As I am feeling a little more coherent I thought I'd clear my mind a bit and get out of my system the post I was planning last night.
So I know full well what NSFW means, but sometimes my hand eye co-ordination isn't so good and I accidentally hit the wrong link when I'm surfing, no huge issue, unless you hit a NSFW thread, whilst you're at work, with a colleague standing behind you.... Now some of my colleagues know I read M/M books, after all they've made the mistake of asking what I'm reading at lunch time, to which I will just hand them the book.... but the person standing behind me a week or so back was a lovely lad who has slight autism and on occasion will say the first thing that comes into his head.
The picture that he saw on my screen was of an obviously male naked backside... could have been worse :o)... and his first comment was....."but I thought you were a lesbian".....
Now my initial reaction was to just say that yes, I am a lesbian, and that it was just a picture... but then he started asking all sorts of questions as to why I would look at pictures of naked men if I liked women.... luckily lunch finished then and I got out of answering the awkward questions.....at least to him, in my mind they've been nagging at me for a while.
I've mentioned before that I never really had to come out thanks to my upbringing and having the most fantastic open minded parents who taught my sister and I (and anyone else they came into contact with) that so long as you loved it didn't matter who or what. I've also been extremely lucky never to have been on the receiving end of any homophobic bullying or harassment ...... hum, ok, one comment maybe does spring to mind now I think about it... which was that I only said I was a lesbian because I was too fat to find a boyfriend... which I think was more about size than sexuality... and was definitely more to do with their ignorance
Ok, so as far as looking at pictures goes, I am a big fan of the human body in any form, humans in general are beautiful... I can look at pictures of either sex and find them attractive, I particularly like muscle structure and eyes in humans....but pictures actually do very little for me in a whole getting physically turned on kind of sense. (Now I think about it put a picture of a large cat, or a wolf in front of me and I can appreciate that too.... not sure what that says about me!). Maybe I just appreciate a good photograph?
Now I'm not a big fan of labels, and yes, I'll admit that I label myself as a lesbian, but am I actually being honest with myself? Or perhaps I do this for convenience... after all a lot of lesbian's have real issue as those who identify as Bi (erroneously so in my opinion, - no not the identification, the having an issue with it - but then again, they are not me and the only person I have a right to label is myself)
Now I fully subscribe to the theory that the basis of physical attraction is at least in part a matter more of pheromones than anything else. I am about 90% certain that if I ever risk another relationship it will be with a woman, it's what I feel more comfortable with. it's what I first think when asked to consider the future. There is however that small part of me that refuses to rule out that any future relationship wouldn't be with a man. I can't actually feel that there is anything wrong with this either.
I know I am attracted to males as well as females... my early relationships (by which I mean longer than a week or so) were all with men, but in the last 12 years or so all my relationships have been with women.
Interestingly I like females to be definitely female and males to be definitely male...... Mind you, I am a complete sucker for either sex if they happen to have longish brown hair, green eyes and lots of eyelashes......
I think maybe I just shouldn't worry about it... like oh, probably 80% of those that ever read this post I should just label myself as "human"................... (the other 20% being spambots, cats who've learnt to use the pc to check up on what their owners are doing and possibly the odd alien or two....)
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