Reality returns with a thump.........

There's nothing quite like returning to normality with a bang.

Yep, the weekend high crashed and burnt as today I was back at work......... I was in the office by 8 am, on the basis that there would be catching up to be done...... and surprisingly my team leader was already in. As I logged onto the computer she waved an envelope at me and said "shall we go do this now"..... which lead to a moments panic as my mind went "oh, shit, what the fuck have I done now??"

I dutifully followed her to one of our meeting rooms, sitting in trepidation and waiting whilst she fiddled with blinds and things.  Then she calmly announces that everyone had their annual pay review last week when I was off and this was mine.  Oh, okay, fine.  So after the obligatory explanation of how much the team had to share out between us she let me know that I'd been given a just over the cost of living payrise (providing the cost of living doesn't go up in the next 12 months that is.......... it says a lot when 20 years after I went to university i still don't earn enough to have to pay back my student loans!).  I questioned whether there were bonuses this year, to be told, yes there was, but I wasn't being given one.

Now I know these things are discretionary ... but... in the last 12 months I have been acting Deputy Team Leader (and on occasions Team Leader) to cover someone's maternity leave, and I'd achieved my professional qualification... oh, and I'd exceeded my annual time and fees targets......... apparently this wasn't enough..... obviously you have to bleed for the company now........

To say I was unimpressed was something of an understatement.  I may have returned to my desk, plugged myself into my earphones and studiously ignored everyone for the rest of the day.  Seriously I am beginning to wonder why I bother.  No matter how hard I work, what I do, what extras I take on, it is never enough to satisfy them.  They talk of company loyalty but what loyalty do they actually show to us?  Okay so most of the time I enjoy working where I do, but seriously, they appear to care less and less about their staff.

Oh, and to make matters worse, the powers that be have locked all the windows in the office and removed the keys as they say that open windows prevents the air con working properly....... thing is, the air con just doesn't bloody work at all most of the time.  As a result of the lack of fresh air I have a banging headache this evening to add to the general pissed off at the world feeling I have.

I wasn't sure earlier if I wanted to rant about how unfair this all was, or burst in to tears.......luckily I have a safe space online where some very good friends lurk with me, I vented and they made me feel wanted and appreciated.... work might suck, but at least I have friends.