Because life is...

Short, cruel, and sometimes a complete bitch..... it's always a really good idea to tell someone how much they mean to you.

This afternoon I got some news about an internet friend I've known for going on ten years now (let us call her AP) she was a member of an on-line forum dedicated to the books of a Girls Own author, a talented writer and really wonderful genuine person.  In around 2005 a smaller group of us from that forum developed a really close friendship and a lot of our day was spent e-mailing back and forth between us.... we supported each other through some traumatic times in all our home and work lives, including AP's first battle with breast cancer.

As life moved on, jobs changed, one of us got married, one was forced into retirement, teenage children went through horrible times etc we gradually drifted apart, not completely but that close relationship the small group of us had had for around 18 months wasn't ever quite the same.

In October 2010 we were told that AP was again seriously ill, a secondary tumour having formed on her spine. Radical chemo and radio therapy treatments were done and she recovered well, we all managed to get together and catch up, but since then we've drifted, not least because AP's vision and ability to concentrate became difficult because of the drugs.  But that was 18 months ago, and I think we all got complacent and believed that she was better and all was going to be okay.

Her husband e-mailed yesterday to say that the tumour has returned, this time in her brain and they have told him she has a matter of days.  AP knows she's ill but doesn't realise how bad it is.

AP is one of the kindest, wisest most caring people I have ever met.  I just can't believe that she is going to be taken from us.  My heart goes out to her family and closer friends.  She is going to leave a very big gap in all our lives.  I just wish that I had had the opportunity to tell her how much I valued her friendship and support.