Decisions, decisions…….

Something I well and truly suck at making!  Whether it’s something life changing or just what to have for tea – I really don’t do making decisions (as evidenced by the fact my tea last night was crackers and goats cheese whilst I thought about what I wanted and then didn’t get round to it)

Anyway, more importantly – I have a decision to make….. a work related decision…. and this is going to be mainly rambling as I try to make a decision….

Now that one of our team has left the position of deputy team leader has is vacant and yesterday I was hauled into a meeting with my team leader and asked if I would apply for it….. I think I might have nodded vaguely….

The thing is, I am not sure whether I want the role or not …. okay sure, it’s a step up the ladder, and one I will probably need to take at some point in the future if I want to advance in the firm…..  but our team leader isn’t big on delegating and when I stepped up and covered for 9 months whilst the colleague that has left was on maternity leave I basically did nothing in addition to what I usually do work wise.  Now, I said this yesterday and was told that this would change if I did take the post – we are expecting 3 new starters in the team, none of whom have much experience and would need a high level of supervision some of which would fall to me. 

Now my team leader and I have very different management styles – she is a meddler and micromanager whereas I tend to let people get on with what they are doing on the understanding they will come to me if they need help.  Is it possible for us to work together with the rest of the team if our approaches are so different? 

Then there is also my own work…. I have my own targets to meet – will there be any allowance if part of my time is now going to be spent supervising rather than cracking on with my own work?  Or will I just be expected to take on more.  I have a rule that work stops at home time and stays at the office – this is because if it doesn’t I find it starts taking over the whole of my waking life – and it’s no fun when you can’t have any time off without worrying what’s on your desk, or when you start your day by making lists of what needs to be done at work, or waking in the middle of the nigh because you’re sure you’ve forgotten to do something or missed a deadline.  I have got myself in such a stressed out state by work in the past that I know I have to separate firmly my home and work life  - will I be able to still do this if I take on the post?

The other issue is…. there is no financial reward to being deputy team leader.  Yeah, seriously, you get to take on extra responsibility for no extra pay….

So yeah, the con’s are far outweighing the pro’s at the moment…. But then we come to the big two….. there is no one else within the team to take on the role and in the larger department as a whole the only person that is likely to apply is someone neither my team leader or I really get on with…. and …. for our different work styles, my team leader and I are friends and we are able to have a relaxed working environment because of that – I don’t want to let her down or upset her by not taking on the role, but I don’t want the friendship to change if I do…

Okay, I officially have absolutely no idea what I want to do about this……. maybe I can find someone to decide for me – that’s my favourite way of making decisions!