General work related mumbling....

So today was the day for our team's bi-annual appraisal....  and by the time my turn came (half an hour later than planned) I'd got myself totally worked up about how terrible it was going to be ... this is sadly a usual state of affairs as I can wind myself up far better than anyone else can do it for me and there is no one in my life to put a break on it for me and basically tell me to pull myself together and stop it.... After the fact of course I can see that I was blowing it up out of all proportion, by which time I wanted nothing more than to either scream, cry or drown in the largest cup of coffee I could find (I didn't though because I can do common sense at times)

As I kind of expected the the work fiasco from last month came back to haunt me during said appraisal. I was told that I was a valued member of the team, focused on my work and generally liked by staff and clients so we should put the whole thing behind us, and that no one hated me for it etc..... trouble was, I kind of lost it a bit and pointed out that as a result of what had happened I was de-motivated, felt isolated and abandoned by the team, had lost all trust in management and generally like some sort of criminal lurking in their midst... which kind of took my team leader a bit by surprise.  She's very much a team playing optimist of the sunshine squad variety...... and whilst I like her and can work with her quite easily sometimes I need to put all my cards on the table and scream "just look" as she merrily skips from one fluffy cloud of serenity to the next.  She had an emergency meeting with our big boss straight after the appraisals so just maybe some of what I said sank in.

Then however, she dropped a bombshell.  I'd been wondering for a few weeks if a work colleague was pregnant but as nothing had been said by her didn't want to put my foot in it.  Well apparently she is and, will be off on maternity leave in October, for probably a year.... and they want me to act up (no not that sort of acting up, though I'd probably do that better) and replace her as deputy team leader.  I found myself saying I'd do it before I really thought about it........ I just hope that it's not a decision I'll regret.

Luckily I got taken out for tea so I couldn't dwell and now my cats insist it's time that I go treat them with all due deference and worship...... or rather, time that I go to bed with a book that they can then sit on to prevent me from reading!