The good, the bad and the highly amusing....

Three things for today.....

The good - I got home from my appointment with my counsellor in my usual rather over emotional post talk about myself state to find that the postal fairy had visited, sending me a parcel of chocolaty goodness from over the other side of the Atlantic .... that cheered me up immensely.

The bad - I opened the back door to let the dogs out into the run a while ago... there was a thunk as one of them hit the railings, then silence......which in itself is unusual as Gretchen can be quite a gobby little shite at times... five minutes later there was still silence, and the three girls were outside but Ivan had come in and was stressing slightly.  Five more minutes and I was starting to get suspicious...... when Kammi ran in covered in feathers....... not a good sign..... I legged it outside to find that Gretchen and Hope were taking raw feeding to the ultimate limits and were in the process of disemboweling a pigeon in the middle of the run.  Feathers everywhere!!  Gretchen wasn't keen to give up her prize - I can only assume it either crashed into the kitchen window and dropped in the run (it's happened before), or it was too slow in flying out the run when I opened the door to let the dogs out - but I got it away from her and tossed it down the bottom of the garden where I am sure either the fox or the badger will be grateful for a snack later. The feathers were bloody everywhere though and I shall now have to de-worm and de-flea all the dogs before bedtime!

The highly amusing - I hate spending post counselling evenings alone, so I pottered off to mum's for tea... after which we were sitting in the lounge talking and I had one of those impressive brain to mouth fails... it went something like this...

Mum - Do you know what ATM stands for
Me - Yeah, sure, arse to mouth
Mum - what?
Me - Arse to mouth, where you put something in one first then the other.  Normally dick or fingers. You get it a lot in porn and erotica.
Mum - Really? Are you sure?
Me - yes, definitely
Mum - (vaguely) okay
Me - why (yeah, still wasn't really concentrating)
*sound of rustling papers*
Mum - it doesn't fit
Me - sorry what? (at this point my brain finally catches up with my mouth)
Mum - ATM, definition... that was the crossword clue
Me - oh, erm, I think you want cash point for that one.........
Mum - Oooh, of course *sound of scribbling* So, the other definition
Me - is that the time, really, I need to go home.........