A day in the germ filled life...

Okay, so if I had any common sense (or anyone with the ability to make me see reason) I probably wouldn't have gone into work this morning seeing as I am particularly full of the lurgy..... but hey, I had 2 days off last week (yeah, I know, I had an exam, but hey, work doesn't stop for that) and I have a team to supervise, and other people to be and... and... and... etc.... so yeah, I went to work.........

I coughed, sneezed and croaked my way through the morning.... at one point being told that I sounded a bit like Darth-Vader...... they still wouldn't let me have a light sabre to play with mind..... I had a major guilt attack in the afternoon, nothing to do with work but rather that I'd got someone into trouble.... I am assured I am being silly I shouldn't feel guilty and that all is fine...... this didn't stop me from dwelling for a bit until I managed to get a grip by repeating to myself "I am not responsible for other peoples choices and actions," a few times...... I wrote it down when I got in and stuck it on the wall over the kitchen table so that every time my conscience twinged I could read it and get myself to put it into perspective......... I do have problems with an over developed guilt system and an inability to let things go, but given the reassurances provided I am trying my best to with this.

So come home time from work I wheezed my way to the car park (passed the 5 empty disabled parking spots in front of the office - which bugs the hell out of me, particularly on days like this).... only to find a large crowd of people around the machine where you pay to get out.

And this is where all semblance of tact and diplomacy left me and sarcasm rather took over.  As I leant against the door feeling rather washed out and pathetic some suited cretin (I probably work with this guy but it's a large company ....) was ranting into the speaker thing you press to get help.. Apparently his card had been rejected and he had been told to drive to the barrier and pay there.... obviously the help desk in deepest darkest Peru (okay, probably not, but I've no idea where they live.... possibly they are very small people who actually live in the ticket machines??) didn't know that a few weeks back the facility to pay at the barrier by card had been taken out...... so said cretin's car was now parked at the barrier holding everyone else who had paid and could get out up..... cos no, he didn't have the sense to back it into a spare space whilst he sorted it out.

The guy was downright rude to the person trying to help him, so much so that I wasn't at all surprised when he hung up on him....(I nearly applauded but managed to hold that one back) the suited guy was at this time cursing out the bodiless voice, the staff of the car park, probably their owners and the colony of stray cats on the 9th floor (nah, there probably isn't one, I've not been up that far though so I wouldn't swear to it).... and better still... he wouldn't let anyone else use the machine........I did suggest that perhaps he'd reached his credit limit  on his card which went down like a lead balloon......

Eventually a car park worker came to help him..... leading him away to get him to pay at the kiosk inside... but non one else in the queue moved.... by this time, nearly 20 minutes of standing around in the cold was starting to get to me and I quietly asked (it's related to the sarcasm, if I get quiet and more sarcastic it's a pretty safe bet that tact and diplomacy have legged it and I'm about to blow) whether anyone intended to pay for the car park and, you know, go home?

The sour mouthed woman towards the front of the queue turned on me and started having a go at me about how she had no intention of paying now only to find herself stuck in the queue of cars waiting to go out and the time from paying to exiting expiring so she had to pay more.  Fine says I, but I have a day pass with a fixed price and I would rather sit in my car, so if she'd excuse me.... oh the look I got.... apparently that was queue jumping and I could just wait my turn......

I was quite proud of the fact I didn't call her on her attitude..... I did however, ignore her and mutter something about being unwell whilst stalking (well stomping really) past her, wapping card and money into the machine and flouncing through the door.... by the time I'd got to my car and to the barrier there was no queue and stupid woman was only just coming through the door having just paid....... I kind of hope that waiting might have pushed her time up to the next payment bracket.......

I have done nothing much this evening, a bit of reading and some relaxing whilst bemoaning, silently by text cos talking hurts, the fact that I am freezing but can't eat anything hot as it feels like it's taking the skin off my throat........ hot lemon is bad at the best of time but luke warm lemon is truly revolting......... fingers crossed I can beat this cold in the very near future........ the next germ that comes near me I am going to take out with a mallet!

The weekend by numbers...

1.  I did it, I was examinated, it is over and done with... results mid-December... bugger all I can do about them so I am refusing to worry.  When I got home, did I celebrate my freedom from academia after 3 long hard years?  Did I have a drink or three to get over the exam stress?  Did I go paint the town red (well pale pink, I'm old and not that energetic)?  Nope, none of the above, I took lots of cold cures and went to bed early.... I really am an old woman at times!

2.  Saturday started ridiculously early with the realisation that in fact I couldn't breathe .... no nothing drastic.... I have a heavy cold, so of course Gina is trying to aid my recovery (not) by lying in the crook of my neck, with her head resting heavily over my windpipe....The rest of the day was rather boring... I did some serious comfort reading .... and confirmed to myself that, why yes, I do in fact have a crush on a fictional character!.... not so unusual? well perhaps, only in this case object of said crush is male... which for me makes it a bit odd...... ah well, never mind, no one is going to have a problem with me taking him home and looking after him are they?? (though given his Top like tendencies this maybe a mistake on my part)

3.  Laundry happened at some point yesterday... cos clean clothes are a helpful thing for the working week.... only problem is.. lack of heating and wet clothes does not a happy mix make... upstairs in my house feels like a slightly damp laundrette.  I have the heater on in the book room to get things dry... the cats however think this is just on for them....

4.  I don't know about anyone else, but when I have a cold my lips tend to dry out and crack... they did this overnight but I didn't realise until after I'd reached out and drank the lemon squash I had by the bed.... erm... OUCH!!  really not to be recommended... I was very awake and cursing in seconds!

5.  I have no voice!!  The dogs think this is a wonderful thing as unless I can get my hands on something non breakable when they open their gobs that I can throw towards them they've realised I can do nothing to shut them up (usually I shout, well I don't, I just say "Gretchen" in a very loud and stern tone.... which works, well on all bar one dog.... okay, guess which... I tried it earlier and sounded like Kermit on Helium... not good!)

6.  I have been beta reading a story today (which I am really enjoying) but appear to be trying to eat my own body weight in satsumas as I do it...

7.  I had planned to do some baking as well today, but discovered when I bent down to put the oven on that going dizzy was possibly not a good thing to have happen to you when you are using an electric mixer, hot gas oven etc.... well particularly as this is me we are talking about.

8. I need to get rid of my germs before tomorrow... work is not a fun place at the best of times, though I suppose I can run a quarantine flag up the back of my chair and wheeze at people till they go away and leave me alone...... I shall have to find a friendly minion to answer my phone for me though... what a shame ;)

So, this is it....is it?

By this time tomorrow three and a half years of hard work and assignments will be over.  Each year for three years I've done and passed eight assignments in key subject areas and been to a compulsory seminar.... but all of that counts for nothing.... it all hinges on tomorrow and whether I can pass two exams starting with a theory type paper at 11 am and then a practical paper at 2 pm.......to pass I have to secure a minimum of 65% in both........ and I won't get the results till mid December.

Despite that when I get home tomorrow evening I know I can do nothing about the outcome, so it is time to put it behind me and do other things with my free time....

Thanks to reading Amy Lane's knitting books recently (okay, so I finished the last one earlier tonight after my brain reached critical saturation point on the revision front) I appear to have re-discovered my knitting mojo ... just in time to at least get a couple of projects I'd promised done for Christmas... with the knitting it's then onwards to March when two of my friends have babies due... I feel mini socks may be on the cards...

Rupert the evil plot bunny gave me an idea for the November story prompt, which I am hoping to get written up this weekend - so nice not to have to shove what I really want to write to one side for the sake of my course!  I'd also like to work on one other story, which I have the characters for and the very bare bones of a story, but I have no idea where it's going save the opening scene and a bit of background....... I shall just let my characters lead me.

I have a story to beta read this weekend too which I am really looking forward to.

Other than that, my time is my own.... I should really do something to celebrate finishing my course.... something that doesn't get me into trouble.... or arrested ... that is.... perhaps if I have a couple of celebratory vodkas something will come to me on this subject.

In the meantime, I am taking my germ ridden self and a box of tissues to bed for an early night.....

Wibbling slightly....

I'd say about 80% of the time I am fine with being on my own... however, in the run up to these exams, even with incredibly supportive real life and virtual friends, I've really been missing having someone close enough in my life who will give me some personal support, even if it's just to give me a hug when it's all getting too much.

Right now, I am stressed to hell, wavering between throwing a full tantrum in only the way a brat can along the lines of "I can't do this", or running away and hiding.

Added to which I appear to be starting with an early winter cold (streaming nose, itchy eyes, sore throat....) which is just so not needed right now.

As much as I value my independence, there are times when even I believe it's not all it's cracked up to be....those times when I don't actually feel like being the one who can stand on her own two feet, smile, nod and convince everyone that everything is fine.... I just want to lean on someone else for a bit.

Stress levels rising...

I've mastered the first part just working
up to the second....

My finals are in 3 days... well actually in 60 hours....

I don't feel like I know anything - which is ridiculous as the subjects I am being examined on I work at every day - but I am at the stage of looking at case law and Civil Procedure Rules and my mind is just going blank.

After a full day's work I can't revise of an evening or I get to the stage of either wanting to curl up in a ball and cry or having a complete out tantrum, stamping my feet and yelling "I can't do it" at the top of my voice.

I'd liked to have had more than 1 day off before my exams to put in some more revision but that's not an option (and my standing in as team leader got off to a flying start this week when first thing Monday morning one of the team came to me to hand in her notice.... that wasn't on the briefing I got before taking on the post for a month)

Time I think for lots of deep breaths and calming thoughts

and if all else fails I shall do as the picture advises...

Fly - 1, Naked Cats - 0....

Hugo: "Where did it go?"
Gina: "Quiet! Stalking!!"

So there I was, quietly curled up on the sofa reading, the fire on full blast (yep, still no heating - and yes, I've seen, we are threatened temperatures of -15 or so.... pah... I laugh in the face of such temperatures... okay slightly hysterically but that's the only option)... the dogs all snoozing around me.... when there was a roll of thunder from above.....

Well no, it wasn't thunder at all..... it was... The Great End of Season Fly Hunt.....

For two quite small cats they can't half make it sound like I've a heard of elephants crashing about upstairs......

By the time I put the dogs away and came up to play on the computer for a bit before bed they had managed to pull the towels off the back of the bathroom door, knock books off the shelf, tip over and spray their bowl of cat biscuits across the study floor and remove just about all the drying clothes off the airer.

I should be grateful they didn't knock the electric heater I put on for them up here over and set the house alight.

And the cause of all this .... a small innocent housefly, which was at the time lurking harmlessly on top of the bathroom door...

The following conversation may have then taken place....

Hugo (whilst bouncing up and down next to the bathroom door):  "Fly, fly, look human, fly"
Me (with toothbrush in mouth): "stop it, and if you even think about climbing up... ouch...Hugo!"
Hugo (whilst leaping from half way up my back towards the door): "I can get it, I can, oh no....."
Gina (from her perch on the banister rail): "If I chatter my teeth at it will you help get it?"

cue teeth chattering and strange chirrupy meow.... as I heartlessly wander past into my bedroom ignoring them.

Hugo: "I can get it, I can get it"

Next time I looked he was stuck half way up the wall with his claws stuck in the revolting anaglypta wall paper staring pathetically at the housefly which was still on the top of the bathroom door.  I left him there to find his own way down on the theory that he got up there himself he can get down himself.

I've turned the lights off now, and the fly appears to have won this round... Gina has taken herself to bed in a pile of my clean waiting to be ironed clothes, and Hugo is currently on guard duty on top of the book room door... which means any second he's going to make a leap for my right kidney to soften his landing on the way down.......

Remind me... I have these cats because????

Friday evening waffling.....

This time next week, three years of hard work and my finals will all be over.... which is a bit of a sobering thought for someone that has a problem with completing things... this is something I have no choice in though so I am going to have to live with it.  Though the results of the exams won't come out until December so I will be in limbo for a while afterwards.

Talking to a friend this evening, in between the talk of babies, toddlers, badly behaved critters (more of which later) and knitting, we were coming up with ideas of what I can do with my free time.....Now I've said from about the start of this course that this will be it, I will not be doing any further studying... she however has doing various Open University courses over the last few years, some of which do sound tempting - I'd really quite like to do the medieval history course.... but then again, I have kind of had enough of studying.

I do need to think of something, as failing that I will end up taking work home to do in the evenings.... and as much as I could and in fact would spend my entire free time lost in my Kindle (well till it gave up and exploded... again) I should perhaps do other things to unwind.  I do have several knitting projects I need to get on with, and I have some story ideas I would like to get written (and I have been threatened with nagging if my mainstream YA series doesn't get it's second book in the very near future... bossy beta readers!)

That said, I've still a week to get through, and a fun filled week of revision it would be.  Tomorrow and Sunday are scheduled out into 3 x 2 hour blocks, with time off for grocery deliveries and laundry (I know how to have fun....), Monday night I will have revision free as I am always kippered when I get home from work on a Monday night.. more revision Tuesday and Wednesday night and then on Thursday I actually have an official revision day, by which I am hoping I will only be highlighting and cross checking.....oh and making sure I've directions to Leeds where I am sitting the exam.


Now hopefully the canine critters will be well behaved for the rest of the weekend.... they got a severe rollicking when I got home from work as the delightful little gits had emptied my kitchen bin all over the floor... it probably took me longer to clean up than it did for them to empty it.... I am just hoping there are no ill effects from the debris they have probably managed to eat.

The cats are being smug ... they always are when the dogs are in trouble, and I am in fact typing this with my head painfully tilted to one side as Gina is balancing on my left shoulder, purring in my ear, as she supervises my typing....... either that or she's getting revenge for me refusing to give her the Q-tip to play with this morning......