So that was Christmas....

Tis all over and alas I must go back to work tomorrow

*stamps feet and throws hands around dramatically*

Don't want to!!

So, Christmas Eve.... mum's party was great fun and as usual I spent most of my time acting as bar person, guide to the edibles and finder of suitable things for children to eat..... which brings us to the nipple buns...  I hadn't actually planned on telling anyone bar my sister about how said buns had been making me chuckle and why.... only she told mum...... who then decided to have a guessing game of "what are these meant to represent" with nearly everyone....... the funniest comments being from her cleaner who got the whole boob reference... at which point his partner declared that in fact he should not know anything about how they looked like boobs/nipples as he hasn't really had the experience with them.... to which my mother calmly pointed out that I made them and that to be honest I was probably, out of everyone in the room (at that point, one gay couple, two straight women, one about to be rather shocked elderly het couple and me) the expert on boobs so should know.......... I should be used to my mother by now, but really!

Christmas Day was spent at my sisters, and after home made chocolate croissants and decaf coffee there was present opening and much amusement .... I then ran away for peace, tranquillity and emergency chocolate at home for a couple of hours... oh okay, I went to check on the critters.  I went back later for a lovely lunch involving far too many vegetables..... the hazelnut and chocolate meringue went down very well and has been asked to feature at future events.....  For some reason my sister changed the rules regarding washing up in her house (usually we don't wash up in each other's houses... it stems from the fact that my mother although willing to wash up is in fact really bad at it and you have to rewash half of it....  personally I think she did this on purpose).... this year it was decreed that I could wash up.... which I did..... though only after causing much amusement when each time I sidled along my sister's extremely narrow galley kitchen I had to stop every three paces to detach my knicker elastic from the handles of the kitchen doors.....

Today I took things very easily this morning and then went back to my sisters for a few hours this afternoon where we did jigsaws, read and finished up some of the left overs.

And now I have to get ready to go back to work tomorrow.....  I have a list of little bitty things that I never get round to normally to try and finish off before New Year so that is the plan..... well, aside from faffing about on the net and catching up on the gossip with the skeleton staff that will be working with me

Further adventures in research....

Well, it has to be said, sometimes I really don't think things out before acting....... I know this, people have told me this (frequently)... but sometimes, you know a good idea in your head is hard to see past and look at the possible outcomes....

Which brings us to last night's exploits...

Having decided to take yesterday off work despite my visitors cancelling I spent the day very boringly doing housework and laundry.  Now these sort of mindless tasks allow the voices in my head to chatter at me and tell me their stories..... they haven't been playing ball recently so I was a little surprised to get a couple of them shouting quite loudly at me about what they wanted me to write.... unfortunately, they weren't the characters I'd been planning out for my NaNo (avoid the revision) project... they weren't even the incredibly familiar voices of my YA characters... they were two characters who appeared a while back, gave me some interesting ideas and then hid...

So when the house was marginally cleaner and upstairs resembled a Chinese laundrette with clothes hanging from every door frame I decided I'd at least write out some character profiles...... which is as near to plotting a story as I get.... So, older of the two characters was easy as he appears to be a lawyer and as I work with them all time time I could easily see him, his habits, his routine, his wardrobe etc..... younger character I have what he looks like, his tattoos/piercings, some of his habits and part of his wardrobe... the day time part...which comes from my commute too and from work when I drive past both universities..... only I then got to the question "what would he wear of an evening, say going out, or just for lounging around at home in?"

I pondered for a while and then had an "idea"....... it was Friday, I'd been home with the dogs all day so I would put them to bed at 9pm and then nip out in the car with my note book..... the plan was to park up initially in an area where there are lots of student houses, coffee shops and a long row of take away places and take some notes.... then wander across towards the town centre where there are a couple of big shiny loud bars and a couple of smaller pubs, one of which I know is a gay friendly pub (because our diversity group at work go in there out of term time)... I remembered there was a side street I could park in which would give me a visual access to all the venues...

So off I went.......... the first part was simple, I wrote down a load of details of what I saw and then headed up into town.... only I forgot to get to where I wanted to park I had to negotiate my way round some one way streets and the tram lines......a couple of wrong turns later I made it to where I wanted to be, parked up and took out my note book....

I was kind of lost in what I was doing when there was a loud tap at my window which sent the notebook flying, and my heart rate through the roof.....  Now it wasn't a brilliantly lit side street, and yes I'd locked all the doors.... so I cautiously wound down the window only to see a badge and hear the words "can you step out the car please".....  Yep, police officers, two of them.....

So I did as I was told and whilst one of them called in my car's details I provided my own to the other.... then it came to the explanation as to what I was doing..... I was researching for a story....... which got a sceptical raised eyebrow as one officer looked at the other..... they then proceeded to explain that my car had been picked up on their surveillance operation in the red light area.... which I'd forgotten ran between the university residences along the back streets up into town past where the old maternity hospital used to be.... and through the streets of which I'd been seen driving slowly on several occasions that evening... They'd then had a call from one of the security/door men of the bigger bars concerned at my presence in the side street and now wanted to know exactly what I was doing......and if they weren't satisfied with my explanation they would have to consider taking me to the police station for further questioning....

My explanation was extremely garbled... I ducked back into the car and grabbed the note book and waved it at them..... I am not sure whether or not they actually believed me, but their radio went off with a call out for something serious so I got told that I should move along and not loiter in the area again........

I was very relieved to get home and shut the door behind me..... I think I shall stick to surfing the net for my research for a bit... much safer that way....

Erm... ah... oops?

Well it had been a while, in fact almost four months, but I suppose it had to happen sooner or later....

yep my magical powers struck again ........

Saturday night I was up far too late (well into Sunday morning really) because I got sucked into a chat room on a new website I joined (though I didn't actually join in the chatter, I just lurked with intent)..... So, being a bit tired after the 5 am dog walk and feeding routine I decided sod it, it's Sunday, I am going read for a while, so I made myself comfortable in my corner of the sofa and must have drifted off because the next thing I knew was that there were protest songs coming from the stairs where the cats had wondered if I expected them to somehow feed themselves....

Having apologised to them profusely, well, filled their dishes up after which they promptly ignored me I decided it was actually time to get my backside into gear and get organised.....

Now, here I should explain, I live in a reasonably modern house, that is to say it was built in the 1980's, but it has the original boiler/heating system and a horrible electric shower which goes over the bath .....  So this morning I switched on said shower, got in (after having my feet attacked by Hugo who likes to wait for me to get one leg into the bath before attacking the other foot.... it's strange what amuses a cat)... there I was midway through my ablutions (shower gel of choice this morning was tea tree and mint) when suddenly, there was a bang, quite a loud bang, from the vicinity of just behind me on the wall, where the shower unit is... and then the water went cold.... the dogs started barking and the house alarm went off...

Now the house alarm going off like that signals that the electricity trip switch on the fuse box has switched itself off.... so I tentatively reached out and switched the water off .. before legging it downstairs to tell Ivan that the world wasn't coming to an end (bless him, he doesn't half over react at times) and to switch off the alarm, once I'd flipped the trip switch...... could I remember the alarm code as I am standing in the cupboard (which doubles as the downstairs toilet) staring blankly at the alarm panel.... whilst naked and dripping water and soap all over the place......

At which point my neighbour's teenage son knocks on the front door... his mother having sent him round to check I was okay.....

Luckily, I managed to remember the alarm code, reassured the child through the closed door that I was fine, and get myself organised enough to go finish washing..... albeit without using the shower...

Seems I'll be calling the plumber this week to get myself a nice new shower..... but why do these things always happen to me?

Today's conversation with my mother...

Saturday is laundry day which, as I still haven't got my washing machine replaced or fixed, means going to mothers for coffee (I wish!) and reading the news paper whilst I run my stuff through her washing machine (hey it's cheaper and mum is better company than the lecherous old bloke that I usually manage to attract if I go to the laundrette)

This morning, having finished the paper and switched to the kindle, I wasn't really concentrating on what she was saying as she was muttering over her Suduko (seriously, I am the scientific one in our family and I really really can't see the point... I derive great amusement by suddenly calling out random numbers whilst she is trying to complete the puzzles)

So my brain returned to focus on part of the conversation which revolved around having coffee in the gym and sitting with someone reading the 50 Shades book whilst there, because she didn't want to read it at home because of the children.....still not concentrating properly, mum then asked if I'd read it.....

Okay, now here's the bit where I really should have engaged my brain before opening my mouth as I replied... no I like my BDSM erotica to be better written, and not so much of the fluff and that whilst glitter kink was okay, I didn't really do het relationship books......it took about 30 seconds after I stopped speaking before I realised my mother was looking at me strangely.  


I explained that in my opinion, it's badly written fan fiction based on sparkly vampire halitosis boy and his friends (she doesn't like the twilight books and has banned all her pupils from mentioning them... the older ones she points them towards Robin McKinley's "Sunshine" instead) and that the whole BDSM relationship it so supposedly depicts is, well, laughable.

Unfortunately my washing was still going and I couldn't run away when she started asking me what books I had read, what my preferences were and if not het then what did I read..... I am glad she has an open mind, but I hate to think about what she'll be talking about in the gym next week given my preference for M/M, slave fic, a touch of non/dub con and some of the heavier kink based relationships....... I drew the line at recommending books she could pass on to the ladies at the gym....

like father like daughter apparently....

A blog post entry in which we studiously ignore the football....

I have had a quiet weekend.... that is to say, I spent most of yesterday hiding in my kitchen trying to ignore the local fete and talent contest.... because "insert name of area"'s got talent... is such a misnomer, it really doesn't judging by the sounds coming over the microphone from the local park .... Gretchen agreed and spent a great deal of time barking her disapproval.  Normally I have zero tolerance for the dogs barking (they're a breed that historically were watch dogs and meant to give warning of incoming danger, so their bark when they get going can be heard over a mile away... and I live in a residential area with 4 of the things...)  but yesterday I kind of let her have free rein, particularly when the third glee-esque type song was sung badly out of tune by a talentless teen!

Today I did war with the supermarket, the laundry and the house before heading to mum's for Sunday lunch... which was lovely... and then I made her watch the Grand Prix.... which just confirmed that I do still have a thing for Finnish racing drivers...

After the F1 had finished, as I was relaxing on her sofa getting on with the 2nd sock of the pair (yep I might actually finish a pair in under a month!) I forced mum to watch Wimbledon (the film not The Tennis - it's a bit of a family joke, when we were kids the TV was never on much except for Wimbledon fortnight... for ages, the TV was actually known as The Tennis) .... halfway through she started asking questions about the types of films I liked etc, and the actress in this one, and what else was she in... to which I reeled off a list of films...then she muttered about my kind of obsession with Emila Fox (plays Nikki Alexander in Silent Witness and was in Merlin as Morganna's sister)...

After a pause, she then sighed dramatically and said "you really do take after your father don't you"

No my immediate reaction was to check my chin for stubble (I have PCOS - it gives me the ability to grow a beard each months - it's not attractive, it's a pain in the flippin neck).... but no it was not this to which she referred.  I raised an eyebrow at her and she continued...

"Pretty blondes....., he always asked for a 5 foot 7 inch blond for Christmas.... your no bloody different." she muttered, to which I promptly went darkly red and dropped a couple of stitches.....

An accident prone kind of day

I don't remember reading in my horoscope that today was going to be one where I would be better wrapped in cotton wool and tucked away in a safe place.... It should have been...

It started shortly after I'd caved to the demands of rent-a-mob, at about 4.45 this morning.  After walking and feeding them I decided that 6am on a Saturday was way to early to get dressed (properly, I mean, I do wear clothes when walking the mob - just not clothes that I'd be seen out in in daylight, well when other people were around) so I decreed we should have a couple of hours sofa surfing... well snoozing.  All was well till I was startled awake by the phone and flipped over, managing to roll slightly off the sofa and crack my head against the coffee table.....

My adventures in being accident prone did not stop there...  having run the gauntlet of sugar hyped kids, sullen teenagers and harassed adults in the supermarket I got on the down travelator to the car park with my fully laden trolley, and then got side tracked watching people on the opposite side moving up... I get caught up with people watching, seeing their interactions, making up stories in my head about them... which is all well and good, except sometimes you get carried away and in this instance, when you get to the end of the travelator and go to step off not realising your floor length skirt is caught in the wheel of your trolley and end up pushing the trolley forwards and not quite following it, before going arse over tit in the middle of a crowded foyer of shoppers.... it wasn't elegant on the way down, and getting up lacked any finesse at all... I scurried off to the car extremely red faced.

As if that wasn't enough... I've just gone to get into my pj's and dressing gown, and the hook over the back of the bedroom door - which is metal and quite heavy - has just pinged off and hit me on the shoulder.

Definitely time for bed in the hope that tomorrow things will not be out to get me!

A conversation to remember!

There are some conversations that start quite innocently and then veer off into the territory of "no, stop, now, really, no".... today involved one such conversation, which was also quite amusing.

Imagine the scene, I have gone round to my mother's house this morning for coffee (and to use her washing machine because, hey you know, I'm her daughter... what do you mean perhaps I should get my own machine fixed... it's only been, erm, a couple of years...)

Anyway, so there we are and the conversation goes something like this...

Mum:  "Did you finish your story you were writing,"
Me: "Yes, all done and gone to my readers for proofing before I edit,"
Mum: "So where's my copy, have you e-mailed it to me?"
Me: "Er, no, well, I don't think you'd like it."
Mum: "Don't be silly, of course I'll like it, it's historical after all, you borrowed those books from me."
Me: "Well, yes, it's historical, but well it's an alternative piece."
Mum: "Alternative?"
Me: "Yes, it's got two heroes rather than the conventional hero and heroine couple"
Mum: "Yes, and why should that make a difference?"
Me: "Well it doesn't really, but it's not just a historical piece, it's, kind of a romance."
Mum: "So why won't you read it?"
Me: "It's not a young adult romance, it's an adult one."
Mum: "I'm 73, I think that counts as adult."
Me: (giving up in exasperation) "Fine, read it............but don't ask questions about how I can write about men giving other men blow jobs, and for goodness sake don't start asking random gay friends if it's accurate."

Things went silent for a bit after that
Then she asked

"but you're a Lesbian, how do you know about anything about giving men blow jobs never mind men giving other men blow jobs.........."

And luckily the washing machine finished and I am a coward so I ran away.......