I did something at work today that I am feeling a bit, I don't know, undecided about........ and the stupid thing is, it's not something I've done wrong, or that I shouldn't have done.. in fact it was something I should have done, kind of... yeah, this is not making sense is it...
Okay, so as part of my contract I have 24.5 days annual leave each year - well actually 25 but the office is shut on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and the whip half a day off your leave entitlement for that.....i normally carry over 5 days from the year before - which is the maximum allowed - and takes me to 29.5 days a year... now because next week, on Wednesday to be exact, I will have been with the firm for 5 years, I am rewarded... by being given a further 3 days leave a year........ so now we are up to 32.5 days...... and up to today I had used, erm, about 8 days....... and it's now nearly September...... leaving me 4 months to use up the rest of my days off or lose them.
The trouble is, when I take time off i do nothing, well, nothing productive, or vaguely holiday like... I mope around at home spending the first couple of days panicking about what I left on my desk and the last couple of days panicking about what will be on my desk when I get back....... overall I usually end up so stressed out the holiday isn't really worth having.
But, after promising that I would take steps to make time for myself to relax I've booked myself a whole week off starting on 16th September........now that was fine......... it's been booked for a while..... but today, talking to my colleague (who sadly because she's had such a crap deal after she returned from maternity leave probably isn't going to be my colleague for much longer) it was pointed out that I've not actually had a long break over Christmas for the last 4 years as I've always worked the whole way through..... she prodded a bit and before I knew it, I'd put in a leave request so that I will finish work on 20th December and not return until 2nd January .... now that's a lot of days off! It hasn't been approved, but no one else has booked the time yet either.
I am not sure how I feel about doing it though. My family are local, I don't have children to make Christmas extra special for - and I won't spend too much time with my family (the joys of being an antisocial cowbag - I can only tolerate family/friends for extended period with lots of breaks between contact or I get majorly stressed out - the only exceptions to this are those friends and family who know that if they visit they help themselves and let me have alone or quiet time). The others in my team have families across the country, or children, and this is where the guilt kicks in - am I depriving them of a chance enjoying their Christmas break....
Part of me is seriously thinking about cancelling the days off, or at least some of them, so that others can take the time off.... but then again I suppose I'm as entitled to them as much as anyone else... I hate this, I don't want to upset anyone, or rock the boat, but I am not really prepared for it to be a case of I will work over Christmas because I always have done........ maybe I should work just one or two days........ or maybe.... oh I don't know... And I've still got to fit in another 10 days worth of holiday....
And I can't even believe I am thinking about Christmas already! That said, mum has started dropping large and unsubtle hints about what she'd like and my sister is talking making things for the Christmas fayre...... schools will be going back next week........ before we know it the nights will be getting longer ..... okay, no enough, I am still happily in summer mode thank you very much.......
No comments:
Post a Comment