Don't ask me to smile please.........

I have a problem. 

I need to update my driving licence

Not a problem... just send off the form and fee to the DVLA and ta da! they will send you back your new updated photocard and paper licence.

So the problem (well aside from the fact I really object to having to pay a fee for the privilege of updating my licence) ... I need to have a photograph done to send with the licence application.

It's a well known fact that I don't do photographs... being in them that is... I know a lot of people don't like having their photograph taken (and I totally understand this - particularly those who have body image issues) but for me it's a little beyond "not liking" photographs of myself.

Point a camera at me and I will disappear in the opposite direction as fast as I can.... usually I can get out of range before I melt down, but persist with the need to take my photo and I will probably either burst into tears or throw up on you.  It's not simply a case of not liking it, it freaks me out completely.

Yes, I do actually have a phobia of having my photograph taken (which I couldn't find a formal name for - photophobia being the fear of bright light ... and I've had that too in the past when I was sick with PTC/BIH)... This something that's developed over the last ten years or so from a couple of incidents involving cameras wielded by people I didn't know in public places - so not entirely irrational, but it totally feels that way.  

In the next week I need to face this though (it's either that or end up with massive fine for not updating my licence).  At the moment I've managed 3 false starts in going to the photo booth - twice I didn't manage to get to the shop where it is at all, before I parked the car I'd started feeling like I would be sick and started shaking, so just drove around and went homeagain. Today I made it into the shop and to the photo booth, and then straight past it and out the other side of the shop.... I even made it back to the car before bursting into tears. I just couldn't do it.

All I need is a small passport photograph of myself... and I just cannot make myself go and get it done.... at least not just yet... I shall have to have another attempt during the week.