Sitting on my hands.....

I am in that difficult situation of having to sit on my hands and not type a response I'd like to to a comment on a thread on the Goodreads YA LGBT group... I didn't think it bothered me, turns out, after 24 hours or so of thinking it through.. you know what, actually it does....

The book of the month for February looks like, for the first time, being a F/F one rather than an M/M one - which given that the group is all inclusive should be fine.  Ok, I appreciate that some may not have read an F/F book before, may feel a bit iffy about it, or may sit out .... that's up to them.... though as it's YA it's not going to be explicit or possibly do anything but fade out an implied incident.

What I didn't expect was a comment as follows:  "Lesbians make me nervous"

Now because I couldn't leave it initially I responded by saying that as a lesbian I wasn't sure how to take that (and pointed out that I don't think I'm particularly scary).... now the original poster clarified that he didn't mean to offend, and well, no, he didn't because if lesbians make him nervous that's a personal statement not a ground for offence and then went onto explain that basically the only lesbians he knew were quite fierce butch ones  (as an aside - I did point out that some butch type lesbians actually make me nervous... but probably not in the way he means!  that said groups of children hanging about on street corners make me nervous, straight men in bars make me nervous)

Anyway, someone else then responded that maybe only the fierce ones felt safe (in that particular area) being out enough to be recognised .....and this is what has got me thinking WTF and wanting to respond...... "recognised" sorry.. do we have to have some sort of sign on us to enable us to be recognised in public settings?  I didn't think we were going down the route of having to identify your sexuality by your appearance... hell just stick a label on someone why don't you so you can "recognise" them if they don't fall into the "oh you must be a lesbian because of the way you look" category!

Unsurprisingly I know a fair few lesbians, only a very small percentage of which could be described as butch - many of which are what actually very young just out lesbians who aren't fierce at all... but you know what, most of the rest of us look just like, well, most other females you come across.....

Not being funny... but if someone had suggested that it was a pity that only effeminate gay men had the confidence to be out and "recognised" I am sure someone would have made noises about it.......

As much as I'd like to stand up and point out that actually the comments are giving people perhaps the wrong idea about stereotyping and labelling, I can't help but feel that the location of the thread would be inappropriate for me to start what would be really a mini rant...... though then again, any young lesbian coming across it may be put off..... argh, I wish I could decide what to do for the best, until then I shall go back to sitting on my hands......