Sorry, this is a purely letting off steam kind of post as if I don't vent here I am going to either end up bursting into tears or yelling at someone that totally doesn't deserve it.... feel free to skip said post and visit again later...
Dad hasn't been very well since New Year..... which is like the understatement of the year given that he's dying, he's just being a bit more serious about it at the moment. The doctors mucked up his medication and he ran out of one of his tablets, as a result he has been stuck in bed for the last three weeks nearly. His partner (sheesh, nearly 18 months on and I can't bring myself to call her his wife) is crap... back in October/November he had a bad reaction to some of the drugs he was trying out and all his joints became swollen so he couldn't get out of his chair.... but she left him there without food or drink to go to work with no one in the house for 9 hours! When ever she worries about him, which obviously happens a fair bit, she phone my mum and whittles on at her about him and and all her worries........ No matter how hard we try to get her to phone either me or my sister she won't do it.... mainly because dad doesn't want to upset my sister and the partner knows I have no time or patience for her.
Mum has decided, after seeing dad before Christmas (yes, they are still friends, and speak to each other, visit etc), that dad has in fact given up and is just waiting to die.... which is upsetting, but being a hard hearted bitch (my mother's words a couple of weeks ago) all I can think is please, just let him go soon and painlessly.... and yep, am still a complete coward who can't face going down to see him.
Last week I posted a bit about mum's straight laced lodger, who it appears is really taking the piss. Mum let her rent the attic before Christmas and was under the impression it would be short term till the lodger found somewhere to rent properly or bought another property..... only she's done fuck all bout finding somewhere else to live - why would she, mum's only charging her peanuts to stay there.... they were friends, but the way things are going the friendship is going to blow up very shortly as the lodger keep criticising mum and making snide remarks. Mum asked her when she was moving out, as she has visitors coming at the end of February - only to be told that the visitors could come in half term when the lodger would be house sitting for a week! WTF!!
What with the lodger, the radiator leaking just before Christmas (which meant she needed a whole new set of radiators), dad and the water pouring through the roof incident last week mum's anxiety levels have understandably gone through the roof. This evening (or rather today) her telephone has gone on the blink and despite several calls to the service provider, and them assuring her it was fine, she lost her temper with them when it still didn't work.... She then phoned me for sympathy and when I couldn't help her with her phone hung up on me..... she then phoned my sister and had a tizzy down the phone to her.
My sister phoned me in tears after mum hung up on her. Apparently mum's been phoning her having these kind of massive anxiety attacks at all hours of the day and night.... and when the phone rings really late at night she picks it up in absolute fear that it's the call to say dad has gone. Mum has always had a bit of a problem with alcohol, she started drinking rather heavily when she and dad were getting divorced and whilst it's been fairly under control she does tend to drink whiskey when she's anxious, which makes her very depressed. (Mum's drinking is one of the reasons I don't really drink and am happy to be the designated driver if I am going out) My sister admitted that when she and her partner went round for dinner on Saturday last week mum had drunk a small bottle of whiskey... my sister was mortified as her partner had never seen mum like that in the year that he and my sister have been together.
Tonight we were both pretty sure she'd been drinking again, so first my sister and then I tried to phone her mobile... which she'd switched off. We ended up going round to check on her because in her anxious state, with alcohol, we were worried she'd do something stupid.... she hadn't but she was in a complete state.
My sister and I really don't know what to do, she won't admit the anxiety is a problem - we both want her to speak to her doctor about it... we also want her to formally get rid of the lodger.... we are going to speak to dad's partner and make it clear that she has to stop burdening mum with her problems about dad
Arghhh, I just wish I could fix everything......
*big hugs*
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