Well, this evening I have managed what turned out to be a fairly amusing (well for me anyway) example of failing to engage my brain before opening my mouth.... I mean seriously, there is a connection, but sometimes it seems to just short circuit on me at the worst moments. It's a good thing my mother is used to me!!
So what did I do?
Being as it's very cold here at present, and forecast to snow over the weekend, I decided that it would be an excellent time to visit my mother for tea and gossip as after (a) she has heating in her house which I don't and (b) I could stick a load of clothes through the washing machine - after all if I get snowed in the last thing I want is to run out of underwear (well outerwear too I suppose, but the underwear always seems more important somehow)
So, I was sitting at one end of the kitchen table, my mother was at the other end making a batch of meatballs. In the middle was sat my mother's lodger - I say lodger in the loosest sense of the word. She's a friend of mum's, who recently sold her own house but hasn't yet found a new place to live - so she's currently living in mum's attic (yep the one with the leaky flat roof)..... she's a retired antiques dealer and, well to be blunt, a complete know it all with extremely definite opinions on everything. I am hoping she finds somewhere to live soon as she's driving mum up the wall - only mum's far to nice to say anything.
Anyway, there we were, nattering about nothing in particular, as I carried out with my knitting and mum with the cooking.... her friend was holding forth about something when mum suddenly interrupts and says, "roll into 24 walnut sized balls." There is brief pause and she continues "what sort of size is walnut size?"
Now without thinking or looking up from my knitting (in my defence I was trying to keep my double moss stitch straight at the time) I replied, "the same size as a bloke's prostate gland, a healthy one anyway."
It took about a minute for me to realise the conversation hasn't restarted. I looked up from my knitting to find them both looking at me, mum's friend is looking totally horrified, like I've said something outrageously rude, but mum, bless her is biting the inside of her cheek and trying not to laugh. Eventually she managed to say with a completely straight face and dead pan expression, "useful to know, but not exactly helpful when it comes to working out the size of the balls."
Well that cracked me up altogether as my mind went gutter-wise (it is a direction, it's the opposite of heavenwards) at high speed. Mum managed to hold off laughing until her friend had fled the kitchen to return to her attic
Mum thinks she'll have the downstairs of her house to herself this evening :)
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