

He’d not made a sound as they’d carried him home from where they found him; the strong brown rope still binding his limbs. Or as they’d laid his battered body on the soft white bed sheets. He’d grumbled as they’d undone the tightly knotted cords which bit into his skin before they’d washed away the blood that had seeped from the cuts and grazes marking his body. The last thing he remembered was the feel of arms around him. Waking in the morning light, the arms still held him, but his body had healed and returned to his human form.

In which we are thankful for books and reading........

Or, what I read in November!

There was a lot of re-reading this month, the Tales of Amaranth series because I needed to re-read the first four before I could read the new one to refresh my memory - and yes, I these books may be on the short side but I really do like them - I think because the happy endings aren't reliant on the slave becoming free - this is a Master/slave society where freedom isn't an option so both must make the best of what they have.

Some of the other re-reads were caused by the death of Kindle the Third..... can't manage 6 days without reading something so comfort reading it was!

Favourites of the new books this month go to Mahu by Neil Plakcy - not a romance as such but a good solid detective story with a gay MC who is suddenly forced out of his closet in a hostile environment.  I shall look forward to reading the rest of the series and Threshold by Jordan L Hawk - the second book the Whyborne & Griffin series (featuring the wonderful Christine) sees them battling supernatural/alien creatures who are taking control of the workers in a mine - looking forward to the third in the series which is out next month

1.                Ricochet – Xanthe Walters (r)

2.                Dark Heart – Thom Lane (r)

3.                Healing Heart – Thom Lane (r)

4.                Hidden Heart – Thom Lane (r)

5.                Runaway Heart – Thom Lane (r)

6.                Gambling Heart – Thom Lane - Nice addition to the series, and sees the return of Lucan and Tam from the first book.

7.                Tag Team – SJD Peterson - this is the second book in this series, and whilst I enjoyed it more than the first I really struggle with some issues in the plot and find myself getting very annoyed when reading.

8.                Unacceptable Risk – Kaje Harper (r)

9.                Unexpected Demands – Kaje Harper (r)

10.            Jacob’s Ladder – Z.A. Maxfield (r)

11.            Faith & Fidelity – Tere Michaels (r)

12.            Coyote’s Creed – Demont R Vaughan - This urban fantasy was my PIFM book this month.  Not one I'd have chosen myself, but it was a nicely set up story with a wicked sense of humour running through the writing

13.            Threshold – Jordan L Hawk

14.            Mahu –Neil Plakcy

15.            Shock & Awe – Abigail Roux 

16.            Devil at the Crossroads – Cornelia Grey

17.            Taken – Andrew Grey - This is the follow up to Stranded, and I enjoyed both books, but, there was a huge problem for me when the characters went off the UK... the author clearly didn't run his choice of language and narrative past anyone who actually lives here as some of the words he used, well, just no, really, seriously, no

18.            Worth Waiting For – Kim Dare

19.            Love & Loyalty – Tere Michaels (r)

20.            Homo Action Love Story, A Tall Tale – Ben Monopoli - This was fun, a lot of fun, in a mad and random kind of way... I mean, Paintball as a professional sport that has eclipsed all other forms of professional sports?!

21.            Duty & Devotion – Tere Michaels (r)

And so we head off to the final month of the year.  I have a writing deadline on 5th December so there will be no reading anything new until the story is finished... that said... I have saved the Market Garden series by Voinov & Witt to start, and probably finish, this month ... well I've nearly 10 days away from work over Christmas... serious reading time I think!!

Saturday song.......

The Feeling are a band that I love some of their songs, and can leave the rest... this, most recent one, I really like....

Again with the powers of destruction........

Last week, on Wednesday in fact, I had been happily reading on my Kindle at lunch time, but by the time I had got home it was dead....... not one to believe things straight away I cursed, rebooted, cursed again, checked online help, rebooted again.... but no, half the screen saver remained stubbornly stuck across the reading screen.... so I phoned up the Dead Kindle Helpline to be told, yep, it's dead......... and as it's not under warranty anymore - why yes, I did finally manage to keep one for over a year - I would need a replacement......... So I have gone from a Kindle Keyboard to a Kindle Touch (not brand new, the Zon offer guaranteed refurbished Kindles for cheap when you are phoning to whine a lot about your's dying) ... It arrived on Tuesday and I am slowly getting to grips with it - though I have safely transferred all my books over.......

Then, the same day I get the replacement Kindle, it's the turn of my mobile phone to die.... well not die as such.... but suddenly decided that it can't read the SIM card......... it refuses to recognise that it's even in there.  I did as the mobile provider suggested......... removed the SIM card, wiped it with a clean cloth and put it back... but no... still nothing.....

I was out Tuesday night for sister's partner's birthday meal so last night, I picked up the land line phone to phone the mobile provider (whilst wincing more than slightly at the call charges for doing so from a landline) only to find that lo and behold..... my landline wasn't working.  It appears to be a fault with the handsets or base unit - though I'm not sure why as it was working fine Tuesday night...... so this weekend I shall have to go to the mobile phone shop to get them to find out why the SIM card has stopped working and then to the Evil Cult of the Electrical Devices to purchase a new land line phone.......... Though I fear that me walking into a big shop selling electrical equipment may possibly result in terminal chaos....

I am hoping, as these things come in threes, that that this is it on the breaking technology for a while.... a long while......... but I wouldn't bet on it!

Busy doing nothing......

So, it's the weekend... yes.... a time to relax and chill out from the working week.... or in fact write like the wind in view of the 5th December deadline...

And I have no Kindle at present thanks to my amazing ability to kill technology so I hadn't got books as a distraction (well aside from the paper ones that lurk in most rooms of the house)

well that last part was the plan....

Yesterday I faffed about, did laundry, got my shopping delivered, ordered Christmas presents on line, watched Dr Who (okay, well, that was kind of obligatory in our family) and wrote... bugger all.

Today, I had good intentions........ I got up early, switched on the computer then.... made a birthday cake for my sister's partner, chopped up a load of veg to make a casserole in the slow cooker, made a spinach, red onion and mushroom fritatta and cauliflower cheese (which, really, I must stop calling boiled brain in cheese sauce... but really, a whole cauliflower does look like that)...

I've also cleaned the kitchen and bathroom and bleached the yard......

I've been up and down the stairs about a million times... mainly because I've got the electric fire plugged in up there in the hope of having dry clothes for work.... but every time I hear the thunder of paws overhead and something go crash I have to go check the cats haven't managed to knock something off the coat hangers that are hanging in the doorway and draped it over the fire.... yep, paranoid, but with reason, it's the sort of evilly stupid thing my cats would do.

oh and manicured my finger nails and taken the unusual step of painting them.... I don't normally, because really it's just not usually me, but today I felt like it......... they are ice blue...... which of course is a totally reasonable colour for a professional 40 year old to colour their nails isn't it??

I have opened the word document I am working on.... twice... but the words they are just not happening....

Ah well, I've a whole evening ahead to..... ooh, look, shiny.....  hummm,.... what was I saying :)

100 words - the midweek edition ....

As much as I belong to them, they belong to me.

No one asked them to take me in, to care for me. My heart was as broken and battered as my body, my mind screamed for the loss of my love. Slowly they taught me that my world did not end with him, that I could survive.

I couldn’t tell you when survival became living, or when I discovered that there was still hope in the world. I couldn’t tell you when I came to love them, or when they came to love me.

Together we are a family.

Don't wanna go to work tomorrow and other stuff............

I've discovered a problem with having long weekends........... come Monday night I really don't want to go back to work again the next day.

This has been the second of four long weekends I am having to use up my annual leave - I had good intentions to write, do housework, buy Christmas gifts......... what I've done is catch up on a lot of sleep and laundry, and broken in a new pair of Converse.

Turns out the breaking in of new shoes was a bloody good and long overdue occurrence..... my knees and back have been particularly bad for the last couple of months - not unusual this time of year - but my right knee in particular was starting to worry me .... but miraculously.... or probably not... wearing new shoes for a few days and my knee is tonnes better - turns out I need to replace my shoes before they are almost completely warn through because the way I walk wears down the soles in a certain way to make my knees twist and hurt my back.......... I shall try to remember this!  

Okay, so I did write a bit over the weekend.... but then I decided today that in fact I suck at it, can't do it and that everything I write is crap....... I don't know why I do this every single bloody time I am about a third of the way through writing something, it's like my self confidence has this trigger point and implodes....... okay, not helped by the fact I beta read something for an author whose work I love ..... I need to go read something published by a mainstream author that is truly crap so that I can remind myself I can do this....... and, erm, soon... cos like 5th December deadline is looming ominously!  

I say this about my writing at the same time as discovering my LHNB story has been nominated in one of the categories in the M/M group's 2013 awards......... 

What else....... erm........ the wing mirror dropped off my car today - I must go get it fixed......... if of course come tomorrow morning I can get out the driveway as we are promised freezing temperatures overnight - and they aren't kidding - the thermometer is dropping rapidly......... oh and I need to get petrol on the way to work as I forgot earlier.... 

Ah well, I should go get some more bits and pieces done......... like more knitting of Christmas hat the second. .... before bed time....

100 Words...

The cold metal of the gun’s muzzle ran up my spine, through the goose-bumps that had risen on my skin.  It came to rest, pushing hard at the base of my skull.  

My heart rate accelerated.  My head started to spin, the air seemed to rush from my lungs.… and I did something I’ve never done before.

“Tortoise.” I gasped.

The gun was flung to one side.  I felt the bed next to me dip with his weight.  Warm hands took me by the shoulders and pulled me over into his solid body.

“It’s fine. You’re safe,” he whispered.

Some things I have learnt this week.........

- Do not, ever, under any circumstances, give your cats brand new cat nip mice at around 8 pm........ because when you try to go to bed a couple of hours later your cats will be trying to attempt their version of the Cresta Run (it felt like was cold enough, we've had frost the last few days) around your bedroom and have the most amazing blown pupils ..... hiding under the duvet isn't good cos every twitch you make you get attacked.......... and that was before Gina got the munchies and decided to empty all the draws in  the bedside cabinets in an attempt to work out if there were treats available!

- No matter how securely you think you've managed to wedge the new "cat gym" into the corner between the bookcase and the wall..... at 3 am one of the cats will manage to get the whole thing to fall over and crash, loudly, onto the floor.  I think they get bonus points if they can get from the crows nest type basket at the highest point onto your head as they do this........ scratches on your chin and neck are kind of hard to explain......

- If you make your packed lunch in the early hours (okay it was about 6 am) it's better to turn the lights on .... I swear the cucumber moved and made the knife attack my fingers....

- When pouring boiling water out the kettle, concentrate, because pouring it all over your other hand as it's hovering around near the mug is really not a good idea......... thankfully only a bit scalded as I got it under the cold water tap asap

- Remember to get the dogs chicken wings out the freezer the night before.... jumping up and down on a bag of wings that are all stuck together in the middle of the yard in the early hours (yep, just before the finger slicing) is a very silly thing to do - particularly if it's wet and slippery underfoot..... oh yeah, and it's better to probably wear shoes when doing this.... frozen chicken bones are sharp....

- When you have a complete melt down the week before in your counselling session, your counsellor will not accept that you are "fine" this week and will want you to talk.............watching the fish in the tank in the corner of his office was a much better option...

- There is nothing wrong with the battery on my mobile phone.......... it just really helps to turn socket switch to on when you put it on to charge......

Yep - it really has been one of those weeks!! :)

100 Words....

I haven't done one of these for a while, but the M/M group on Goodreads have started up a weekly flash fiction thread... so I thought, what the hell....

We’d talked long into the night about it.  But now the time was right.  I could feel the approaching dawn even through the thick heavy drapes that kept the room dark.

Pulling him up from the bed he stood before me.

“Ready?” I asked staring into his eyes.  He nodded.  

Stepping forwards, his arms snaked around me. I felt the cold metal of his watch strap against my shoulder, his other hand spread across the crack of my arse.

I heard him take a deep shuddering breath as he tilted his head to one side.

My teeth closed through flesh.

Deadlines!

My life, of a sudden, seems to be full of deadlines.......

I've a short story to write and submit by 5th December.... which is started, plotted, and being written... but well, so far as writing goes, until the deadline is really close I faff about and don't actually get on with it - which probably explains why I have difficulties in finishing off writing un-promised stories...

Then there's my mother's request for 3 knitted beanie hats for my nieces (sort of, they are my cousins' kids) - she asked me today .. and can I do them by the 6th December ... only then she can take them with her when she goes for the weekend, rather than posting them.... I haven't even started these yet - they'll take a day each, roughly, well 4 hours, but that's my limit for knitting each day or my joints start to rebel!

Work wise I am used to some of the deadlines, the ones for turning work round, but I have a deadline for my application for the deputy team leader post... which means I really need to get round to sorting out my CV to accompany it... preferably before the end of this weekend...

Then there are the dreaded Christmas deadlines...I need to have my cards and presents for abroad done and ready for posting by about 10th December......... which means at some point soon I need to get my finger out and actually work out what I am buying and go get it (actually I have bought some bits and pieces, I went to the shop for dog food this evening and came out with a bag of bits and pieces for people.... and the dog food, I did remember this time, on Thursday I went to the shop and forgot completely to buy what I needed....)

All this of course reminds me of the Douglas Adams quote - "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

Maybe I should give up doing all forms of housework until after Christmas.... just so I can meet the deadlines...

Move along, nothing to see here.....

Hmmm... for some reason today the whole, smile, nod, tell everyone I'm fine version of coping fell apart....... in the middle of the office, which was really embarrassing.... the tipping point was something totally stupid and not even my problem

I then had counselling........ yeah, that wasn't so much fun either....

Tonight has been spent curled up on the sofa under a blanket feeling very numb and shut down........ I couldn't tell you what was on TV or what I tried to read...... writing was totally beyond me..... in fact, this entry probably isn't making much sense either.

I just want to curl up into a ball and cry....I'd also like to actually get some sleep .... possibly long enough to wake up when the world is a much better place to be in.... or I want some one to hold me and tell me everything will be okay

I also really, really want my dad back

Updating by numbers (though it could be by rants!)

1. It is bonfire night - or more properly Guy Fawkes night - the night we strange British people celebrate someone not quite blowing up the houses of parliament by lighting fires and burning effigies of him - though these days it's more an excuse for letting off fireworks ....... lots of fireworks......... they've been going off in great numbers from Saturday - though Sunday was Diwali which accounted for quite a lot of them.  Luckily the dogs aren't bothered at all by them and like to sit out in the run and watch - however, it was a bit much for Gretchen this evening as the kids in the flats at the end of the garden (kind of) are holding a display and letting lots off at the boundary wall......... Gretchen has just spent 5 minutes barking her displeasure at them!

2. I am totally and completely disgusted by Amazon and their delivery service.  I was offered a trial of Prime, their next day delivery, and on Wednesday night last week ordered a couple of things for my sister's birthday - on the grounds they'd be here on Friday for her birthday Saturday....... I waited in all day Friday - no delivery.  I phoned up the courier service - all they could tell me was that it was on the van - it never arrived.  Saturday they don't deliver - I had to rush out and buy an extra present - Monday I was told that it was on the van again - I stayed in - no delivery - I ranted to Amazon.  Today I was assured it would be delivered - but when I got home, guess what, no delivery and no card through the door.  Again I ranted to Amazon - only to be told that as they'd tried to deliver the parcel on three occasions, they were now returning it to Amazon!! I would be refunded in 2 - 3 days and if I still wanted the goods would need to re-order!  To say I was irate would have been the understatement of the week.......... my formal letter of complaint garnered a phone call from Amazon - they are investigating further!

3. I have had to put the heating on - that is to say the gas fire in the lounge - as we had our first frost and it's now not getting about +5C - don't laugh people in colder climates - so far, we've had lightly toasted dog and the smell of burning dust - but hey, it's warm in here - the rest of the house is like an ice box mind!  I really  need to try and sort something out about fixing my heating!

4. I wonder why I try to do NaNo - it appears I cannot write for myself - I need a deadline and someone to let down if I don't get it done!  I plotted, I planned, I had an outline........... I ditched it all to write a sci-fi M-preg story for someone..... I have a 5th December deadline....... i've got the first 1000 words done, and it's amusing me greatly - whether it will amuse anyone else we shall have to wait and see.

5.  I went back to work today after the first of my long weekends - I have another 3 before the end of the year - I wondered after about 30 minutes why the hell I'd bothered to have time off as I had a gazillion e-mails to deal with, loads of queries and even though I was off on Monday my team leader managed to need to text me with a couple of questions that she decreed couldn't wait - heaven forbid I have an actual day off at some point!!

Right that's probably enough venting of frustrations for one post - I am off to write more about my pregnant alien and his quest to find little emo-goth boy that knocked him up and break the good news to him.........

Saturday song.....

This one has been on the radio a few times recently, and whilst normally not my thing she does have a nice voice and the lyrics amuse me - it sums up completely how in today's society whatever you do someone won't approve so you might as well do your own thing!

There may be ranting ahead............

At least I've managed to make my sister a birthday cake!!

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday.... and being the first after dad died she's more than a little upset to start with.  She wants to open and play the video he e-mailed a couple of years back of him singing happy birthday to her, but at the same time doesn't want to at all.

We have plans to take her out for the day and keep her busy, there is a posh meal booked at a nice restaurant, there is cake (well half a cake at the moment, it's in three layers cooling on the side so I can fill it with cherry stuff and coat it in chocolate ganache later) and there will be presents.........or there should be!

I decided to use the Amazon Prime's next day delivery service... I ordered on Wednesday night, and yesterday they confirmed that they'd been dispatched, delivery was due today........ so I've been in all day so I don't miss them...... the tracker said between 10.47 and 12..47 this morning.... by 4pm I was getting ansty, but a note had gone up on the tracker page saying bear with them their driver was delayed

By 5.30 pm the last time they deliver, I phoned the helpline - to be told, not to worry the driver was experiencing some delays and that they should be with me shortly, phone back at 6.30 pm if there hadn't been a deliver.......so, 6.30 pm I am on the phone again....... only they can't phone the local depot because they aren't answering their phone - but I shouldn't expect a delivery today now

So, my sister's birthday breakfast at 8.30 am tomorrow, when we are giving her her presents, keeping her mind of things, stuff like that.... yep, her older sister hasn't even got a present for her..... I am not at all happy.... I have filed a complaint citing their incompetence, and requesting  a full refund of the 30 minutes I have spent trying to phone their customer service on the only peak rate number they have!

Why do companies make promises of next day guaranteed delivery if they are going to fuck it up completely??

I shall have to try get something else now, at silly o'clock tomorrow morning, as a temporary present - until the ejits finally deliver the presents I've ordered for her..........

I am also not happy because being stuck at home, in November, all day, with no heating, and it chucking it down with rain all day, means that I am frozen, stiff and my joints are screaming obscenities at me!  I want to go to bed now, but I've a cake to decorate!

October books........... Spooky !!

Well not really spooky at all.... Well, there will be because at some point later on tonight I shall curl up on the sofa and read Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett (again) as this halloween I am in need of some fun and amusement .... and they won't let me terrorise small children who come to the door......

So anyway, it was October, books were read, 22 of them in total...

My pick this month would be Heidi Cullinan's Life Lessons, with Kendall McKenna's Strength of The Wolf and the latest Lang Downs Story by Ariel Tachna - Conquer the Flames coming close behind.  I am also really enjoying the Hell or High Water series from S.E. Jakes.

1.                It’s like this – Orbiting Jupiter (freebie)

2.                Point of No Return – N.R. Walker  - this was my PIFM book this month wich I really enjoyed - enough to pick up another by the author later in the month

3.                Beyond Duty – SJD Peterson

4.                A Pirates Life for Me – Tricia Owens - this one was good, but ends really abruptly, sadly it didn't make me go out buy the next book to see what happens, it just really pissed me off that the author felt the need to do that

5.                Racing for the Sun – Amy Lane

6.                Strength of the Wolf – Kendall McKenna

7.                Ethan in Gold – Amy Lane - I over did the Amy Lanes this month - 3 in a month really was pushing it.  I was looking forward to this one in particular, but whilst enjoyable I really wasn't as impressed with it as I was with the first two in the series.

8.                Drawing Closer – Jane Davitt

9.                On Fire – Zachary Drew

10.            Heart’s Home – H.B. Pattskyn

11.            Love Lessons – Heidi Cullinan

12.            The Locker Room – Amy Lane

13.            Bound by Danger – S.E. Jakes

14.            Bound for Keeps – S.E. Jakes

15.            65 Hours – N.R. Walker (freebie)

16.            Divide & Conquer – Abigail Roux (r)

17.            Armed & Dangerous – Abigail Roux (r)

18.            Nine Tenths of the Law – L. A. Witt

19.            Conquer the Flames – Ariel Tachna

20.            Catch a Ghost – S. E. Jakes

21.            Good Boy – Anne Tenino

22.            Long Time Gone – S. E. Jakes

I am about to launch onto a re-read of Thom Lane's Tales of Amaranth series as I picked up the 5th book to read as part of the Scavenger Hunt books this month and I realised I read them so long ago I need to refresh my memory - which may be a sign of old age!

I am not sure how much reading will get done this month as I attempt to write for NaNo... yeah, the reading may well win out!!

Decisions, decisions…….

Something I well and truly suck at making!  Whether it’s something life changing or just what to have for tea – I really don’t do making decisions (as evidenced by the fact my tea last night was crackers and goats cheese whilst I thought about what I wanted and then didn’t get round to it)

Anyway, more importantly – I have a decision to make….. a work related decision…. and this is going to be mainly rambling as I try to make a decision….

Now that one of our team has left the position of deputy team leader has is vacant and yesterday I was hauled into a meeting with my team leader and asked if I would apply for it….. I think I might have nodded vaguely….

The thing is, I am not sure whether I want the role or not …. okay sure, it’s a step up the ladder, and one I will probably need to take at some point in the future if I want to advance in the firm…..  but our team leader isn’t big on delegating and when I stepped up and covered for 9 months whilst the colleague that has left was on maternity leave I basically did nothing in addition to what I usually do work wise.  Now, I said this yesterday and was told that this would change if I did take the post – we are expecting 3 new starters in the team, none of whom have much experience and would need a high level of supervision some of which would fall to me. 

Now my team leader and I have very different management styles – she is a meddler and micromanager whereas I tend to let people get on with what they are doing on the understanding they will come to me if they need help.  Is it possible for us to work together with the rest of the team if our approaches are so different? 

Then there is also my own work…. I have my own targets to meet – will there be any allowance if part of my time is now going to be spent supervising rather than cracking on with my own work?  Or will I just be expected to take on more.  I have a rule that work stops at home time and stays at the office – this is because if it doesn’t I find it starts taking over the whole of my waking life – and it’s no fun when you can’t have any time off without worrying what’s on your desk, or when you start your day by making lists of what needs to be done at work, or waking in the middle of the nigh because you’re sure you’ve forgotten to do something or missed a deadline.  I have got myself in such a stressed out state by work in the past that I know I have to separate firmly my home and work life  - will I be able to still do this if I take on the post?

The other issue is…. there is no financial reward to being deputy team leader.  Yeah, seriously, you get to take on extra responsibility for no extra pay….

So yeah, the con’s are far outweighing the pro’s at the moment…. But then we come to the big two….. there is no one else within the team to take on the role and in the larger department as a whole the only person that is likely to apply is someone neither my team leader or I really get on with…. and …. for our different work styles, my team leader and I are friends and we are able to have a relaxed working environment because of that – I don’t want to let her down or upset her by not taking on the role, but I don’t want the friendship to change if I do…

Okay, I officially have absolutely no idea what I want to do about this……. maybe I can find someone to decide for me – that’s my favourite way of making decisions!

Autumnal musings.........

Autumn in the Peak District

Well in the last week autumn has well and truly arrived, with temperatures struggling to reach double figures and the first signs of overnight frost.

The leaves are glorious colours, and falling quite fast, unfortunately this does tend to make it a bit slippery underfoot.

We've also had more rain in the last week than we have had for a couple of months.  My days have been along the lines of - take the dogs out and get wet, come home and dry off, shower and get wet again, get dry and dressed, go out to the car and get wet, drive to work, walk from the car park to work and get wetter..... then sit in the office in wet clothes all morning whilst the freezing because the air con/heating system is confused.....  I have given serious consideration to either hibernating or becoming a duck......... rumour has it that I will be a very pretty duck.........

At home I haven't given in and put the fire on in the lounge, or plugged in the electric heater upstairs - much to the annoyance of the cats, who are spending more time under the duvet .... that said, any sign of sunlight and they are basking in it whilst they can.  At least the dogs have nice thick coats and don't mind the cold.

This weekend is the most definite sign that autumn is here....... the clocks go back......

Unfortunately, i don't get to enjoy the extra hour in bed........ because the dogs really don't understand the whole concept of changing the time......... it normally takes about a week for them to adjust to the time change.  It will start with a battle at the old time of 10 pm when they will want to go into their night crates but gradually I can persuade them to a bit later each night - which of course means they'll also get up a bit later......

This weekend my mum has visitors and is heading off with them to the farmers market, I am meeting them for lunch at the station cafe out in the peak district so will get to drive out across the moors and will be able to look at some spectacular countryside.  At this time of year, the last of the heather is holding on giving the ground a purplish touch in places, the grass is yellow green and the trees still holding their leaves will look amazing.  If it's been raining the gritstone outcrops will look really dramatic too.  The peak district is one of my favourite places to go to feel grounded, when I see the natural beauty of the landscape then it suddenly becomes easy to shake off hassles of work and home life and remember that somethings just aren't that important in the grand scheme of things.

Involuntary knitting and miscellaneous stuff..........

My knitting mojo ran away a while ago - I think mainly it happened in degrees... first there was the Kindle, which pulled me in in the spare time I used to spend knitting... secondly there was the fact that I really wasn't flapped by watching anything on television, which was when I did most of my knitting - well apart from when my knitting and I had a night our afternoon being social....... and then there was the arrival of the laptop and interwebs back downstairs in my house......... so many distractions to keep me from my yarn (the realisation that I'd got to the stage where I owned far more sock yarn than people I could ever knit socks for might also have had something to do with it)

So, for the last 18 months or so I've been knitting the same two pairs of socks......... well I knitted a gargoyle too - and another one just needs his wings finishing.... but still, hardly productive...... and that would have been it until I found my mojo again............ only my aunt did the worst thing possible........ she sent my mum a pattern for a child's beanie hat - with the words - "if she could just do a couple for the Christmas charity collection we'd be very grateful... oh and I'll collect them when I come to stay at the end of October" .... yeah, so mum hands me the pattern and that's it..... I am doomed to knit beanie hats....... I did two over the weekend (it occupied my hands whilst my mind rolled around in the gutter) - but six hours of knitting over two days when you've not done any for a while took it's toll on my shoulders..... so I had last night off and returned to the third beanie tonight.  I hate being volunteered to knit things but this was something I couldn't get out of.

I suppose in a way it's kept my mind off other things going on in my life - the sorting out of dad's estate is turning out to be a little fraught (that may be something of an understatement) and I am having moments where I am failing at the whole coping thing.  Work has also been a bit of a nightmare as a friend and colleague was due to leave today but ended up walking out half way through last week after about a fortnight of some severe workplace arguments which left the atmosphere in the team really tense and difficult to work in.  

Aside from that, I've finished my challenge books for October so am happily reading things lurking on the kindle and trying not to buy any more till next month at least!  That said, next month there will be less read as there are intentions to NaNo still - there is even a vague plot

and a main character.......... here she is.........

Yep - going for the YA f/f cat shifter story.......

My mind......

Okay, my excuse was that I needed to unwind, relax and have a little fun

So I wondered round the interwebs for the weekend

in between reading (mainly smut)

and unsurprisingly my mind rolled away into the gutter.

I've caught up with it now, and well, if it is to get to work in any fit state by tomorrow.....

this sign kind of says it all!

NaNo... take 3....

So, having failed at the last two attempts, what on earth am I thinking about trying to take part in NaNoWriMo again this year.

Well, a couple of reasons really.  Firstly, I am not in the same position I was the last time I tried - because yes, in the end, trying to do NaNo when my finals were in the middle of November was really a non starter last year.  Whilst I can't guarantee what happened the first year I tried - where I was allocated two historic child abuse matters to work on as part of my day job and couldn't fictionalise anything to do with abuse whilst I was dealing with that - won't happen again, I can minimise the chances by not writing anything remotely involving abuse.

The other big reason for trying again is down to the fact that my dad always believed in me and supported me when it came to writing.  He read a lot of my scribblings in their very early stages and would do things like send me landscape photos for inspiration .... taking photos was one of his many hobbies and one we shared. Even when he was on oxygen and unable to walk very far we would drive out into Derbyshire to find inspiring views, unusual trees, deer in the mist - my GR avatar and background to my Twitter profile is a photo he took of one of our favourite places.

As of last night I had a shortlist of five potential stories I've been playing with for a while.... and this afternoon I think I've decided what I am going to write.

I have another couple of weeks to plot and find some more inspiration for my characters .... I already have an opening scene in my  mind which is always a good thing.

Who know, maybe this year I can do it.

They'd be skeletons in the closet in any other family.....

Wednesday nights, after my (currently) weekly talk about myself session with my counsellor I head off to my mum's for dinner.... which is always fun.

Tonight we have been reminiscing ..... mainly bought about by the fact that Dad's partner had mentioned that there were a couple of locked files on his computer that she can't get into and my mum had suggested, quite tactfully, that perhaps it would be better if she just deleted them rather than trying to get into the files.

We pondered and speculated on what they might be and came up with two conclusions - one was probably porn and the other was possibly conversations he was having with other women, or as mum added quite casually other men.....

Now, here's the thing, I knew that in the past my mum had had flings with other women - she happily told my sister and I when we were quite young about how she was curious so went to a gay club in London in the 60's and went home with women to see what it was like.  Tonight she was telling me of a couple of short relationships she'd had with women before she met and married dad.

She's decided that these days she'd have said she was bi, we did talk about what being bi curious was, but she said it was obviously more than curiosity given that it wasn't a one off to satisfy a curiosity.  She did suggest that perhaps she might mention that she'd decided she was bi to the ladies at the gym just to see their reaction....

Apparently she wasn't the only one who was curious.... although dad left mum for another woman, after they split up for a while dad was on his own and it wasn't something he was good at (he was a serial monogamist and normally had the next partner lined up before he left the previous one, or they left him).... so, with mum's support and blessing, he did his own experimenting with men he met at the university he was studying at at the time.

I can't say I am overly surprised by this given my parents easy acceptance not only of me being gay but of their other gay friends and the number of people, particularly in mum's case, who have chosen to come out to them rather than their own parents or the way we were brought up for it to not be an issue.

However, we think his partner (I should say widow - but again with the whole, no sorry, can't do it) would be pretty horrified - she is terribly straight laced about this sort of thing.  I have to say, to satisfy my own curiosity if she doesn't delete the files on the computer I wouldn't mind having a crack at working out the password just to see what he was hiding .... mum was quite interested when I mentioned that it wouldn't be the first porn I'd seen on the computer if that was what it was - I just hope she's not going to try looking at porn on her computer....

Bits and pieces...........

Ah look... updating by numbers again.......

1. Hugo went back to the vets this evening - for the third time in less than a fortnight - and thankfully got the all clear (just before he bankrupted me!).  His eye is now back to normal and the sinusitis is all cleared..... he has a new fan though.  The young vet we saw on Thursday last week was terribly excited to meet his first ugly naked cat that he asked loads of questions, then tonight he spent a greater part of the appointment just cuddling him and Hugo treated him to his parrot impersonation by balancing on his shoulder whilst nibbling the vets ear and hair

2.  Hope, Gretchen and Kammi are all at "that part" of their season....... there are very rude things going on around my ankles ... thank goodness no one can see into the house!  Ivan bless him, has been very good this time and not molested Hope every time she stood still... mind you that might be because Gretchen has been quite dominant with everyone and he's a bit scared!

3. I have a cold.... thanks to my work colleagues who have carefully shared their germs with me.  I've been muzzy headed and sniffling for the past few days.  I am carefully dosed up on cold cures and drinking hot lemon and honey to try and get rid of it.

4. In other work related news - I finally got my days off over Christmas agreed - I have to go in and work New Year's Eve, but I finish on 18th and don't go back till 31st December which is rather fine.  I also have Friday/Monday off every other week during November ..... and I'm still carrying five days to next year!

5. Summer has officially ended here....... it's been getting darker in the mornings and evenings for a while, the leaves are turning and drifting off the trees.......... and we have frost and possibly snow forecast for the end of the week...... yeah, time to break out the woolly jumpers!

6.  I am still spending a lot of time hiding in my kindle, away from real life.  It's kind of safe there so I am staying for a while.

Saturday song.....

This was played a couple of times on the radio recently and I rather liked it.... and I like her voice.......

Cat wrangling .............

Alas, poor Hugo is poorly.... toward the end of last week I noticed he had a bit of a watery eye and was hearing the occasional sneeze... so he was kept warm and happy (roughly translated as he buried himself in my duvet and refused to come out unless food was involved) but alas by Saturday his left eye was gunked shut and he was mouth breathing and sneezing all over the place...... so off we went to the vets.....

by the time we'd got there I was almost completely deaf - for a cat that couldn't breath properly he couldn't half yowl at the top of his voice!

The vet and I pondered on the mysteries of how an indoor cat might get cat flu...... and then decided that on balance it probably wasn't .... so he had eye drops put in that turned his eyes a lovely florescent yellow.... to determine if there was an eye injury... there wasn't.... and then he had a small capillary tube put up his nose....... which he objected to most strongly.... but we couldn't flush out any foreign objects...... that said - have you seen how small a cat's nostrils are... I mean, it's not like a child... and they don't have the prehensile digits to say, shove lego up their noses.....

After some deliberation.... and hilarity as we tried to weigh him.... we decided that he probably had sinusitis and a course of antibiotics and eye drops were called for....

So twice a day I am cat wrangling....... the first phase of which is to actually find the damn cat........ do you know how many places I have upstairs in my house where Hugo can be just out of my reach??  I've resorted to climbing on things I probably shouldn't, hanging over the edge of beds trying to reach him as he hides in the middle underneath and even rugby tackling him as he runs past towards the door......

So far there have been variable successes...... though apparently he feels once I am in bed at night it's safe and he can crawl under the duvet with me and I won't get him......... I am not sure why he forgets that this works for me every time!

Then we come to the part where you have the cat by the scruff with one hand and are desperately trying to open the tamper proof box of antibiotic tablets with the other - that other being the one you don't normally use..... I've an interesting collection of scratches up one arm and on one side of my body from this phase.

Once I've got the tablet in my hand it's fairly easy to get him to take it.... well, I open his mouth, he looks totally outraged and freezes and I throw the tablet down as far as I can ......... he then swallows on reflex.

The eye drops are more fun.... particularly as there is no way of guessing how much of the damn stuff is going to come out the teeny tiny little tube as I try to keep him still, his eye open and drop the drops at the same time.......

All over I let him go...... and he moves precisely three paces away from me and waits for a treat......... and all is well till we get to do it all over again..... frankly by the time I've done this I am exhausted!  Thankfully only a couple more days of medication to go - we are off back to the vets on Thursday night to get the all clear - fingers and paws crossed!

It was September... I hid in a book or 30....

So, not really very surprisingly, I spent much of this month letting real life sneak past me whilst I buried myself as deep as I could in my Kindle.  Yes, it helped, though I am obviously still grieving - and becoming very familiar with 3.20 am when my mind is normally full of thoughts about dad and things I wish I'd told him - so blogging on general terms is going to be a bit thin on the ground for a some time to come.  Logically, I know that this stage will pass, but right now my brain and logic are not really on speaking terms.

So onto some books.

My favourites this month include the final installment of Kaje Harper's Life Lesson's series - Learning Curve - which rounded things off nicely without making it too sickly sweet and implausible as some other series finales have done recently.  Josephine Myles new release Junk was a really good read as was  Disasterology 101 by Taylor Donovan.  I am not normally big on vampire novels, but I really liked Spirit Sanguine and the short follow up.  Gumption & Gumshoes by Alex Kidwell was one of the eccentric reads that made me smile - quite a difficult feat at present so definitely worth a mention!

No real horrors - though Remastering Jerna was a bit of a let down and I didn't particularly enjoy Fate Lends a Leg though this was more to do with the editing which should have been tightened and perhaps removed a couple of the unnecessary plot lines.

So, the list in total (which includes a lot of comfort re-reads):

1. Life Lessons – Kaje Harper (r)
2. Junk – Josephine Myles

3. From Don to Dom – Naaju Rorrete (LHNB, Novella)

4. Last of the Summer Tomatoes – Sherrie Henry (YA)
5. Disasterology 101 – Taylor Donovon
6. Gamble Everything – Carrie Waites
7. Spirit Sanguine – Lou Harper
8. Late Night Snack – Lou Harper
9. Gumption & Gumshoes – Alex Kidwell
10. Running Deer and Hidden Badger – K.D. Sarge (LHNB Novella)
11. The Executive Lounge – Angela Benedetti (LHNB Novel)
12. Iron Butterfly – Mousegirl65 (PIFM)
13. Stranded – Andrew Grey
14. Driftwood – Harper Fox
15. Brownies (Hammer Short) – Sean Michael
16. Why I love Geeks – T.A. Chase
17. Measure of Devotion – Caethes Faron
18. Measure of Strength – Caethes Faron
19. Gilliflowers – Gillibran Brown (r)
20. Learning Curve – Kaje Harper
21. Remastering Jerna – Anne Somerville
22. Wild Magic – Poppy Dennison
23. Accidental Alpha – Poppy Dennison
24. Fate Lends a Leg – Jax Cordoba (YA)
25. My Fair Captain – J.L. Langley (r)
26. The Englor Affair – J.L. Langley (r)
27. My Relegance Rake – J.L. Langley (r)
28. Sticks & Stones – Urban & Roux (r)
29. Fish & Chips – Urban & Roux (r)
30. Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty – Mousegirl05