The cat ate my blog post....

Here I was writing a possibly quite boring post mainly, because I am British, moaning about the weather... ie it's flippin freezing... and twice, it has been destroyed by certain naked creatures descending on the keyboard and either closing the window or doing something unnecessary that switches the whole damn thing off.

(Gina is currently balancing over the keyboard with her hind legs on the desk and her front paws on my shoulders so I can't actually see what I am typing.... )

So I give in and will let them take over the blog....

This is my bed and my duvet, and I don't share!

Attack of the killer Hugo

Books I read in January....

Ok, as I am not going to finish another book before the end of the month I thought I'd get in early... I seem to have read rather a lot, and all of it m/m again... must try and make an effort to go back to wider genre range!

1.       Once a Marine – Cat Grant

2.       The Zero Knot – K Z Snow

3.       It’s not Shakespeare – Amy Lane

4.       I Love You, Asshole – Amy Lane

5.       Barging In – Josephine Myles

6.       Boats in the Night – Josephine Myles

7.       Pricks and Pragmatism – J L Merrow

8.       Muscling Through – J L Merrow

9.       Out of Focus – L A Witt

10.   The Distance Between Us – L A Witt

11.   The Closer You Get – L A Witt

12.   Bent – Sean Michael

13.   Drawn – Sean Michael

14.   Found – Sean Michael

15.   Snared – Sean Michael

16.   Owned – Sean Michael

17.   Push – Sean Michael

18.   Burn – Sean Michael

19.   Baked – Sean Michael

20.   Sold – Sean Michael

21.   Forged – Sean Michael

22.   Spoken - Sean Michael

23.   Gravity – Sean Michael

24.   The Russian Bear -  C B Conway

25.   Alphabet Soup – C B Conway

26.   Bound By Love – T A Chase

27.   Cop Out – K C Burn

28.   Duck – Kim Dare

29.   Mistletoe and Submission – Kim Dare

30.   His Convenient Husband – J L Langley

31.   Hot Head – Damon Suede

32.   Room at the Top – Jane Davitt & Alexa Snow

33.   Submission Times Two – Claire Thompson

34.   Nowhere Ranch – Heidi Cullinan

35.   E Pistols at Dawn – Z. A. Maxfield

36.   Out of the Dungeon – S M Johnson

P.S.A.....

No, not a Public Service Announcement, but more a Personal Stupidity Announcement..... and why my blog post last night didn't happen....

If you are very short sighted and showering without your glasses on, in the dark, when you hear something drop on the floor of the shower investigate first.... because 4 blade safety razors, without the guard on, are in fact not that safe.... and

(a) the soles of your feet bleed a lot, particularly when wet,
(b) blood is a complete sod to get out of the bathroom carpet, and
(c) it's very painful to walk when you've got four razor sharp cuts on the bottom of your foot.


No stitches required but putting my shoes on for work this morning was an experience I'd rather not repeat in a hurry

Taking time out......

My life has been a bit stressed out and frantic lately, particularly with family stuff and work... I've found myself sitting in front of a computer for up to 16 hours a day and the rest of the time either on the phone, or racing around doing stuff.  I was talking to my dad the other night who reminded me that sometimes it is okay to put myself first and to give myself some space and time.

So for the last 24 hours (ish - I was slightly later than I hoped starting last night) I switched off.  I have been technologically free..... that is to say, no internet, no pc at all in fact, no MP3 player, no radio, no TV, no phones (mobile or land line), no car, no Kindle and as little as possible of anything else that involves electricity.... the kettle was permitted this morning as caffeine withdrawal would not have made it the calm day I was hoping for.

I don't usually do silence so that has been quite a challenge, as was being still and not finding things that had to be done.  I've did allow myself a note pad and some paper, thinking I'd probably do some story planning or writing, but actually I found myself writing conciousness streams when the silence got too much outside my head and the sounds too much inside my head.  Reading them back they aren't pretty thoughts but they made me focus a bit more on my current state of mind and what I actually want out of life.

I lit the candles this evening in the lounge and the kitchen, did some knitting and generally lost myself in my thoughts. I've done a fair bit of crying too which I obviously needed.

I feel very calm and my head is certainly a lot clearer than it has been in months... so to round things off I am going for a nice long soak in the bath (with candles and bubbles) before getting into a nice bed with clean linens.

In need of sleep.....

This is obviously not really me!!

In the last 36 hours I have managed the grand total of 2.5 of them being asleep.... I know not why but last night was a complete farce.

I went to bed as usual and read for a while, then switched off the light and waited, and waited, and waited, and then at 1.30 am decided sod it, got up, took the kindle downstairs, let the dogs out and made a cup of tea.  I read at the kitchen table till 3.00 am when I decided I'd try to go back to bed... nope, no joy, neither my brain or my body wished to switch off, so I tossed and turned for a bit and gave up again, going back down stairs shortly before 4.00 am... I tried to curl up on the sofa and go to sleep, nope, not happening.. so at 5.00am I got up properly and took the dogs out to the park for half an hour.... it's nice on the park at that time of the morning, there were stars and moonlight.  

When I got back I switched on the radio, made more tea.... and promptly fell asleep at the kitchen table... Luckily I'd set the alarm on my phone just in case and woke in time to go grab a very quick shower and get myself to work on time.... cos yes, working on that little sleep is a good idea.

I couldn't take my pain meds as I hadn't had breakfast, and then my back decided to bitch like hell at me about falling asleep at the table......then joy of joy, fire drill.... at which point my back kind of muttered at me, sure go stand outside in the freezing cold damp weather for half an hour, and then see if I'll co-operate.

So, feeling like I've been kicked by a horse and being stupidly over tired, I have taken the horrible mega strong painkillers and am waffling inanely on the blog whilst I wait for them to kick in..... I will get some sleep!

That midweek musical moment...

This is a song that they've been playing on the radio a lot of an evening whilst I've been writing recently and it's really grown on me rather a lot....

Safety 'net.....

Good news.... mum has a strangulated hernia....... yes, I did say good news, the other option was that it was a tumour, so whilst this may involve fairly major surgery (keyhole not an option as it's deep in scar tissue).. it's fixable.

Whilst all this has been going on I have been reminded again that I have some fantastic friends, particularly my online friends..... who shall henceforth be known as my Safety 'Net.  Over the last week they've offered me lots of support and then this morning I got up to find I had texts, direct messages and e-mails, then two particular friends kept in contact all morning whilst I waited whilst mum was in with the surgeon... though the conversations were getting wilder by the minute, culminating in a wonderful comment from my little net sister that she was enjoying her vision of me in a chauffeur's uniform, including hat...

Said comment was followed shortly by an order that I get myself down to her house for coffee, chocolate and cuddles ... which being a good girl (yes, I know, that subject is still very much up for debate) I did.  We had a nice (late) lunch out and then spent a lot of time talking, sometimes serious, sometimes complete trash... there was some gentle nagging about submitting my book, there was much pleading that I get my finger out and write some more, and then there was the whole very silly conversation about how I couldn't be a good girl because of the special "bedtime stories" that I'd written for her in the past and when was I going do do some more of those ... and then we got onto the subject of strange porn, and in particular fish porn.. which I have no idea where that came from, but now feel I may have to do something about... mermaids possibly ... though the porn version of Finding Nemo is making me snicker....

Anyway, I am feeling very happy and loved tonight, particularly as I have had hugs - which as a very tactile person is something I miss out on hugely having no partner and my friends not being on my immediate doorstep.