Thinking positively.....

Today has felt like I've been in limbo.....

One of my "friends who live in the computer".... in fact one of my closest of these friends who helps maintain my sanity, particularly during the working day ..... has in real life been undergoing a fairly serious surgery today.  She signed off on line on Sunday night and unfortunately I won't know till she's well enough to be back on line that it's all gone well and that she's recovering

So as much as I can do is think very positive and healing thoughts in her direction and keep everything crossed that she's back to full strength very, very soon.

I did however send her a little something, which I hope she got before she went into hospital.....

Meet Malachai...... newly hatched pocket demon and personal protector against germs and all other forms of nasties....... Hopefully he's doing a good job watching over her whilst she recovers.

Weekend waffling.....

Welcome, to another boring weekend in my so called life!

Last night was it's usual Friday night wash out of being far too tired after the working week to do anything remotely exciting except curl up on the sofa and read.

Today, I had to go out and do things..... because in a fit of optimism during the week I decided that I was spending far too much on doing my shopping on line and having it delivered, plus I wasn't actually eating half the stuff I ordered, so I could just take myself to the supermarket and do the shopping...... which in theory was fine!

I wandered round to mother's first thing... okay, well about 10.30 am by the time I'd got my arse into gear and stopped faffing about.... so that I could do laundry and catch up on her gossip..... she's very good at gossip!  I was subjected to answering the questions in the standard crossword and the general knowledge quiz in her newspaper as I sat at the table and got on with my knitting....... though she refuses to do the suduko whilst I am there as apparently it's not helpful to have someone calling out random numbers as she's trying to think......

I did discover that I come by my inability to complete things genetically... and for once not from my father (from whom most of my strange traits come from).....  Earlier in the week I'd asked if she had any buttons as I needed some for a baby jumper I am meant to be knitting (said baby safely arrived today).... anyway, this caused her to tidy out her sewing box (mum, my sister and I all have the same boxes, they belonged to my grandma and her sisters.... whilst mum and sister actually have sewing stuff in theirs, mine is full of yarn.... oh and old photos for some reason).  Anyway, she brought out a couple of tapestry things she'd done and was going to get framed for some of her fairly young nieces........ and then she produced a table cloth she was embroidering..... and proceeded to explain that she'd started it when she was 18 but never finished it........ I've suggested she should try to finish it within the next 3 years....... as then it will at least have only taken her 60 years to complete.......... At this point I was informed I was a cheeky baggage ......

Anyway, after I'd run out of excuses not to leave and go shopping I went to the big supermarket... and drove round the car park...... and out of it....... having been struck by a complete feeling of "nope, not happening".  Now I know that I do get stressed out by busy large supermarkets - particularly when there are lots of kids, long queues and the cashiers are obviously in a hurry and throw things down the check outs....... but I just couldn't face it....... so I went to the much smaller (and in fact a lot cheaper) little supermarket (well hardly super) and managed to get just about everything I needed ....... though they don't do cat food that their imperial felinities find acceptable so I had to trog round to the pet shop afterwards.

Shopping was unpacked with only minor incident when I knocked over an open box of dog biscuits, which poured into the fruit bowl, over the side and down the gap between the cupboard and the cooker........ at which point I had to disconnect said cooker to pull it out and remove the biscuits, before the mob went through the front of it!  Yes, I switched off the gas first and did it very sensibly!

Tonight I have finished the scarf I was knitting for a Christmas present..... okay, so I didn't actually buy the yarn till the new year, but it's done now and only 6 weeks late... I shall send it with the postal fairies early next week and hopefully the recipient will get some use of it before spring arrives!   I should really get on with new baby's jumper..... though the last time I promised to do a baby jumper for a new born was just over four years ago...... and the "baby" is still waiting......

I think it is time to retire with a book now....... and then tomorrow I have a short story to write and housework to tackle before apparently the snow returns..... but as it's nothing like the people in parts of the US and Canada have at present I shall refrain from being typically British and moaning about the weather!

Taking time for myself

Normally I don't make myself promises to do things for me, because, well, at the end of the day, doing things for myself is something that seems to lack importance (as opposed to doing things for other people - which I know has led to me being told on several occasions that I am a doormat, who should only expect to get walked all over.... but I can't help it, it's just me, I like to do things for other people, hells I even like to look after other people, cook for them and stuff .... I don't consider myself a doormat, it's just the way I am).

So anyway, I made some decisions whilst I was off work over Christmas, part of which was that I was going to take time this year to do some things for myself.... the main one being to pluck up courage to go to the UK GLBT fiction meet in July....... as I posted a few days ago, the time off is now booked and I've realised that because I pay my Council Tax over 10 months rather than 12 I have a spare £90 in the budget in February and March..... £90 being the cost of the tickets for both days, but without a stay over (thank goodness it's only in Manchester!)...... So, come pay day at the end of this month (or the end of February if I bottle it) I am going to book myself a place..... and then have a good few months to psych myself up to go (or panic myself until I am completely grey!)..... I am terrible at meeting new groups of people - the last time I was a newbie at a meeting of internet people I managed to get myself into the kitchen to help out and could thankfully hide in there for most of the time on the pretext of being helpful - so not an option this time ....

Other things I am doing for myself include switching off at 4.00 pm when I leave work and trying to put it out my mind till the next day - which I have failed at big time so far.

I am also going to have a couple of evenings a week where I don't answer the phone - unless it's a pre-planned phone call (my counsellor really liked this idea!) or an emergency.

I am going to try and make more of an effort with the house - and look for a gardener that can at least come and tidy things up for me.

I am also going to spend at least three nights a week having a couple of hours playing with yarn, whether at home or when I am out (knitting after all does like to go to the pub and socialise)...... though I suppose this is really only partially for me as I don't knit for myself but love to knit for other people.  I don't like to promise to make things for people (okay so I do have 2 pairs of socks to knit for other people where they've given me the yarn so I must do those) but I like to surprise people with things.... my current project is one of these things.... then there are imminent new arrivals to knit something for....

This is dangerous though, because I find myself surfing Ravelry...... which resulted in me finding the perfect knitting project to do for a friend, as from recent conversation (which primarily involved a mission to the gutters to rescue my now very dented and tarnished halo, and for her to go hunting a pocket demon to train) I think this little chap would like to go live on her desk and help guard her pencils!  I wonder what colour she'd like??

Stone the Gargoyle
(www.devonmonk.com/knitting-gallery)

So, this is it....is it?

By this time tomorrow three and a half years of hard work and assignments will be over.  Each year for three years I've done and passed eight assignments in key subject areas and been to a compulsory seminar.... but all of that counts for nothing.... it all hinges on tomorrow and whether I can pass two exams starting with a theory type paper at 11 am and then a practical paper at 2 pm.......to pass I have to secure a minimum of 65% in both........ and I won't get the results till mid December.

Despite that when I get home tomorrow evening I know I can do nothing about the outcome, so it is time to put it behind me and do other things with my free time....

Thanks to reading Amy Lane's knitting books recently (okay, so I finished the last one earlier tonight after my brain reached critical saturation point on the revision front) I appear to have re-discovered my knitting mojo ... just in time to at least get a couple of projects I'd promised done for Christmas... with the knitting it's then onwards to March when two of my friends have babies due... I feel mini socks may be on the cards...

Rupert the evil plot bunny gave me an idea for the November story prompt, which I am hoping to get written up this weekend - so nice not to have to shove what I really want to write to one side for the sake of my course!  I'd also like to work on one other story, which I have the characters for and the very bare bones of a story, but I have no idea where it's going save the opening scene and a bit of background....... I shall just let my characters lead me.

I have a story to beta read this weekend too which I am really looking forward to.

Other than that, my time is my own.... I should really do something to celebrate finishing my course.... something that doesn't get me into trouble.... or arrested ... that is.... perhaps if I have a couple of celebratory vodkas something will come to me on this subject.

In the meantime, I am taking my germ ridden self and a box of tissues to bed for an early night.....

Friday evening waffling.....

This time next week, three years of hard work and my finals will all be over.... which is a bit of a sobering thought for someone that has a problem with completing things... this is something I have no choice in though so I am going to have to live with it.  Though the results of the exams won't come out until December so I will be in limbo for a while afterwards.

Talking to a friend this evening, in between the talk of babies, toddlers, badly behaved critters (more of which later) and knitting, we were coming up with ideas of what I can do with my free time.....Now I've said from about the start of this course that this will be it, I will not be doing any further studying... she however has doing various Open University courses over the last few years, some of which do sound tempting - I'd really quite like to do the medieval history course.... but then again, I have kind of had enough of studying.

I do need to think of something, as failing that I will end up taking work home to do in the evenings.... and as much as I could and in fact would spend my entire free time lost in my Kindle (well till it gave up and exploded... again) I should perhaps do other things to unwind.  I do have several knitting projects I need to get on with, and I have some story ideas I would like to get written (and I have been threatened with nagging if my mainstream YA series doesn't get it's second book in the very near future... bossy beta readers!)

That said, I've still a week to get through, and a fun filled week of revision it would be.  Tomorrow and Sunday are scheduled out into 3 x 2 hour blocks, with time off for grocery deliveries and laundry (I know how to have fun....), Monday night I will have revision free as I am always kippered when I get home from work on a Monday night.. more revision Tuesday and Wednesday night and then on Thursday I actually have an official revision day, by which I am hoping I will only be highlighting and cross checking.....oh and making sure I've directions to Leeds where I am sitting the exam.


Now hopefully the canine critters will be well behaved for the rest of the weekend.... they got a severe rollicking when I got home from work as the delightful little gits had emptied my kitchen bin all over the floor... it probably took me longer to clean up than it did for them to empty it.... I am just hoping there are no ill effects from the debris they have probably managed to eat.

The cats are being smug ... they always are when the dogs are in trouble, and I am in fact typing this with my head painfully tilted to one side as Gina is balancing on my left shoulder, purring in my ear, as she supervises my typing....... either that or she's getting revenge for me refusing to give her the Q-tip to play with this morning......

For a Monday....

Today has been remarkably good!

Okay, so there was work, and really dreary drizzly horrible dark weather (I swear you'd have thought we'd moved so far north that we had no daylight at all today).... and the slight problem of me miscalculating my medication and running out of pain killers last night after the chemist shut and having to do without for 24 hours....(insert lecture from person of authority regarding carelessness, forward planning, organisation and looking after yourself)....thank goodness for mother's who can be persuaded to pick up your prescription and stick it through the letterbox so it's there for you when you get home!

That aside, the day started well when the characters for my NaNo project started talking to me over my cup of tea first thing and kept going all the way to work, where I made some quick notes so I didn't forget.... then I caught up with a friend on line.... who helps keep a certain level of sanity throughout my working day (probably to both our respective employers horror if they knew!)....there was some chair dancing as I hummed along to the MP3 player (which was heavy on the Florence & the Machine this morning)...and my boss bought me a toffee apple (okay so she bought the whole team one)... though it turned out to be out of date so I didn't eat it, but it's the thought that counts.

I've finished getting my sister's birthday present together.... and it's not even her birthday until 2nd November... she's asked for some DVD's and craft stuff ..... she does the most beautiful free hand embroidery and I might just have chosen some lovely threads in greens/browns and bronzes and a small frame with the suggestion that I'd quite like two small pieces to hang over the fire place in the lounge....okay, so it will probably fall on deaf ears but it's worth a go

I just have to now get paper and a card, oh and choose some yarn from my stash (and appropriate needles) as she's decreed that I need to teach her to knit...... which is slightly worrying as I do not have the patience for teaching people a skill I still pretend at time I cannot do myself..... I can't remember what is easiest to learn to knit with.... I am tempted to start her with DK and some 4mm needles.... though my nicer yarn is mainly either in sock or aran weight I do have a nice hank of Colinette Cadenza I could give her.....then again  it's only for learning and I've a shed load of revolting bubblegum pink squeaky acrylic.....she can have some good stuff when she's got the hang of it....

Right, well to round off the rest of my nicer than expected Monday I am off to finish Amy Lane's first knitting book in preparation for the second to come out whilst I am in a yarnish type mood :)

The week in numbers....

because right now my brain is not functioning into forming a proper coherent post....

1.  This week I have slept.  A lot.  Now I've never been one of those people who needs 8 hours sleep a night, or in fact someone who gets 8 hours sleep a night (thank you critters)... my night pattern tends to be along the lines of go to bed about 10 pm ish, read till eyes go gritty, get up at about 2 am to let the dogs out (Ivan bless him can't go overnight) go back to bed till 5.30 am then get up and get ready for the day.... so some nights, depending on how long I read, I will actually only sleep from 2 am to 5.30 am... erm, yes, no, 3.5 hours a night is really not enough sleep....... this week I've spent two nights where I wander through to the lounge at about 6.30 pm... and by 7 pm I am asleep on the sofa buried somewhere under the critters, well Gretchen, who drapes herself round my neck like a scarf.  I obviously needed the sleep and as I am still rather more tired than I'd like I think that an afternoon nap may be the way forward tomorrow and possibly Sunday....

2.  My counselling session on Wednesday was a complete snot and tissues fest...... I failed spectacularly to make a list of "positives" in my life and was pretty stressed out anyway (it happens when I have days off work that make up a long weekend... basically, Friday I unwind from work and try to put out my head what I should be doing, Saturday and Sunday I enjoy, Monday I wind myself up panicking about what will be on my desk on Tuesday... and then try to fit 6 days work into 4....).... Counsellor thought the session was worthwhile... I begged to differ.... hopefully we can move on from the current subject next session.  Mind you, she did point out something.... you can't leave grit in a wound and expect it to heal cleanly.... meh, she has a point, but really, I didn't want to hear it then and I am trying to get my head round it now...the grit in my mental wounds is quite ground in and it's proving a bugger to shift.

3.  I have run out of knitting projects........ okay, I am lying here.... I have run out of things that I want to knit.... I have a list of people who I owe socks too and absolutely no inspiration to knit for them.... the last things I've knitted quickly and happily are for people I care a lot about.... I should at least try and get on with them... or finish the shawl I've been knitting for aeons....

4. I've managed to pick up a load of books from Dreamspinner's tweet away this week... which is good... but I want them on my Kindle... so this weekend I am going to try and master the art of transferring stuff from pc to Kindle..... there maybe screaming... for I am the original techno-numpty....

5.  Hugo and I aren't talking....... he split my lip last night when he leapt on the computer desk and smacked straight into my face with the top of his head... he then clawed my foot in the night...... he got kicked out the bedroom and has been sulking ever since.

6.  I have done no revision at all..... and it is now less than a month to the exam.... I have a revision day run by the governing body next Friday in Manchester... then the panic will probably set in..... last time I had to take exams I turned into the complete brat from hell .... this time I have no one to firmly tell me to pack it in.... I think the critters may wish to seek new humans by the time November is half way through....

7.  I am staying in and being a good girl this evening, though there is some research on the cards for this weekend I am trying not to get myself arrested....... that said, I really could do with finding out what a police interview room looks like these days..... it's been a while since I last found myself in one......

8.  Okay, back to my book I think, I have a major fantasy kick at the moment, be it M/M or not, and I feel a re-read of some of my favourites may be in order....

Weekend in a nutshell....

Well probably not, because nutshells are quite small... even walnut shells, though my weekend may at a push have fitted in a coconut shell......... okay I'm waffling..... I blame the drugs.... nah, nothing serious and/or illegal, just painkillers because it's flippin freezing and my arthritis has decided to make itself extremely well known....

In a fit of organisation....the housework actually happened..... completely, with pulling out of the sofa and looking horrified at the breeding colony of dust bunnies I've acquired   Alongside the housework, yesterday there was a soupçon of laundry, shopping (I lie, the shopping was delivered), and going out for lunch with my mother and sister...

Today I thought about doing something productive.. and then decided against it in favour of working up a playlist, you know, just in case I decide to do NaNo this year, of inspirational type tunes to keep me going as I write......... Yeah, I know, a playlist to do my revision to would probably have been a better idea, but it just isn't happening!

I've also trolled about on the net finding pretty pictures for inspiration..... that was fun  *grin*

There was also some reading, some knitting (I finished a pair of baby socks... a whole pair... in weekend... note the word "finished" here, this is important...) oh and some sampling of chocolate and special calming herbal tea I received in my package of goodies ...... the other package was my yarn... which I balled up round at mothers as trying to turn a hank into a ball with the assistance of rent a mob is not an experience I enjoy......... (oh and Gretchen is yet again evil devil dog incarnate as she turned my brand new set of 5mm dpns into matchsticks when my back was turned for 2 minutes)

And now alas my weekend appears to be over and work is beckoning ........ well it's smirking at me just round the corner safe in the knowledge that it will have my almost full attention for the next few days (particularly as I am going to be cancelling holiday tomorrow)

The week in one post....

So that's the first week of October over with.... and what a boring and miserable week it has been....Autumn is definitely here and I have an over-riding wish to go into hibernation and come out again in the spring.

I have at least now got my replacement Kindle charger... which is in a safe place where evil hell hounds cannot get it (and where the cats cannot nibble on it either)... I might also have blown the book buying budget for the whole month as well....  The rest of the week mainly involved working - which is boring and tedious.  There was a visit to my counsellor on Wednesday, who is pleased with my progress and is moving me to fortnightly appointments... I have homework again though, for next time she wants a list of positive things in my life ...... humm, that could be quite a short list right now ...

Tonight I got home to find two cards from the post man through the door to tell me I had parcels... for some reason though they've taken them to different places to hold onto them till I can collect them..... I am pretty sure I know one is some yarn I bought the other day when I was given a brilliant excuse for visiting the Colinette site .... the other I think maybe a little parcel from Austria which I am very excited about... I shall be going to collect as early as I can tomorrow....

I did have other plans for this weekend ... though they mainly involved heavy duty housework as I was expecting visitors next week.... in fact there was plotting and planning on Wednesday night for the visit.... and then there was a phone call this evening and now there is no visit.... She said she felt guilty for letting me down, but really, it's not her fault, in fact it's really nobody's fault, just sometimes life gets in the way and complicates the hell out of everything - in this case a potential move of residence for my friend and her family which is much needed and if all goes to plan will be fantastic for them.

Now I could potentially have a moment of self pity and wailing as all my plans fall apart.... after all I see this friend twice a year, we've been planning this visit since May, I probably won't see her now till next May as there is a new baby due at the end of March..... but you know what.... the world doesn't revolve around me..... and to be honest, the potential new home sounds so brilliant for them I'd rather just keep my fingers crossed that everything goes well and that rather than being with me next weekend they are busily packing.... not to mention that the saving in terms of the cost of petrol to drive to mine will buy them a new carpet....... I feel that this should be known as my carpet in future ...

I might still do housework...  or I may break into the new yarn and curl up on the sofa to watch TV... after all the new series of Merlin starts tomorrow and the slash possibilities are endless...

My weekend has plans....

Hugo keeping his beady eyes on the yarn stash and
waiting to make a stealth attack...

My mission this weekend appears to be mainly to knit! The first of the three pregnant people in my life phoned in work today to say she was in labour... some three weeks early..... which begs the question why do I leave things to the last minute.

So I have looked at the stash, scratched my head a bit and then decided on an Itty Bitty Sock Yarn Bits Blanket....(basically a mini log cabin type blanket) cos I appear to have a carrier bag full of odds and ends of sock yarn waiting to be used for something or other....

I cast on this evening and have managed a couple of inches so far - small needles (3.25) do not make for fast growing projects..... I have also had to speak sternly to Gretchen regarding the edibility of the points of my interchangeable circs....... ie... go away, stop eyeing them up, they are not for you to chew on....

I do have some other plans, though they mainly involve things like housework, laundry and other such boring stuff..... oh and I planned chilling out with some of the books I'd managed to load on the Kindle (this time on purpose, I've not repeated the other night's adventures of buying 3 books in my sleep.... mainly by not taking the phone to bed with me)

I fear that by lunch time on Sunday I will be out knitted and might actually find my writing inspiration again......we shall see.... in the meantime, I must knit for there may well be a recipient for the blanket within the next few days......

Oh... and said person going into labour means *gulp* I've been promoted to Deputy Team Leader at work....

Because I am a good girl....

No, honestly, I am..... well, okay, most of the time I am....other times I might possibly be not quite so good, but I would never admit that if questioned....

Finally! striped husband socks...
no not for striped husbands...

anyway.... I have completed part of my homework....see the completed word!!  Yep, I finished a project that's been hanging around for about a year (okay, I've done other projects in between but this was one of those I just couldn't for the life of me finish..... but today I have and the husband socks are finally done... (I even kitchenered without having a hissy fit).... and no I have still no idea why it took me so long to get round to finishing this particular project

Now I have to hope that the husband they are intended for likes them and that they are the right size!  I shall pass them to the owner of the appropriate husband when she comes to visit in the near future...

So, one down, one to go before Wednesday......... erm.........

Tomorrow I get to go be social, as we are having the usual run of fantastic weather because everyone has gone back to work/school my sister and her other half have invited me and mother to a bbq .... though I feel my invitation my have something to do with the 10 days she is about to go to Turkey for and Mavis the Cat feeding duties.....

Right, well, as the dogs have gone to bed and the cats are on their third meal of the day I think I am going to go play on the interwebs for a while .....

The Joy of Socks......

I am a self confessed sock knitter........ it's a fairly harmless hobby .... well save for the fact that my stash of sock yarn is not going to ever run out and I have no will power when it comes to buying even more... it does come in handy for gifts though, because there is nothing quite like hand knitted socks......

Which is a good thing as now three of my friends are pregnant and two of them have requested baby socks.... which sound cute, small and easy to knit, but good grief it's a faff on teeny needles with a teeny amount of stitches..... I've one set to get done for October and one for March..... luckily my other friend, also due in March, is a knitter herself and does not need me to knit for her (which is a good thing as her current three year old is still waiting for the cappuccino jumper I promised for when she was born.....)

Despite my love of hand knitted socks, I wear horrible black shop bought boring socks to work...... or at least I usually do.......

But I am such an innocent little
cat, honest, I wouldn't ever steal
anything and hide it!

Yesterday, after doing the laundry I hung up 5 pairs of boring work socks on the airer to dry...... this morning there are only three pairs......

and a very innocent looking Hugo

Now I know that he is a bit of a kleptomaniac.... after all my friends who stay all have to be told to keep their bags shut as he will raid them and steal underwear......... which is embarrassing when you later have to phone your friend up and say "I appear to have found a pair of your knickers, the cat was carrying them around"

So, tonight I am playing hunt the socks....... so far we have tried, under the bed, under the guest bed, behind the book case, under the chest of draws where the cat toys get stuck and in the bath (not sure why but some of his prize possessions end up there)....... so far I am drawing a blank ...... if you were a cat where would you hide socks is a question too far for my brain at this time of night....... it doesn't help that Hugo is sat on the top of the bedroom door sniggering at me.........

random mumbling....

Whilst I take baby steps towards trying to get myself back on track mentally (though I have taken a giant leap and got an appointment with a new counsellor for Thursday... I decided sod it and used the health insurance I have through work to find a private therapist rather than going through my own doctor for a referral and having to wait for months like last time) I am doing a lot of, well, nothing much.

In other words... hiding in books and knitting again... oh and failing to finish that final assignment that has to be submitted by Tuesday to the board and probably by Friday to my tutor.... It will get done, I am just struggling to get the material I need to read, digest and spit out as an answer to actually make it past my eyeballs.

I have read far a stupid number books in the last few days ... and somehow managed to purchase another seven today..... okay, I know how I managed to do it, but as there are 50 odd sitting waiting to be read on the Kindle already I didn't really need to.... why can't I buy the first book in a series?  Why do I have to buy the entire series (in this case the Horizons series by Mickie B Ashling and the Dangerous Grounds series by Josh Lanyon) I have promised myself (a) no more books till at least 10 have come off the Kindle and (b) no starting a new series till the essay is done..... do they do a 12 step programme for compulsive book purchasers and readers??

Kammi - far too cute to ever mess
with the yarn!

Knitting wise I am down to 2 WIPs.... the husband socks, which I am halfway down the foot of the 2nd sock and a shawl which I have about another 8 pattern repeats to do.... I am hoping to get them finished soon as I have requested for 3 more pairs of socks (which people have actually paid for the yarn or handed over the yarn) and some baby stuff for a colleague at work......I also have 1 skein of lace weight and 2 skeins of very posh silk blend sock yarn to wind into balls at some point.... trouble is, every time I look at them I catch sight of Gretchen in the corner of my eye looking oh so helpful on the tangling up the yarn front!

Right, I must now go wrap up my mother's birthday present... I managed to find her some nice little gifts as well as what she actually wanted.... which was a sonic screwdriver... I mean toothbrush.. which is just so not a glamorous and personal present!  We are taking her out for a meal tomorrow night.... and I finally get to meet my sister's other half properly for the first time.